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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry we're raising an annoying child

211 replies

MolliciousIntent · 12/05/2022 19:00

I'm sleep deprived, hormonal and a little insane and somehow I think the birth of DD2 has made me even more PFB about DD1.

She's 2.5, pretty bright and very chatty. She's a tiny parrot and repeats every phrase she hears me and her dad say. It's left her with an (adorable to me) repertoire of very grown-up soundbites which she uses in context. Half the time she talks normal toddler nonsense and the other half she speaks like a 35yr old English teacher.

People have started commenting on it, and I'm concerned it's making her look overly precocious. I used to get bullied at school for stuff like this (looking back I was definitely insufferable) and I'm concerned about history repeating itself with my baby.

How do I handle this? My husband thinks it's a non-issue and I need a G&T and a good night's sleep.

OP posts:
Rachellow · 13/05/2022 20:58

She’s reflecting your environment and it’s one that seems to be full of praise which is lovely. I teach a 7 year old who comes out with fab phrases today we had “oh it’s all kicking off in here” after 1 child got upset. She’s not annoying I just love how sweetly confident she is!

RandomName130 · 13/05/2022 21:02

Your DD sounds adorable OP 🥰

I know what you mean though - I was in a shop the other day with DS (18months) and the lady at the till put her hand out to take what I was buying and said “I’ll take that” or something along that like. I’m constantly reminding DS to say please and thank you and he replied “ehhhhh...say “please mumma”!” 🤣 she didn’t look impressed at all!

My DH also thinks it’s hilarious to teach him random words/names 🙄 a lovely older lady that we chatted to gave him £1 in a cafe the other day to buy get him some sweeties which was so kind of her! I said to DS “Isn’t that kind?! What do you say to the lady?” to which he very loudly and confidently replied “Ta babycakes” 🙈😳🤣

Mollymoostoo · 13/05/2022 21:03

My 9 year old said her dad was 'entitled' because he said he bought a firestick for himself and not for everyone else to use.
She also stated that mermaid is a sexist name as it suggests females are maids.
I'm proud to have a child who is woke, have some G and T and be proud of the child you are raising.

Notanotherwindow · 13/05/2022 21:05

My 4 year old niece told me yesterday yha5 my shoe cupboard was 'ridiculous, auntie Not, how can you find anything in this lot? Go and get a black bag, we're going to sort this out.'

I was in stitches.

Echobelly · 13/05/2022 21:08

TBF, most 2.5 year olds are annoying to some extent!

And it's good to have a big vocabulary - I remember when DD was little MIL complained to DH that he was using words she couldn't understand, and he said 'How do you expect her to learn new words?' and he reminded her of that a year or two later when she said how articulate DD was!

Lovely13 · 13/05/2022 22:14

When I was getting stressed trying to squeeze into tight parking spot, my son, 3, shouted ‘oh bl@@@y f@@@@ng hell!’ Taught to him by his eldest brother.
He understood the sentiment and emotion of expression but not exactly what he was saying.
Guess your child is doing the same. You’ll laugh about it all one day. Promise!

user1506328491 · 13/05/2022 22:32

I think if it happens naturally and you're not trying to cultivate her saying this kind of thing it's normal. What people hate is the parents who encourage their kids to be precocious / 'hilarious'

Hmm1234 · 13/05/2022 22:36

Sounds fascinating. I think you’ll find strangers when out will find your child ‘cute’ and even talk to her. You shouldn’t worry about this I’m actively raising my child to be smart and if she goes to a good school her peers will be similar

Strawberryfieldsfornever · 14/05/2022 03:47

Seems normal for her age. She sounds delightful rather than obnoxious. Cherish her. They grow up way too fast.

Stilsmiling · 14/05/2022 09:27

I wouldn’t laugh at the comments or make a big deal. If the tin is dented then it doesn’t matter what age she is she is just observant about the world around her and communicating well with her daddy.
Complimenting the other kids work is a lovely trait to imitate.

Kids will imitate the behaviour they see, good and bad so I would not respond to her in any other way other than normal conversation or with “that’s a lovely thing to say, thank you” if she has complimented you.

We are all different and kids are too, some are shy, some are more natural leaders. All are valuable parts of society and make teams work so while her behaviour may trigger negative feelings in you it may be because you were scorned or laughed at for speaking like that rather than it just being part of who you are. The nursery staff see all sorts of behaviour and enjoy different characters so have a think about whether the issue is your daughter and her ability to replicate good behaviour or if it is triggering negative memories for you.

She sounds lovely, long may her compliments for others last!

Bednobsbroomsticks · 14/05/2022 09:36

She sounds absolutely lovely .

Taleas0ldastime · 14/05/2022 10:44

My 6 year old has autism and ID, she can struggle with balance, spatial awareness etc and is inclined to trip, walk into things etc especially if we're out somewhere busy and she's distracted looking around. I'm always reminding her to "Watch where you're walking (name)". We were in a supermarket yesterday and 2 ladies came round the end of am aisle and almost collided with their trolleys. Dd pipes up "Watch where you're walking ladies". Luckily they saw the funny side!

