Partner annoyed she can’t invest more

[Janey1987]

Our household outgoings are about 2.5k per month.

my partner puts in 1k and I cover the other 1.5k.

She invests about £500 per month currently of her own money. However tonight she has mentioned that she’d like to start investing more and she’d like to drop her monthly ‘household outgoings’ spend to £700 to enable this.

is this reasonable?

On the face of it. No.

But your circumstances may change it like if she brings home 2k a month and your being 10k. Whose name is on the house? Do you have kids? Separately or together? How do finance for them work etc

but she is paying less than half of joint costs so just on the info, if she wants to invest more she needs to earn more

Depends if you can afford to cover the gap, and if you're able to invest to the same %.

You only mention outgoings but don't give income or how much you currently invest. It's hard to saw without the full picture.

So I take home about 3k per month. Partner 2k. Hopefully that provides some context

Not enough no. Because there’s no outgoings.

Is she suggesting you decrease your outgoings or that you would pay the rest?

Sorry not outgoings no further info on things like kids etc you could have other costs she could.

You earn 3k and put 1.5k into the joint expenses, 50% of your monthly salary. She earns 2k and puts 1k towards the joint expenses, so also 50%. You have 1.5k to spend on what you would like, and she has 1k to spend?

Seems fairly fair to me, depending on your circumstances.

Does she work part time to look after kids or something? Is there a reason why she earns less than you?

Do you have a joint mortgage?

So after her contribution to the household for rent/bills/shopping she still has £2k a month left to do what she wants with?

No, she’s taking the piss. If she wasn’t to put more in investment, she can do it out of that.

Wants

Sorry, I read wrong, ignore me!

Currently you are both paying 50% of your income into the bills so that is fair, if she drops down then it’s going to be more like 60/40 (haven’t done the maths).

If you want to base it on % then it could be argued that it’s fair.

or if you want to base it on having the same level of disposable income left after bills then you should pay more because your income is higher.

it really depends on what your relationship is like, is this long term, will you benefit her long term investments, do you have a significantly harder job with long hours versus partner having a much easier role? Etc etc. lots of factors.

in my house I pay more because I earn more and it’s about a 60/40 split but we are married and have kids and overall it all works out fair. I’ve also had past relationships where it’s just been 50/50 because our salaries were similar levels and no kids involved etc.

Well, currently, you have £1.5k after bills, and she has £1k, which is not how we split finances in my house. I wouldn't consider that fair.

However, you are both spending 50% of your income on bills, and that is how some people work it.

So I don't think either are particularly unreasonable. Does she see the investment as a joint thing?

Who owns the house?
Do you have children that she has looked after at the detriment of her own career?
Has she moved to facilitate your career at the expense of her own?
How long have you been together?
Any plans for marriage/civil partnership?

As a starting point I would split contribution to household bills proportionately to income. So for every £1000 she puts in £400 and you put in £600 (can't work out the exact maths it's late).

Is this investment for her pension pot? In which case I would try and make it so you both are paying the same proportion of your income into your pension.

It can get complicated and may involve a spreadsheet but it's best to sort it sooner rather than later.

As just partners with no children?

No she doesn't get to make this decision and I would reject the request

It is not a family unit where spending money should be equal. At present you could still separate and you don't want your money going to her to spend post you.

It matters more about how long you've been together. If you have kids together. If you own a house together, or rent, or only one of you is on the mortgage. What the investments are for.

It would be a fair set up for a couple that is fairly new into living together, but not for one that has kids and is a family unit.

What's she investing in?

What does she do with the other £500 she doesn’t currently invest?

How long have you been together and do you have children together? Are you renting or just one of you own the property?

@Chaoslatte Presumably she needs some money to spend throughout the month. The money she puts into the joint account is only for bills.

@HollowTalk I assumed the £2.5k for bills included food, car expenses etc so the £500 would be discretionary spending which is quite a lot per month. It’s not clear from OP’s posts if she’s planning on investing this amount as well (so total £1.3k) or just the extra £300 from the bills. If it is just discretionary spending and she wants to keep that the same but pay less towards the bills then that would be much more unreasonable than if she is spending it on petrol or children’s shoes or something.

It depends on if there are shared children and how much you get to invest.

So she basically wants you to subsidize her investments with obviously you not benefiting in any way, I would tell her she needs to earn more if she wants to invest more, that is money you could be investing for your self

No chance. You’re not even married, she would walk away with all the cash.

I assume there are no kids? That would change things.

What sort of investing?
The gambling type?