To be annoyed at the office Neat Freak?

[ItsAllInTheWaySheMoves]

I have name changed as I've moaned about this to a couple of RL mates.

I work in a small office; there are 7 of us. One member of the team is a complete and utter neat freak and tbh I am finding her behaviour both annoying and unnerving as we are all constantly getting told off by her for any mess, or anything that she perceives to be mess when it is just at a normal level.

I am not a messy person. My house is very tidy. I keep my desk at work tidy but I do need certain things out on my desk during the day; stationery such as a stapler and hole puncher, files, various paperwork, and a drink. Each day when I've finished work my desk is totally tidy and everything is put away.

We are all constantly coming back to our desks if we've been away from them to find she's tidied them up, which is usually accompanied by a telling off saying we shouldn't have left X, Y or Z out. She moans at us if we have, say, two drinks on our desks (coffee and a bottle of water in my case, today!).

She came storming over to my desk today saying my keyboard looked 'dirty' and huffed and puffed and started wiping it with an antibacterial wipe!

She also is always huffing and puffing around the office emptying bins several times a day (and yes, we get moaned at for putting rubbish in our bins), hoovering, and straightening anything and everything up. It is absolutely doing my head in!

No point speaking to the manager as he is scared of her I think and always whispers to us to keep things tidy so we don't upset her!

AIBU to be fucked off with this? I'm a grown woman and want to be left to deal with my own desk!

That sounds like his manager is a twat. Noone should be interfering with anyone else's desk whether it is the lady in the OP tidying up or this manager purposely disrupting an obviously intentional system.

(I know that it it technically all owned by the company, but control of your immediate environment is so important to being able to work effectively)

You have to assert your boundaries as this is absolutely not normal behaviour and you shouldn’t tolerate it.

“You can’t touch my desk or computer at all, X. I’ll tidy everything at the end of the day but I do not want to discuss it and I don’t want to hear you moaning. Discuss it with our manager if you think there’s an problem but do not touch my things.”

😂

I disagree with this so much. The woman isn't being kind to others, her behaviour is unreasonable and intrusive. Why must reasonable people always "be kind" to the unreasonable people, but not be able to expect kind consideration in return? Because the unreasonable ones have special needs, that we only guess at?

Sorry this has "triggered" me a bit thinking about other issues politically/socially where normal women have to be accommodating all the time.

I want to go back to a time when we COULD be judgemental of irritating, unreasonable behaviour. Not of people with special needs necessarily (we don't know if the woman in this story does or not) but of just plain unreasonable behaviour

No point speaking to the manager as he is scared of her I think and always whispers to us to keep things tidy so we don't upset her!

Why would you speak to your line manager anyway?
He's not the one interfering with your desk or tutting at you.

Next time she does it -
"Hoy Mavis - don't touch my stuff, & don't tell me how you reckon I'm allowed to use my stuff. OK? Thanks."

Do NOT engage further - just 'broken record' technique by repeating that phrase.
Do NOT be pulled into JADE - outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain
& do NOT tolerate any DARVO pushback from her - www.banyantherapy.com/darvo/

She'll be shocked that one of you has finally stood your ground to her CFery. So expect the pushback - but just go back to your broken record phrase when she blusters or blames you for making a perfectly reasonable (but not smiley or deferential) request.

• "as I have just said, Mavis ..." etc.