RainCoffeeBook · 14/05/2022 11:48

My kid was fluent early. Adults didn't comment. It did make it harder for him to make friends with kids who weren't verbal yet. It all evened out in the end.

But no, comments were positive. You absolutely do not want to give the poor kid a complex about speaking. She'll notice herself soon enough and will already feel out of place amongst non verbal kids. She'll gravitate towards adults she can talk to. Don't say anything about it for now.

Mirw · 14/05/2022 13:21

I hate kids who do this. Especially when the parents sit and glow at their "smart kids". It is not usually in "context" as 2.5 yr olds don't understand context, so it just sounds cheeky and rude, very rarely funny. But these kids expect other people to find them funny and there is usually tears and snot if that is not the reaction they get. Tantrums are never a good look! From child or parents!

Original poster
MolliciousIntent · 14/05/2022 13:30

Mirw · 14/05/2022 13:21

I hate kids who do this. Especially when the parents sit and glow at their "smart kids". It is not usually in "context" as 2.5 yr olds don't understand context, so it just sounds cheeky and rude, very rarely funny. But these kids expect other people to find them funny and there is usually tears and snot if that is not the reaction they get. Tantrums are never a good look! From child or parents!

Aren't you a ray of sunshine!

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 14/05/2022 13:40

I hate kids who do this. Especially when the parents sit and glow at their "smart kids". It is not usually in "context" as 2.5 yr olds don't understand context, so it just sounds cheeky and rude, very rarely funny. But these kids expect other people to find them funny and there is usually tears and snot if that is not the reaction they get. Tantrums are never a good look! From child or parents!

There is nothing whatsoever in the OP's post which suggests anything her child says is remotely cheeky or rude. I very much doubt a 2.5 year-old is having a tantrum because she is unsatisfied with the reaction of her public. And it's more than clear the OP isn't having a tantrum about it. But sure, feel free to hate kids who are good mimics or more articulate than average for their age. Hmm

BoredZelda · 14/05/2022 15:50

Is all that based on one woman's comment in a supermarket?

@LaMarschallin No, it’s based on general experience of people.

BoredZelda · 14/05/2022 15:53

Especially when the parents sit and glow at their "smart kids". It is not usually in "context" as 2.5 yr olds don't understand context, so it just sounds cheeky and rude, very rarely funny. But these kids expect other people to find them funny and there is usually tears and snot if that is not the reaction they get. Tantrums are never a good look! From child or parents!

Nonsense. Mostly, my daughter got the context at that age. And, when people laughed at her comments when she said something they found funny but she wasn’t being intentionally funny, she didn’t like it. She was a smart kid at 2.5 and is a smart kid at 13, according to the reports from all her teachers.

BoredZelda · 14/05/2022 15:56

@Taleas0ldastime That’s so sweet 😍

@RainCoffeeBook Mine was the same when young, she couldn’t understand why children wouldn’t speak to her. But, she’s got great friends now.

ZazuMoon · 14/05/2022 17:48

My DS who is the same age corrects people at attractions who don’t use the correct word, particularly for vehicles. For example ‘that’s not a digger, it’s a bulldozer. It’s got a blade at the front- see?’ He was right as well. 🙈
I wouldn’t worry about it- they have learnt specific words in their vocabulary and are testing them out in new situations. People close to them teach them and they are replicating that.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/05/2022 19:22

Londoncallingme · 13/05/2022 19:52

Haven’t read beyond pg 1 but it seems to be lots of “well done for xyz.”
if it is bothering you then maybe tone down the praise a bit.

No, OP - please don’t !

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/05/2022 19:24

Mirw · 14/05/2022 13:21

I hate kids who do this. Especially when the parents sit and glow at their "smart kids". It is not usually in "context" as 2.5 yr olds don't understand context, so it just sounds cheeky and rude, very rarely funny. But these kids expect other people to find them funny and there is usually tears and snot if that is not the reaction they get. Tantrums are never a good look! From child or parents!

Yikes - someone swallowed a wasp

onemouseplace · 14/05/2022 19:25

I think quite a few PFBs are like this. My favourite was my friend's very serious 2 year old who, when he went to someone's house for the first time, looked round the living room very thoughtfully, and then said to the host 'I really like what you've done with the place'.

MedievalNun · 14/05/2022 19:48

Your DD sounds lovely. If it’s any consolation my DD (an only) was the same at that age. She went through school with friends with a similar attitude and wasn’t bullied (thank eff, I was bullied for it too) & is now in a career she loves, but that really piles on the responsibility (& she’s not yet 21). You both sound like amazing parents, and are obviously doing a great job.

Have a gin, enjoy Eurovision and don’t let the lemon-eaters at the supermarket bring you down.

Murdoch1949 · 14/05/2022 20:36

Your daughter sounds absolutely lovely and bright. She's quick on the uptake, so you need to watch your profanities until she's old enough to understand what's appropriate outside of home, but everything else is just lovely. The supermarket woman was being complimentary, not judgey, so lighten up.