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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 days prior to DS birthday celebrations and not a single RSVP

62 replies

ItOnlyAMovie · 11/05/2022 18:26

It's not a party but an activity you need to prebook. I have to book tomorrow or availablity will be gone for Saturday.

Out of 7 kids not a single RSVP.

I don't know whether to book the 8 kids and just see if they turn up. Book the 8 kids and if no RSVP just take family kids (but what if his school mates just turn up?!)

Why don't people just text back :(

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 11/05/2022 18:26

Call each one or text them individually

2ndBorn · 11/05/2022 18:26

Text them again - now. People are shit!

Original poster
ItOnlyAMovie · 11/05/2022 18:28

I don't have any of their numbers!

They have mine from invite

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/05/2022 18:30

Are you sure the invites were given out?

RunnerDuck2020 · 11/05/2022 18:30

That’s terrible, some people are so rude! They must know you’ll need to know numbers for an activity. Have you got any contact details for them, can you get in touch via Facebook etc?

Fireflygal · 11/05/2022 18:32

Are you sure the invites were given out

This! How did you give the invites? Do you have at least one number? Just to check if any invites received.

Afrodizzyak · 11/05/2022 18:33

Very rude, change your plans and spoil your son with a memorable birthday.

LollyLol · 11/05/2022 18:33

That's so rude and annoying. But are you 100% sure you wrote your number correctly on the invitation? And did you specify an RSVP date? If they didnt RSVP by the date you can assume they arent coming.

Do you know numbers of any parents at school at all, who might be able to put you in touch? Can you grab someone at the school gate in the morning?

NecklessMumster · 11/05/2022 18:33

IME no one rsvps and then everyone turns up

WishingWell5 · 11/05/2022 18:35

Put a reminder note in your child's bag for them all saying you need to know either way, yes or no. People are so rude.

Enjoyy · 11/05/2022 18:35

That's so rude 😪 do you have 8 kids you know who could fill in if the original ones can't make it?
In their defence it might be something like my situation where my psycho ex won't RSVP because he is a control freak and doesn't want me to know what he's doing with the DC at weekends (not that I care, as long as they are safe). It's absolutely mortifying but he has them alternating weekends and there isn't really anything I can do about it, even though the DC miss out socially 🙄

Also some people are just really antisocial / disorganised. I find it really upsetting but I think some people place greater importance on stuff like this and others are more of the mind that weekends etc. are for family. When my youngest (now age 8) left nursery I sent out little letters with my number asking people to a leaving do and so we could keep in touch, and one parent replied out of about 20 kids!

Lazypuppy · 11/05/2022 18:36

Did you put a deadline to rsvp? Are you 100% they have been handed to the parents?

CoralBells · 11/05/2022 18:38

I always used to have to chase up by text

GarlicGnocchi · 11/05/2022 18:40

Don't book it. Find something you can do with your son and if anyone complains about it not going ahead mention they didn't RSVP. I'm so sorry people are shit.

Lolllllllllllll · 11/05/2022 18:41

I wouldn't book anything. Can you scrabble together a meet up of some sort if anyone gets back to you.

CoralBells · 11/05/2022 18:43

Sorry missed your other reply when I posted

endofthelinefinally · 11/05/2022 18:45

I hate this. Back in my day when everybody only had a landline we all consented to a contact list for the class. Then we could phone up and speak to each other. I don't know what to advise at this stage tbh. Sending invites in to school is so hit and miss. The chances are no parents have seen them. They end up left in trays/desks or scrunched up at the bottom of bags.
I am so sorry. Very stressful and disappointing.

Aliceinunderland · 11/05/2022 18:45

Is there a school group on Facebook or WhatsApp? I've seen a post on my DD school Facebook group asking if parents can respond to the child's party invites. It's a common problem unfortunately

BeautifulDragon · 11/05/2022 18:51

How stressful, so sorry OP.

I only ever invite children if I have their parents mobile number, that way you can chase them up! Can get to school early and try to catch the parents?

I would probably cancel tbh. Did the invite say that only RSVP'ING invitees would be booked?

NerrSnerr · 11/05/2022 18:57

Is there any way of speaking/ messaging any of the parents. Can you find them on Facebook or get to school early in the morning and ask the parents on their way into school?

NerrSnerr · 11/05/2022 18:58

How old is your son? Have any of his friends told him they're coming?

Mally100 · 11/05/2022 19:00

How were the invites sent out. Are you sure they were received? It's odd that no one has replied which makes me think that it was sent through properly.

Jeds55 · 11/05/2022 19:04

Seems strange that not one parent has rsvpd. I would be wondering whether they'd been given out properly. I had 4 of 10 from nursery not respond at all but to get none seems odd As pp said did you put a date to rsvp by? I'd chase up with school/nursery

EarringsandLipstick · 11/05/2022 19:05

It's so odd you are still sending paper invites! For kids' parties my way, a WhatsApp group is created & guests' parents added. Everyone replies immediately.

An update like this would be via a further message.

It's terribly rude - do you have any numbers?

EarringsandLipstick · 11/05/2022 19:05

Terribly rude of the parents of course, just be clear!