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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too far for 4 year old to walk?

123 replies

Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 08:10

Sorry, this is so mundane. Feel free to just do the poll if you don't want to reply (it's super boring!)

My 4 year old goes to a club after school (the club requires the kids to be quite active). She will be 5 in a few months.

It's a 25 minute walk from our house (and of course 25 minutes back). I'm trying to get at least 10,000 steps in a day to help with losing baby weight and this seems like a good opportunity to get my steps in.

I have a baby who will be in the pram, so can't stick my 4 year old in a buggy or anything like that. I tried the 'ride on' attachment before, and it really hurt my back as I don't have arms like Inspector Gadget. DD would just have to walk alongside me. The walk itself is lovely: a straight road along a long row of leafy trees. The weather where I live is currently beautiful.

I can't help but feel guilty that it's too far for a 4 year old to walk. On the other hand, we are trying to promote a healthy, active lifestyle for our kids. I would just drive if the concensus was that the walk is too long for little legs as its only 5 minutes by car.

So,
YABU: it's unfair to make a 4 year old walk for 1 hour in total
YANBU: this is fine for a 4 year old

OP posts:
Veol · 11/05/2022 10:20

This was the distance of my son’s school run at this age. It was fine. He had to do a longer walk to a sports club and that was also fine. The more physical stuff they do, the fitter they get and the easier they find it.

Original poster
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 10:21

@Natsku I've found some pilates videos on YouTube...just haven't been able to bring myself to do them yet 😝

OP posts:
Yourinmyspot · 11/05/2022 10:22

I think she will be fine to do it. My DD walked too and from pre-school which was a similar distance/ time. She did moan and complain at times especially if she was tired, but most of the time we had no other option. She’s 10 now and a really good walker as we’ve always walked everywhere if we could.

pinkstripeycat · 11/05/2022 10:24

If you never used a car your DCs would be used to walking everywhere.
Legs are for walking after all.

Whoopsies · 11/05/2022 10:26

I don't drive so my children have always walked everywhere with me. My ds2 is now 2, nearly 3 and walks the 5km round trip to the local shops with me twice a week, it's about 10,000 steps for me. He is used to it and enjoys it! So I don't think it's too far at all.

jewishmum · 11/05/2022 10:28

The reason I voted YABU is because I have personal experience of a walk this long with my own four year old. She managed it in the beginning but after a week or so she would, on the way back from nursery, complain that her ankles were hurting and I would have to carry her. I ended up getting a Phil&Ted's for which she goes in the top, and 6mo goes in the bottom.

Squillerman · 11/05/2022 10:35

My DC’s school is a 30 min walk away at my pace, it took around 50 minutes at their pace when they were small but we walked there every morning from the younger one being three onwards in all weathers. It wasn’t always easy when they were young, I can’t lie but they managed.

RandomQuest · 11/05/2022 10:39

pinkstripeycat · 11/05/2022 10:24

If you never used a car your DCs would be used to walking everywhere.
Legs are for walking after all.

I don’t know how true this is. We live in London and we do a lot of walking. Still I know my 4YO couldn’t manage the 15 minute walk to school, full school day, walk 25 minutes to a club, an hour or so of physical activity, then 25 minutes walk home. We’ve tried. She sits on the pavement sobbing. Scooter helps a lot, we do still use the buggy board a fair bit but I know for my DD that club would probably be too much so we probably wouldn’t do it. Some kids would manage just fine though! They’re all different but I don’t think it’s necessarily true that no car = brilliant walker. Or maybe mine is an outlying lazy bum (highly possible) 😂OP is likely the best judge of how capable her child is of doing it!

Classicblunder · 11/05/2022 10:45

RandomQuest · 11/05/2022 10:39

I don’t know how true this is. We live in London and we do a lot of walking. Still I know my 4YO couldn’t manage the 15 minute walk to school, full school day, walk 25 minutes to a club, an hour or so of physical activity, then 25 minutes walk home. We’ve tried. She sits on the pavement sobbing. Scooter helps a lot, we do still use the buggy board a fair bit but I know for my DD that club would probably be too much so we probably wouldn’t do it. Some kids would manage just fine though! They’re all different but I don’t think it’s necessarily true that no car = brilliant walker. Or maybe mine is an outlying lazy bum (highly possible) 😂OP is likely the best judge of how capable her child is of doing it!

Show quote history

Ditto - we don't have a car and I just wouldn't book an after school activity 25 mins walk away. My 5 year old can totally do a 25 min walk on a Saturday morning or whatever but not after school then a physical class and then another 25 mins walk home.

He does swimming 15 mins walk away after school one night and that's ok but he often needs to be on my shoulders for some of the walk back.

Babdoc · 11/05/2022 10:46

Good grief, OP! I live in Scotland - four year olds regularly climb thousand foot (or higher) hills on lengthy hikes with their parents. It’s important to develop their legs, lungs and stamina.
My two were running up hills as toddlers - I ditched the buggy for reins when they were 16 months.
It is no wonder we have a childhood obesity crisis, when kids are ferried everywhere by car or buggy.

IvorCutler · 11/05/2022 10:46

It’s fine, I don’t drive and walk my kids to school and home every day (have done since they were 4). It’s 25 minutes each way too. Could you get your child a scooter?

feministqueen · 11/05/2022 10:48

My 4 year old can easily walk 3/4 miles without complaining so a 25 min walk should be a doddle!

We have a slightly shorter walk home from nursery than you but it is mainly uphill and he manages fine after a full day at nursery

GlisteningGoldGrasses · 11/05/2022 10:50

@RandomQuest I agree we don't drive and despite walking all their lives it still varies depending on their mood and energy levels. At 4 my DD could walk for several hours running about in the woods and on the park and walk an hour home again, but the 15 minute walk home from nursery often ended up as a piggy back ride or she'd sit crying on the pavement getting sympathy from passers by. She's 5 now and walked 5 miles plus a play on the park for an hour at the weekend, but moaned heartily on the way back. I carried the scooter she abandoned after the first mile. Get a lightweight folding scooter if you get one OP. It can really make things easier when they're in the mood to ride it but get one that folds up under the pram for when they won't as they're a pain to carry.

IvorCutler · 11/05/2022 10:52

Sorry, I’ve seen the scooter suggestion has been made many times! Buggy board is definitely a good shout too. You also need good rain gear in case you’re caught out! We walk in all weather and manage just fine.

CatSpeakForDummies · 11/05/2022 11:10

"it's not fun when all the parents in cars drive past without even thinking you might like a lift."

What a strange idea of fun. When I see people driving short distances I don't think "what fun," or "how lucky they are," I think they must either be unwell in some way, rushed or just lazy.

IMO it's not fun when you are 8 or 9 and you can't keep up with your friends, when their parents don't take you places because it's a PITA to take someone who can't walk without complaining, when you go to school camp and can't do the hill walk everyone else is doing etc.

OP, the walk is fine and would be completely normal for any child that, for example, had a dog in the house. It's also a lovely chance to chat to her. Perhaps have a plan B if it's pouring with rain, but otherwise you will be doing something nice for her now and for her future.

Sadlivingroom · 11/05/2022 11:10

We have a 25 minute walk home and my now 5yo has been doing it since September. It will get so so much easier I promise. My tips are:

  • take so many snacks with you! They will be ravenous on pick up (IME, even if there is a snack provided at the club, they are too busy playing to eat it)
-don't rush, go at her pace
  • stop at a bench half way
  • make a fun game - Christmas time is brilliant as we count Christmas trees/door wreaths! You could play the rainbow car game, or I spy, anything really
  • stick with it! I'm so glad I did as now my 5yo walks miles and her sleeping and eating is so much better too.
TheTeddyBears · 11/05/2022 11:17

I think that's distance is fine for her age. Assume that's maybe about 1mile maybe a bit less.

tuliplover · 11/05/2022 12:33

Most kids seem to have scooters. I think the distance is fine but do not agree with @FourChimneys - four miles at a good pace (not a four year old pace) is an hour and I don't know many kids who would do that!
But I agree it will take time, so don't expect it to be a good walking 'I can use this to get fit' pace.

CornishGem1975 · 11/05/2022 12:38

My 2.5 year old would do that but he's very physical, giant toddler and needs to burn off energy. I'd say give it a go, it might be slow and frustrating through!

steppemum · 11/05/2022 12:41

lots of kids at our school walk that far too and from school (actually a bit further) as they built a new estate without a school and they all came to ours.
It was a lot, especially in bad weather, but several mums did it with younger siblings in tow, and after a while, some of the 2/3 year olds walked both distances (and they had to drop off and walk home too)

I would invest in a 3 wheel scooter. Much easier than a 2 wheel scooter and much easier to manage than a balance bike. something like this

scooter

steppemum · 11/05/2022 12:42

to not too.

bah.

UnbeatenMum · 11/05/2022 12:45

I think my children would have struggled with this after a school day and an active club at that age. Do you also walk to and from school?

Peoniesandcream · 11/05/2022 12:46

My 2.7 yo does more than this already, he just walks and walks until he's tired 😆

PiratePetespajamas · 11/05/2022 12:48

Could she use a scooter?

EatYourVegetables · 11/05/2022 12:58

Both my kids have been doing more than this distance twice a day on bikes (first balance then real) since they were 2 and a half.

Unless we want another overweight, “I can’t get my 10000 steps” generation, we have to stop sticking 4yolds in prams and jumping into cars on every occasion.