Things that make you irrationally mad

[DontGetIt1]

I'll go first... Why is herbal essences shampoo is so flipping hard to get out of the bottle!

Being told "your call is really important to us but have you thought of trying our website?" by a recorded voice on a customer service helpline when you're into your 40th fucking minute of being on hold.

No, I'm just sitting on hold for shits and giggles.

On MN specifically, it's the tired old cliches that people seem to use when they're not up to producing anything original.
"Are you on glue?" and "pearl clutching" were probably quite funny the first or second time they were used but I find them so tedious now. I can't imagine "ODFOD" or "Give your head a wobble" ever being seen as particularly witty.
I also find it strange when people use the slogan "Your body; your choice" for really mundane things like "Your sofa; your choice".
Or an odd one I saw the other day was two mixed metaphors along the lines of "there were stuffed shirts hoiking their bosoms" which conjured up a strange picture!

I read somewhere “the Rausing family have made a fortune from their liquid packaging products. Imagine how much money they’d have made if they actually worked”.

Flies that can find their way in through half an inch of open window but can't see a way out of a double patio door!

When you’re filling in your address on a website and it asks for the country you’re in and you have to scroll right down for the UK. I could understand if it was international but so many UK websites but the UK at the top separately and then (as they know most people will be ticking it) and then allow everyone else to scroll down.

when you’re in the drop down box, before you start scrolling just press “U” or “G”.

Pedestrian crossings that turn green then immediately switch to a countdown of six seconds. It's not bloody long enough for older or disabled people!
I'm looking at you Highbury Corner.

One of mine is when you're typing in your details on a website and it doesn't let you finish before telling you off. 🤨

For example:
Website: Add your email address
Me: am...
Website: It's not enough characters!
Me: Let me finish!

It's petty, but it gets on my tits.

Opening an orange juice carton properly is impossible without slopping it everywhere.
Apologies if I'm preaching to the converted, but there is usually a triangular tab at each end of the carton top which can be pulled up and used to hold the carton when opening, to avoid a shower of juice.

When you're mad about catching your sleeve on the door handle, think of my DH who has really old skin grafts which have left a pocket on his arm. He catches that 😮

My DH used to do this in the shower in the morning! Some awful sports radio or podcast that was louder outside of the bathroom than in. I bought him a waterproof speaker and my stress levels rebalanced themselves.

I’m going to add here:

• posters who refuse to understand or engage with technology. Yes, I accept that there are sometimes valid Reasons, but often women delegate technological responsibility to their DP/DH. Then you see threads where a woman has a smart phone but has no idea how it works, how to do security settings, how to turn location off or how to protect themselves from an abusive partner with any level of technological competence.

People who start threads on MN then disappear forever.

My bed. Came from Warren Evans. So did the previous one. It has sticky out bedpost/legs that you don’t notice are there until you bang your shin going past. I’ve been doing this for 30 years and still do it every time I change the sheets.

Also, door handles. Never mind catching clothes, I’ve got bruises on my upper arms from walking into them. At least every other day.

Plantstrees I’m sorry to do this to you because you sound lovely, but having mentioned SPAG as one of your ‘things’, you go on to use ‘loosing’ instead of losing.

Yes this! What is their problem?

Any phone or online interaction with a company, no matter how mundane, and they ask you to complete a survey afterwards. And if you don't, you get plaintive reminder emails until the end of time.

At work I'm asked to fill in a survey every time I contact IT.

It's just one more thing to feel obligated and guilty about and it makes my head fizzy.

Slugs.

getting halfway through a loaf of bread and it suddenly growing massive blue spots of mould overnight.

emptying the dishwasher and all the accumulated water from the top of things dripping down into my socks.

that with the mumsnet update, not only did I lose my previous username and profile, but it won’t autocapitalise the start of new paragraphs, and now everything looks as though it was written by e e cummings.

Fat dogs. There is no excuse. Do the right thing for your dependent animal!