To be annoyed at the office Neat Freak?

[ItsAllInTheWaySheMoves]

I have name changed as I've moaned about this to a couple of RL mates.

I work in a small office; there are 7 of us. One member of the team is a complete and utter neat freak and tbh I am finding her behaviour both annoying and unnerving as we are all constantly getting told off by her for any mess, or anything that she perceives to be mess when it is just at a normal level.

I am not a messy person. My house is very tidy. I keep my desk at work tidy but I do need certain things out on my desk during the day; stationery such as a stapler and hole puncher, files, various paperwork, and a drink. Each day when I've finished work my desk is totally tidy and everything is put away.

We are all constantly coming back to our desks if we've been away from them to find she's tidied them up, which is usually accompanied by a telling off saying we shouldn't have left X, Y or Z out. She moans at us if we have, say, two drinks on our desks (coffee and a bottle of water in my case, today!).

She came storming over to my desk today saying my keyboard looked 'dirty' and huffed and puffed and started wiping it with an antibacterial wipe!

She also is always huffing and puffing around the office emptying bins several times a day (and yes, we get moaned at for putting rubbish in our bins), hoovering, and straightening anything and everything up. It is absolutely doing my head in!

No point speaking to the manager as he is scared of her I think and always whispers to us to keep things tidy so we don't upset her!

AIBU to be fucked off with this? I'm a grown woman and want to be left to deal with my own desk!

Oh and I'd probably make her a terrible cup of tea 😉

If she's like this she's probably going to be a germaphobe too, so lick everything on your desk while she's watching. She probably won't touch any of it again 😁

In all seriousness she sounds like she needs some help and your manager needs to get a grip.

Definitely tell her not to touch your stuff or move things on your desk. I think it’s ok to be a bit rude to her if she won’t listen. I’d be furious as I really hate people touching my stuff. Just ignore any huffing and puffing and use the bins as you like.

it’s not the OP’s place to help this woman with her issues. She needs to get help for herself.

Start leaving 'personal items' (tubes of Anusol, boxes of sanitary towels, etc) on your desk, that might put her off interfering with your stuff.

Have you asked her yet “Please can you confirm if you have touched any of my possessions or my work?”

I would start with that.

Maybe sellotape down your stapler (at a jaunty, annoying angle).

You need to be firm with her. Leave my desk alone should work in the first instance.

@thistimelastweek

i woukdnt be asking, I'd be telling!!

nicely, once. Then very abruptly if required. Followed by 'leave my desk the fuck alone & turn that ducking hoover OFF. Do you not have any work to do? Seems we are over staffed!

This would drive me absolutely crazy. Your manager is an idiot. The woman is going to cause huge arguments and he's just lying low.

Also, I wouldn't play games with her. Set your boundaries and be firm.

One of my co-workers has some kind of anxiety disorder. She sometimes obsessively texts me out of work abut the same issue over and over. I have a rule that I reply to the first text, but not to subsequent texts. I always reply "OK, I understand. See you tomorrow" and that's it. I do understand how hard it is living with metal illness as I have my own issues, but boundaries are really important.

retalliate by dumping empty/half empty mugs on her desk, she can get her tidying fix by washing them up for you.

Why you haven't very firmly and very directly put this cow in her place is beyond me. Stop being a doormat.

She wouldn't approve of my desk.
Yesterday I had a mug, cafetière, 2 water bottles and a travel mug...and that was just the drinks 😂

YABU for using the term "neat freak" its pretty offensive, this woman clearly has a mental health issue, probably OCD, that she's massively struggling, to call her such an awful thing is not okay. Yes, she needs to contact her GP and look in ti getting help, but at least try to be understanding instead of rude and unkind.

It sounds like she has ocd possibly - I have ocd and I don't say this lightly at all! So she needs to get help for that

BUT she IS being unreasonable and someone in a managerial position needs to tell her to cut it out (and probably that she should access help for the ocd)

Urgh - your manager is a Fucking idiot! And clearly doesn't know how to manage. Make it a formal issue and go over his head if need be this is ridiculous!

Please don't mess up her desk - tempting as that is - it will only inflame the issue and could well cause her great distress.

She obviously needs help but she is out of order making it impact on others in this way.

Kind but assertive is the way to go I think

Superglue things to your desk so she can't move them. Only things you don't actually need/ can use when they are stuck down.

I think I'd say to her: please don't touch ANYTHING on my desk it makes me feel anxious and stressed and I might start crying if you keep doing it.

She's obviously got a problem.
Your boss is a weak fool.
Inform HR because it is stressing you and is a workplace issue.
What if you go off on paid stress leave due to the OCD woman?

Make little signs on post-it notes saying "Important work tool - do not move!"; "Out on purpose!", "Just where I'm supposed to be!", "Ah, ah, ah, no touching [neat freak]!", etc. and stick them on everything.

Or, if you don't have a ridiculous amount of time to waste at work, just tell her, clearly, that she is disrupting your work and she needs to keep her hands off your desk.

This is excellent.

Don't touch my desk or I shall report you to management

We had a neat freak at work,all his pins in his tray were lined up perfectly, his banana was always at the same angle on his desk, his manager used to walk past his desk, bump his pin tray & dump a pile of files on his banana.

Can you not just speak? When she’s tidying your desk say ‘Sandra leave my desk. I don’t want you moving things on my desk. Stop touching my belongings.’

How dare she?!! you should have stopped her the first time she did it. From now on you need to tell her to stop, she is invading you personal space. Tell her is she keeps doing it you will have to raise a grievance against her.

She is hoovering during work hours when she is not a cleaner?!! What is her job? She's a bit underemployed if she can faff about hoovering and emptying bins. Does she do her own work to a decent standard?

I would have lost my rag before now and would already have said keep the fuck away from my desk! It happened to me a few years back, my colleague tidying my desk whilst I was actually sat there working - she didn't do it again