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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Woken up from a daytime sleep

30 replies

xxcatcatcatxx · 09/05/2022 15:54

New parents, obviously sleep deprived.

Fell asleep when baby napped at about 11am and DP came home from work in meantime and took the little one. Came in at 3pm shouting at me that I need to wake up. We didn’t have anything planned today, I feel so upset.

AIBU? I’d never wake anyone up from a sleep unless they’d asked but maybe that’s just me or am I being selfish 🥺 TIA xxx

OP posts:
Ohmych · 09/05/2022 15:58

That's not on at all. I would be furious to be woken up for no reason. He didn't want to be left alone with the baby I expect.

MolliciousIntent · 09/05/2022 15:59

What was his reasoning, is baby breastfed?

ElegantlyTouched · 09/05/2022 15:59

Not nice to be woken but when did dp come in and how long had he been working for?

LetTheBirdsSing · 09/05/2022 16:00

He definitely shouldn’t have woken you up by shouting but I don’t think it would have been unreasonable to have woken you up nicely after you’d been asleep for four hours.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 09/05/2022 16:06

He shouldn't have shouted. But waking you after four hours nap to ask you to help out with the baby is completely reasonable. Unless the baby was asleep and he was waking you for absolutely no reason at all. If your partner had taken the baby right after work to let you rest some more, it's completely reasonable for him to wake you after four hours, so he can get a break, too.

Hugasauras · 09/05/2022 16:07

Why was he shouting? Four hours is a pretty good nap though! I remember four solid hours when I had a newborn feeling like a 16-hour sleep Grin

almondbran · 09/05/2022 16:07

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wake you after a 4 hour sleep

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/05/2022 16:10

Had they tried to wake you for a while and resorted to shouting?

Why did they say you should wake up?

gamerchick · 09/05/2022 16:10

I'd want to be woken after 4 hours or I'd be like Marley's ghost that night Grin I wouldn't like to be shouted at though. Why did he do that?

Original poster
xxcatcatcatxx · 09/05/2022 16:17

@MolliciousIntent No he’s a FF baby 🥰

Thanks guys, woke up a bit and had a little cuddle with baby-chan. Maybe I was being a bit unreasonable then. Not very good at waking up when I’m super exhausted but guess the days of uninterrupted day time sleeping is behind me💕 xxx

OP posts:
Discovereads · 09/05/2022 16:17

What sort of shifts does he work that he is home at 11am?

If he’s a nurse/doctor/paramedic who has just done a12hr shift from 10pm to 10am, then of course it was reasonable for him to wake you up at 3pm. He would have been up all night and probably has to get back to work in 7hrs so will need his sleep too.

If he’s a milkman and has worked from say 5am to 11am, then no, he was being unreasonable and should have left you to sleep.

KatherineJaneway · 09/05/2022 16:31

Did he want to go to bed himself?

HairyScaryMonster · 09/05/2022 16:34

He shouldn't have been shouting. Was he worried you wouldn't sleep tonight or simply decided you'd slept too long for no particular reason?

Poptart4 · 09/05/2022 16:35

He shouldn't have woken you up by shouting but a 4 hour nap is a long time.

YABU

10HailMarys · 09/05/2022 16:35

I'm a bit confused about the timing here. You went to sleep at 11am, when your partner got in from work? So presumably he's worked a night shift or a semi-night shift or something? You were then asleep for four hours, at which point he woke you up? To be honest, if he's got in from work at 11am having been working during the night or since the very early hours of the morning, I can see why he'd feel it was probably your turn to take over again after he'd done four hours with the baby on top of that.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 09/05/2022 16:38

What do you mean that the days of uninterrupted daytime sleeping are behind you?
How often did you sleep for hours during the day before having a child? Did you work shifts or are you ill?

You've got a kid now. You cant sleep for hours during the day. Your partner came home from work after night/early shift, took baby for 4 hours and really... it was your turn to be on parenting watch.

Original poster
xxcatcatcatxx · 09/05/2022 17:41

Oh forgot to mention that bit, he’s self employed so just had a short day today💕 Not sure why he didn’t join in on the sleep 😬xxx

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 09/05/2022 17:43

You said he took the little one so baby woke up and he took him and left you sleeping? How long for?

Shouting as in being loud to wake up up so you sleep tonight or shouting as in "you're so lazy, wake up and look after your kid"?

SleepingStandingUp · 09/05/2022 17:45

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 09/05/2022 16:38

What do you mean that the days of uninterrupted daytime sleeping are behind you?
How often did you sleep for hours during the day before having a child? Did you work shifts or are you ill?

You've got a kid now. You cant sleep for hours during the day. Your partner came home from work after night/early shift, took baby for 4 hours and really... it was your turn to be on parenting watch.

Tbf we don't know if he came in at 11.30 having been in work since 5 am or in at 2.30 having been in work since 10

Cinnabomb · 09/05/2022 17:53

Personally I think a 4 hour day time sleep is way past ‘nap’ territory and more than anyone could expect, so I think YABU.

Cinnabomb · 09/05/2022 17:54

The only caveat to this would be depending on how old the baby is, if you’ve literally just given birth and need to recover then would be completely fair enough.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 09/05/2022 17:55

How long were you asleep for?

I don't think he's hugely unreasonable to wake you up after a decent chunk of sleep, tbh. Maybe he'd been trying to wake you for a while and that's why he shouted?

Quartz2208 · 09/05/2022 17:55

4 hours is the max though surely and be able to sleep

How long did you daytime sleep before

HSKAT · 09/05/2022 17:59

Yeah 4 hour nap is long.

But my question, how old is your baby? I was assuming newborn with saying new parents but then being able to nap for 4 hours made me want to question.

thinkfast · 09/05/2022 18:06

I was totally exhausted with my 2 when they were babies. Neither of them were good sleepers at night. Sometimes, even when they did sleep, I was so anxious about lack of sleep and my sleep was so disupted I couldn't fall asleep.
I don't think it's on to wake you up shouting, unless your help was required urgently. Lack of sleep can be torture. Couldn't he have woken you a bit more calmly?