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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 days prior to DS birthday celebrations and not a single RSVP

62 replies

ItOnlyAMovie · 11/05/2022 18:26

It's not a party but an activity you need to prebook. I have to book tomorrow or availablity will be gone for Saturday.

Out of 7 kids not a single RSVP.

I don't know whether to book the 8 kids and just see if they turn up. Book the 8 kids and if no RSVP just take family kids (but what if his school mates just turn up?!)

Why don't people just text back :(

OP posts:
Whisp3r · 11/05/2022 19:05

That's so rude and unnecessarily stressful for you. I couldn't book without knowing some people were going to come. You can't take a child to their birthday party and have no one turn up. I'd either find a way of contacting them or I'd just send out cancellation notes tomorrow saying nobody was able to come so party is off. I'd then book him a brilliant time doing something else. I hope he has a great birthday and everything works out.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 11/05/2022 19:07

How did you send out the invites and when?

Mally100 · 11/05/2022 19:10

If it was paper invites and shoved in the bags, I'm pretty sure it just stayed there. We have a whatsapp group and almost everyone replies immediately. Paper invites are notorious for these issues.

Charlavail · 11/05/2022 19:13

This makes me heart hurt. I was a wreck waiting for people to RSVP to DD's party. Thankfully she has a few cousins/very close friends we could depend on to turn up!.

ChairCareOh · 11/05/2022 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Profanasaurusrex · 11/05/2022 19:19

At that’s a shame.
I’ve just handed out invites via nursery and put a note on saying unfortunately any rsvp after X date can’t be included as numbers will have been confirmed.
I know the kids first names but none of the parents names and actually none of the surnames either, so trying to find them on Facebook etc wouldn’t be possible.

I hope you get some replies OP.

MerryMarigold · 11/05/2022 19:23

This happened to DS in Year 6. I didn't know parents/ have numbers as we moved schools in Year 5 sand they walk home alone after Y6. I booked it optimistically anyway and I had to get DS to chase his friends for a firm commitment but there was a point where I was really worried. In fact most of those invited did come.

BreatheAndFocus · 11/05/2022 19:31

YADNBU! It’s incredibly rude of them not to reply. Do NOT book the activity though. Try to catch as many parents as possible at the school gate - that’s what I did.

If you don’t get any children replying in time, cancel it and book a different fun family day.

Beautiful3 · 11/05/2022 19:32

I wouldn't book it without rsvps. Think I'd leave it.

Oblomov22 · 11/05/2022 19:35

I get invites got lost! I'd check. Ask teacher. Put a reminder in school bags. No group chat : WhatsApp?

JustSaying101 · 11/05/2022 19:43

Many parents are like this, however, sometimes the invite gets lost, bottom of school bag etc. I had a class party of 30 kids, 15 rsvped and I had to chase the rest on the playground before just to check, nightmare! Usually they've just forgotten to text back or not checked school bag. Some won't bother to rsvp if they're not coming, I personally think you should at least just say yes or no! Then there's always the ones that never rsvp and turn up on the day 🙄

Bournetilly · 11/05/2022 19:44

That’s so rude, is there any way you can contact them like through messenger if you find them on Facebook? Or depending on age would your son have his friends numbers?
I would book it for 8 if it you can fill with children from the family then your son doesn’t miss out. If they don’t RSVP I’d definitely presume they weren’t coming.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/05/2022 19:47

So rude!
do you have a WhatsApp or fb group?
if still no response I’d invite family friends and turn any feckless parents kids away that just rock up away

Smartiepants79 · 11/05/2022 19:49

Is there a parents WhatsApp or similar to post on??
Are you 100% sure the invites were received? How old are the kids? Can you get your son to ask the other kids?? Do you pick up from school at all?

whatevernextmrprimeminister · 11/05/2022 19:51

I’d just assume that they’re not coming and arrange something else.

If people turn up and there’s no party I’m sure they’ll be texting to find out, but then you can remind them that they never confirmed attendance you were not expecting them.

I don’t know why, still, some people don’t rsvp to confirm.

In contrast to another poster, we’ve never had an issue with paper invites not being received. The kids are so bloody excited that they’re likely not forgotten about.

mm40 · 11/05/2022 20:12

Cancel it - spent the same money on a different activity with your son and don’t bother telling the others.

NerrSnerr · 11/05/2022 20:20

EarringsandLipstick · 11/05/2022 19:05

It's so odd you are still sending paper invites! For kids' parties my way, a WhatsApp group is created & guests' parents added. Everyone replies immediately.

An update like this would be via a further message.

It's terribly rude - do you have any numbers?

We still send paper invites at our school. We don't have a class WhatsApp group or anything so don't have many other parents numbers.

MajesticElephant · 11/05/2022 20:22

I received a party invitation last week where the parent had put their phone number incorrectly on the invite (which I found out when I got a strange reply back!). I managed to get the right number which was one digit out from another parent but any chance you’ve done the same?

BobHadBitchTits · 11/05/2022 20:27

One person didn't RSVP to my son's party so I didn't book a place.

She then sent me a message the week after the party saying her son would like to come.

She'd not check his book bag in 6 weeks!

canonlydoblue · 11/05/2022 20:38

Find them on facebook or catch them in the playground tomorrow.

Hankunamatata · 11/05/2022 20:41

Urgh Iv learned to set a date for replies to invites - usually at least a week before the activity. I set up class whats app in nursery with each of my kids classes in nursery so at least its easier to chase as you go up though primary

Dagnabit · 11/05/2022 20:54

People can be real arseholes. I’m so glad my kids are passed this age because you’re not alone. Not to this extent but we had people not reply and turn up or accept and not turn up or do neither. Fuckers. Hope your son has a lovely birthday 🥳

ClinkeyMonkey · 11/05/2022 20:57

This happened when DS1 had a party at some climbing walls a few years ago, which cost a bloody fortune and the numbers needed to be confirmed a few days ahead. I sent a politely worded note into school with DS, addressed to those who hadn't replied (it was too many to ignore) and explained I just needed to know final numbers. A couple weren't intending to come, but the rest apologised and said they had either forgotten or not checked their child's bag. It's awful for the poor birthday child wondering if anyone will come to their party. An 'RSVP by' date is definitely a good idea. Even then, though, some people don't bother their arses replying. I think a lot of people don't know what RSVP means.

Katya213 · 11/05/2022 21:06

EarringsandLipstick · 11/05/2022 19:05

It's so odd you are still sending paper invites! For kids' parties my way, a WhatsApp group is created & guests' parents added. Everyone replies immediately.

An update like this would be via a further message.

It's terribly rude - do you have any numbers?

Odd? Paper invites? Not everybody wants to do things through their phone, there’s nothing odd about it.

Darbs76 · 11/05/2022 21:07

This was one of the things that bugged me the most about kids parties. Tell your child to remind the kids to ask their parent when he’s at school with them. Some kids forget to check book bags