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Artificial garden lawns - what a weird world

726 replies

Figmentofmyimagination · 10/05/2022 21:41

Another installed on our street. I just don’t understand it. Why would anyone do this?

There is a petition to ban their sale for installation in residential dwellings if you want to sign it:

It’s only got 5,900 signatures so far, which seems a pretty low number, given how much of a no brainer this is, imo. Maybe that’s just me.

petition deleted by MNHQ as we don't allow them, we're afraid.

OP posts:
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7
Shamoo · 10/05/2022 22:51

Amused by the ridiculous sweeping generalisations on here by people who are too lazy to fully understand the options but happy to be deeply rude and offensive to others anyway.

There are huge varieties of artificial grass - expensive ones absolutely do not look shit. They don’t smell if looked after properly. They don’t flood if decent and laid properly in the right area. They can last for very long periods. The people making sweeping generalisations must only know people with shit artificial grass, people who are dirty, or people who have made very poor choices.

One area of our garden is small. We have artificial grass as the soil there does not allow for grass to grow properly. As evidenced by our neighbours on both sides who just had dead lawn and weeds where they should have grass. We could have to all paved I guess, but that would look stark and also be rubbish for our dog and child.

We also have a wild flower roof garden, a moss garden at the side of the house, borders full of a rich variety of plants, a beautiful big cherry tree, bird feeders, bee houses, pots with a variety of plants and much more. We part own a shared grass garden too. I’m pretty comfortable that our small piece of artificial grass in that context doesn’t make us chavs/idiots/disgusting/earth destroyers etc etc. The many snails, spiders, worms, slugs, bees and birds that share the space with us seem pretty content too.

Good to know there are all these eco friendly people though who don’t have artificial grass and presumably also only have one child (or ideally none), no pets, no car, have never had a helium balloon, don’t drink soft drinks from plastic bottles with virgin PET, didn’t use disposable nappies, always wear a mooncup etc etc etc - in reality of course we all have a responsibility to make informed and balanced choices to limit our negative ecological impact as best as we reasonably can for our own circumstances.

TheKeatingFive · 10/05/2022 22:51

That doesn't make plastic lawns any less shitty.

there really isn't any need to be so rude about other people's choices.

I'm sure we could all pick holes in yours if we were so minded.

For some it's a reasonable option. Just to be clear though, I don't have it myself. My postage stamp garden is paved, which is no better for wildlife, but not something we can afford to do anything about.

DdraigGoch · 10/05/2022 22:51

Twizbe · 10/05/2022 22:39

@DdraigGoch we have many refill shops near us and I went into them when they opened.

First I could only do a fraction of my weekly shop there

Second everything was at least twice if not 3 times the price. To fill up my £1 bottle of shower gel would cost me £4.... that's not doable in a family budget. They are very much DINK shops round here.

I've just looked and a soap or shampoo bar costs £3.25. They last ages.

For other goods, I'm sure that the money you'll spend on replacing astroturf every ten years will make up the difference. It's really a question of choices and priorities.

catsonahottinroof · 10/05/2022 22:52

I can't understand it either - if you didn't want grass why not have a rockery, or paving with plants etc? There is one on our road, but with real borders with real brightly coloured flowers round the edge, it looks very strange and cartoonish.

SkerryVore · 10/05/2022 22:52

Some friends had plastic grass briefly, following a house move and a rushed decision. It was a bit of a disaster with various things - drainage for them, drainage issues for the next door neighbours, not able to have sprinklers for the kids in summer and so on.

I'm not a fan for all the reasons already mentioned.

Menora · 10/05/2022 22:52

My grass is so horrible it’s an eyesore. I spent last year trying to fix it. I can see why people end up with artificial. I have a serious weed infestation and bald patches. It is not a nice place to sit now the thistles have taken hold. And I can’t use chemicals as I have pets. I’m not against it - people pave over their entire garden too you know! but I wouldn’t pay for it

Steamedhams · 10/05/2022 22:55

Greensleeves · 10/05/2022 22:45

So your plan is to put plastic grass down and then let the dog piss all over it on a regular basis?! That's incredibly disgusting.

I don't see how it is any different to her pissing on real grass? The stuff I have seen has sand underneath for drainage. It isn't like it just sits on the surface.

Lockheart · 10/05/2022 22:55

TheKeatingFive · 10/05/2022 22:51

That doesn't make plastic lawns any less shitty.

there really isn't any need to be so rude about other people's choices.

I'm sure we could all pick holes in yours if we were so minded.

For some it's a reasonable option. Just to be clear though, I don't have it myself. My postage stamp garden is paved, which is no better for wildlife, but not something we can afford to do anything about.

They are shitty for wildlife and the environment. Shitty, bad, negative, atrocious, detrimental, destructive, deleterious... you can change the word to whatever you want but it's not going to change the fact they're awful ecologically.

I'm sure I'm not perfect. But this thread is about artificial lawns, so that's what we're discussing. And they're still a shitty choice.

Change123today · 10/05/2022 22:55

I’m not a fan but it’s peoples own choice.

i have a friend whose removed it as the plans to think it would be better - even though she had it laid properly & cleaned it - the smell from the dog wee in the summer was awful. & she felt bad to using as much chemicals to get rid of the smell could hurt the children & dog.

our neighbours chuffed to have theirs… except we have small south face gardens & it’s just to hot for her daughter to play on it :(

With our little garden, which at times looks like a mud pit (bloomin dog) but I don’t have to worry about smells or burnt feet! The maintenance of fake grass doesn’t seem any less than mowing it occasionally.

LunaMcCluskeyShoe · 10/05/2022 22:56

We have it and love it. And yes, I did the whole reusable nappies, I used reusable bags since university in the early 90s, including veg bags which raised an eyebrow or two by people on the tills, I recycle everything I can, squeeze out every last bit of toothpaste etc. I am trying my best. But I need a practical garden. I cannot have a clover lawn. It isn't just for looking at but for using.

I also am disabled, I could not afford to keep paying a gardener once we moved to a larger house so that Dh could work from home and be available for the children when I am incapacitated. My garden is north facing, it was mud from two children playing football and peddling tractors round it. It is surrounded by mature borders and now the ants that used to terrify my children stick to the borders and not the grass. But the birds love it, they sunbathe on the grass every day. I also have 2 other gardens which are trees/shrubs and then left wild.

The vitriol displayed toward us on this thread is laughable. There are some very pious people out there. It was a practical solution for us. It has been down for years, no more muddy children traipsing mud into the house (can't clean on days I am very ill) no more grass stains, it dries incredibly quickly after rain and I never said I was trying to fool people into thinking it is real. The real one was the muddy patchy one. I don't think they make an artificial lawn like that. I have never hoovered it, brushed the leaves off it yes but never hoovered it.

PraiseBee · 10/05/2022 22:56

PumpkinsandKittens · 10/05/2022 22:49

Because I would rather them use the litter tray than the garden?! 🙄

You're a cat owner with a litter tray?! Well strike me down

Trixiefirecracker · 10/05/2022 22:58

What happens when cats and dogs shit and piss on it?

PumpkinsandKittens · 10/05/2022 23:00

PraiseBee · 10/05/2022 22:56

You're a cat owner with a litter tray?! Well strike me down

Yeh sorry to disappoint but no I don’t expect my cats to shit in the neighbours garden, I won’t risk my kids stepping in it, and we also have other cats that visit our garden so I’m not going to create a giant cat toilet for them, my daughter got a sand pit and I had to get rid of it as despite having lid if she forgot to put it on the cats would jump straight in it

PumpkinsandKittens · 10/05/2022 23:00

Trixiefirecracker · 10/05/2022 22:58

What happens when cats and dogs shit and piss on it?

Cats won’t

PraiseBee · 10/05/2022 23:01

PumpkinsandKittens · 10/05/2022 23:00

Yeh sorry to disappoint but no I don’t expect my cats to shit in the neighbours garden, I won’t risk my kids stepping in it, and we also have other cats that visit our garden so I’m not going to create a giant cat toilet for them, my daughter got a sand pit and I had to get rid of it as despite having lid if she forgot to put it on the cats would jump straight in it

Not a disappointment, a delight for sure.

Sae123 · 10/05/2022 23:02

What's a sex pond please?

Hugasauras · 10/05/2022 23:03

Sae123 · 10/05/2022 23:02

What's a sex pond please?

Hot tub!

chisanunian · 10/05/2022 23:03

An outdoor space filled with plastic grass, furniture, fairy lights and barbecue equipment may be many things, but a garden it ain't.

TheKeatingFive · 10/05/2022 23:04

They are shitty for wildlife and the environment. Shitty, bad, negative, atrocious, detrimental, destructive, deleterious... you can change the word to whatever you want but it's not going to change the fact they're awful ecologically.

My garden is 20 sq.m. Its a tiny space. The impact ecologically of what it's covered in is infinitesimal.

On the upside, many on our road (some of whom do have fake grass) don't own cars. I could bang on about how shitty, destructive they are too, but I understand that people have different set ups to me, so that would simply be rude.

Wintersgirl · 10/05/2022 23:04

Hugasauras · 10/05/2022 22:41

The man over the road hoovers his every so often, which does amuse me Grin

I bet it looks like he's lost the plot!

AngelinaFangelina · 10/05/2022 23:04

Change123today · 10/05/2022 22:55

I’m not a fan but it’s peoples own choice.

i have a friend whose removed it as the plans to think it would be better - even though she had it laid properly & cleaned it - the smell from the dog wee in the summer was awful. & she felt bad to using as much chemicals to get rid of the smell could hurt the children & dog.

our neighbours chuffed to have theirs… except we have small south face gardens & it’s just to hot for her daughter to play on it :(

With our little garden, which at times looks like a mud pit (bloomin dog) but I don’t have to worry about smells or burnt feet! The maintenance of fake grass doesn’t seem any less than mowing it occasionally.

My friend had a similar situation with hers and removed it. It was professionally fitted and she kept up with cleaning but it smelled awful, especially in the hot summer weather. She has three dogs and the pissy stench 🤮 was worse than mucking out my horses stable. Nothing she did seemed to make much difference. It was an expensive wrong decision with pets! It was also a bad colour choice and seemed a bit...neon?
Personally I think they are awful, something we will look back on and cringe (like watching Changing Rooms from the 90s now). However each to their own, I'm sure many wouldn't like my choices of decor/planting!

Duchess379 · 10/05/2022 23:06

There is some really 'holier than thou" attitudes on here. I had artificial grass put in for several reasons. My garden is based on clay so drainage is rubbish. When it rained it turned into a paddling pool, then a mud bath. No-one could use it. So we had it dug up, drainage baskets put in then artificial grass. I'm also disabled so struggle with mowing a lawn. It's easier to clean up after my dogs (you try picking up poo that's been floating in rain water)
You don't like it? I don't care. Don't come & judge me on my choices. I don't have kids so I have no off spring to contaminate the planet further. 🤷🏼‍♀️

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 10/05/2022 23:09

TheKeatingFive · 10/05/2022 22:27

I've just looked up a range of articles about the worst things you can do for the environment and it hasn't gotten a mention once.

Oh well that's ok then Hmm

As for those saying they don't smell, you must've gone nose blind 😆

TheKeatingFive · 10/05/2022 23:11

Oh well that's ok then

The ire is not proportionate to the impact

Sae123 · 10/05/2022 23:12

Thanks! Urghhh!