I am oldest or 5. Dm had me and db when she was really young and neither of us had our dads around. My mum was a skint single mum and obviously couldn't afford to save much. My grandparents were in their very early 50's at the time, in full time work and they opened savings accounts for us knowing my mother couldn't afford it. When me and DB reached 18 we had maybe 2 grand each. But we didn't get it all in one hit. I was grateful, my grandparents didn't have to do this at all and I appreciated it so much. It helped out with a few things and furniture when I rented my first place at 18.
anyway, my mum re married and had 3 more kids in her thirties. Much more stable position with a husband. Me and db were teens + by this point and my grandparents were pretty much retiring age and I believe they said that they couldn't afford to save as much for the younger 3, so apparently they always said that they wouldn't get quite as much but would get something, never nothing. My grandparents also helped out with other things too for my mum, stepdad and my younger siblings. Paying for days out, computers, holidays, school trips etc as my mum/stepdad were and still are terrible with money. My younger siblings never went without, in fact probably had more opportunities than me and db did.
so it's come to the time my younger siblings will have access to their savings account. My mum is furious they've got less than me and db did as it's not fair according to her. This doesn't sound like me problem until my dm has directed her annoyance at me - like it's my bloody fault!! This is not my fault. My grandpa sadly died not too long ago and isn't here to talk about it. He wound have never of intentionally hurt anyone. He was a very generous man.
there's a few factors here
- my grandparents age meant they had less money by the time siblings were born. They couldn't afford to save so much.
- They helped them out financially otherwise paying for other things. They bought siblings a computer each at one point amongst lots of other things. So rather than putting money into a savings account they had a computer each etc.
- she was a single mum to me and db when we were but my siblings have a dad. A dad who actually owned a house but sold it to move in with my mum into her rented house.after the mortgage was paid he was left with £100,000. My stepdad could have put some away for his kids but did not and they just spent it all on crap - my mum included so not putting the blame fully on stepdad. They just had holidays with the money to be honest. My grandpa probably assumed that their dad would have put some of his house sale money away for them. Me and db did not have a dad to provide for us, my grandparents felt like they were looking after us I think.
aibu to think this not my fault? A few times dm had directed her anger at me saying well you had more money!! Like it's my fault. I've never told my younger siblings I got more or anything daft like that, would have no reason too. I wouldn't have known how much they got if she hadn't of told me. It had never really crossed my mind til she mentioned it.
On another note, my grandma - who hopefully has many more years left in her yet has shown me her will and the house sale will be split totally equal. It's just the savings accounts that were not exactly the same due to varying amounts of money over the years! My siblings still have some money from them just not quite as much as me and db did. My grandpa was working throughout my childhood until I was about 17. Maybe he didn't anticipate that my mum was going to re marry and have more kids when he was retiring.
there are no other grandchildren. My mums brother does not have children.