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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too far for 4 year old to walk?

123 replies

Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:10

Sorry, this is so mundane. Feel free to just do the poll if you don't want to reply (it's super boring!)

My 4 year old goes to a club after school (the club requires the kids to be quite active). She will be 5 in a few months.

It's a 25 minute walk from our house (and of course 25 minutes back). I'm trying to get at least 10,000 steps in a day to help with losing baby weight and this seems like a good opportunity to get my steps in.

I have a baby who will be in the pram, so can't stick my 4 year old in a buggy or anything like that. I tried the 'ride on' attachment before, and it really hurt my back as I don't have arms like Inspector Gadget. DD would just have to walk alongside me. The walk itself is lovely: a straight road along a long row of leafy trees. The weather where I live is currently beautiful.

I can't help but feel guilty that it's too far for a 4 year old to walk. On the other hand, we are trying to promote a healthy, active lifestyle for our kids. I would just drive if the concensus was that the walk is too long for little legs as its only 5 minutes by car.

So,
YABU: it's unfair to make a 4 year old walk for 1 hour in total
YANBU: this is fine for a 4 year old

OP posts:
Sirzy · 11/05/2022 08:12

Is the route safe for her to take a scooter or something?

otherwise lots of games like races to lamp posts and seeing who can spot things first and it will be fine

Pinklemonade1 · 11/05/2022 08:12

How is she when she does it? I think it's perfectly fine and will get her used to walking. As long as you allow for a few little rests.

AdriannaP · 11/05/2022 08:14

Will she be ok after the club? Do you have a buggy board she could stand on?
what’s the back-up plan in case she is too tired after the activity?
my 6 year old is very tired after her activities and wouldn’t fancy a 30min walk afterwards. I mean you can try but seems a bit ambitious to me.

Camomila · 11/05/2022 08:14

Has she got a scooter? The DC who do the longer walks to our primary school tend to all come by scooter/bike.

EsmeeMerlin · 11/05/2022 08:14

I think it's fine, my 4 year old would do it fine there but coming back after an hour of running around he would start complaining and needing breaks so I would just allow for that possibility.

LoveSpringDaffs · 11/05/2022 08:15

What's the actual distance?

Is 25 minutes at your pace or hers?

could you walk there and walk home while she's at the club to get the car? That way you get the steps, she gets half walk/half car?

randomsabreuse · 11/05/2022 08:17

Try it and see... If it's a disaster I agree with the pp to walk 1 way with her then walk back for the car, at least until she's more used to the walk plus club. But you won't know until you've tried it!

Lazypuppy · 11/05/2022 08:17

25 mins is just over a mile so distance is fine. I would fo bike or scooter though as more fun for her, i would take a dnack to eat straight after activity to give her energy for way back

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:18

Yes the route is very safe. Actually there is an old scooter in the garage but the last time she tried she couldn't get the hang of it so might look for it.

She did it last week and she asked to go on the ride along attachment (that attaches to the pram and the older child stands on) a few times but think it was just the novelty. It made the journey v awkward for me so I won't be using it again. Other than that, she had fun picking daisies and twigs as we went along and we had a nice chat. I stopped at a grassy bit to feed the baby and DD had a little play. We have been doing big walks as a family but mynhusband is always there to put her on his shoulders when she gets tired and I won't be doing that.

Breaking it up is a good idea.

OP posts:
JS87 · 11/05/2022 08:20

We used a balance bike when dS was two to cover longer distances

Honaloulou · 11/05/2022 08:20

Could you take a sling for the baby, so you can swap the four year old into the buggy if you need to?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/05/2022 08:21

Do you leave them there, or stay with them?

The advantage of doing it young is they see it as normal. Lots of 4yos will walk that distance to school or preschool out of necessity.

It does depend on timing too... does it affect meal times for instance?

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:21

Good idea about going home for the car if she seems too tired.

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 11/05/2022 08:23

Not too far at all but likely to be slow and easily distracted by diggers/tractors/cats etc soallow time.

Yerroblemom1923 · 11/05/2022 08:23

Is she still light enough for a piggyback if she does get tired? Also how much fun is this walk going to be in January with freezing wind/snow/ice/sleet etc.
I have always walked my dd to/from school in all weathers and it's not fun when all the parents in cars drive past without even thinking you might like a lift, but hey it's fresh air and we're fitter for it.

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:26

@Honaloulou my back is still weak from the pregnancy/c section and the baby is still in the flat pram. Maybe in a few months!

@Aroundtheworldin80moves no it won't affect meal times. I leave her there. I agree that it's good to get her used to the activity from a young age. I struggled with my weight as an older child/teenager and had no concept of activity as part of a healthy lifestyle and its something we want to ingrain in the kids. As it's not something I grew up with, I'm just doubting how appropriate it is for a 4 year old. My eldest child has energy to burn and this wouldn't have been a problem for him but DD likes to take things a bit more easily 😅

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 11/05/2022 08:27

Of course it is fine. She may moan a bit at first but there is no reason why she can't. Plenty of kids walk that distance to school and back every day and then walk to activities after, It really isn't that far. I thought you were going to say it was 10 miles.

InChocolateWeTrust · 11/05/2022 08:28

As long as you are reasonable about how long it might take, it should be okay. Have you got a contingency plan for if it absolutely pours with rain etc? Children might be fine on a dry day but are likely to whinge a lot if soaked, even with decent waterproofs on walking in pouring rain for half an hour is unpleasant.

If I did it with my DC a balance bike or scooter would be pretty essential.

Salamander91 · 11/05/2022 08:28

I think it would be a lot for my children when they were 4 especially after school all day and going to a physical activity but it's not unreasonable if your child is capable of it.

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:28

@Yerroblemom1923 well I guess I'm capitalising on the weather being so nice and using it as an opportunity to be active, rather than this being our long term plan. Plus the timings change after the summer holidays so we will have to drive as it will be later in the day (5-6)

OP posts:
InChocolateWeTrust · 11/05/2022 08:29

it's not fun when all the parents in cars drive past without even thinking you might like a lift

No one owes you a lift.

FourChimneys · 11/05/2022 08:29

We worked on the theory of a mile per year of their age, so four miles at four years etc.

Could you chat about how good it is to walk and maybe make a sticker chart? Work out the mileage and give her a small reward for each 10 miles.

Itwasntmeright · 11/05/2022 08:34

Of course it’s not too far. How do you think those of us who can’t drive get on?

Twilightstarbright · 11/05/2022 08:34

That’s about the distance for DS and I to walk to school. He moans a lot about walking at other times but is surprisingly ok with the school walk. I take snacks and we play colour bingo or I spy a lot.

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:35

InChocolateWeTrust · 11/05/2022 08:29

it's not fun when all the parents in cars drive past without even thinking you might like a lift

No one owes you a lift.

I also would add that I wouldn't take a child in my car without the correct carseat, as much as I would hate to see anyone walking in the cold 😬

OP posts: