I’m a working Mum of two boys with what I would deemed to be a limited social circle. No family (only child, parents both deceased). No real Mum friends - first child I had two Mum friends both with little girls, after the kids developed different interest and ended up going to different schools we’ve drifted apart - for our second child Covid limited our interactions with others. I have close acquaintances in work but I’m technically their boss (with no real peer support) so it’s difficult to develop strong friendships which don’t impact that dynamic,
My only real friendship circle is girls I’m friends with from high school, four of us in total. We’re obviously the same age (40+), two of us have kids the other two don’t.
Since the start of the year we’ve made an additional effort to see each other a little more. Last year we maybe saw each other 2-3 times in the year. Generally we are doing once every 4-6 weeks. We alternate between going over to someone’s house, ordering a takeout and having a chat; to maybe going into town for lunch or dinner, occasionally having a drink (not done an outing with alcohol this year).
The other girls have met up more often, sometimes (but not often) as couples - but hubby not interested in going so I tend to skip those. I will often decline other outings as my husband feels like I’m out too much. He will say “it’s my decision whether I go” and “he won’t stop me from going” but his attitude and body language scream he’s not happy.
This week is a prime example. We had arrange to go out at the end of the month, organised a month in advance, table for lunch booked, hubby informed, really looking forward to it - might even managing a drink! A kids birthday party was reorganised to the same date and I accepted the invite forgetting about my plans. When I realised I mentioned to hubby and asked whether he could drop one child off at the birthday party and look after the other child. I got a straight no. Non negotiable.
I looked into other options but nothing seemed to work. I considered declining the party invite, but felt guilty prioritising my social life over the kids. So I said to my friends I wouldn’t be able to go, who (wonderfully) suggested moving the date from the Saturday to the Sunday to accommodate. Great I thought. But I got major attitude when I mentioned his to hubby.
I don’t think I’m being unreasonable trying to get out every 4-6 weeks, am I? I don’t see anyone else during evenings or weekend, all this time is spent with hubby and kids. I just want some female company, and to unwind and let off steam with others about life.