Worst interview ever...I need to leave the country, don't I?

[minou123]

Just had an interview it was, without fail, the worst, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.

One minute I was rambling, next minute I couldn't speak.
I was over enthused about the greatness of 'action plans'. To my shame, i even said I have action plans to clean my house 🙄

I cant remember the rest, I think my brain is trying to protect me from the shame I have brought upon myself.

I need to leave the country, don't I? The thought of ever bumping into the interview panel is filling me with fear.
Albu?

Yes. We all have them sometimes 😃

hahaha! this was back in the late 90s/early 00s now

😆

I am still smarting from an interview for a job at TKMaxx.

Interviewer asked for two words my friends would use to describe me.

I said: "Off the wall."

My 14 yr old son said: "Firstly, that was three words and secondly, you haven't got the job."

The interviewer actually rang with feedback to say that the best thing about me was my availability and she wasn't going to offer me the job.

I had an interview while I was on maternity leave, I didn’t understand the questions and would pick a word that I recognised and just start talking. I remember having an out of body experience where i could hear myself continuing to talk while i also wondered how I could wrap it up and stop when I didn’t know what the question was in the first place.

It was over 15 years ago and it’s not quite so excruciatingly embarrassing now 😂

I once had an interview for a job (in healthcare) and the sentence 'President Mugabe is a bad man' left my lips and I still to this day have no idea how my brain took me there. It was 21 years ago.

I'm never sure if I 'borrowed' the slogan from a Vans rucksack on display on the through the shop to the interview room.

Off the fucking wall...I despair.

At an interview a good few years ago, the interviewer asked me how flexible I was.
I replied ' well, if you asked me to do a backflip followed by the splits, I'd struggle.....unless I'd sunk the vodka, then it comes naturally ' followed by a honking laugh.
I got the job!
So all is not lost OP.
( I still cringe now at my inane reply )

What a fun thread. Had an interview once and saw that my chair was at an odd angle to the desk so I turned it square on. The woman leading the panel said ' Oh very good . There's another thing you can do to help yourself in interviews. Are you doing it now?' What , says I . ' Thinking of us naked '. I'm a bloke so this rather surprised me but she was quite serious! The rest was a bit of a blur but I did get the job. Never mind OP .You know HR stands for Human Remains anyway...

What will you do if they offer you the job?

In that case, take solace in the fact you're not the only one this has happened to!

Secretly everyone in the interview wants a copy of your cleaning action plan! I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you fear.

You'll get the job!

As a newly qualified accountant I had a total mind blank when the interviewer asked for the double entry bookkeeping for recognising revenue. I just couldn't do it and sat there like an idiot.
In hindsight he was a horrible, odious little man and everyone I had interacted with at the Company - reception, HR etc were equally horrible so definitely some self sabotaging behaviour there! I still die inside a little bit when I think about it and worry that something similar would happen in a job I actually wanted!

My mate interviewed someone who tripped walking into the room and landed prostrate at her feet! I would have died on the carpet from shame, she gave a good interview and got the job!
It may not be as bad as you think.

Oh I had one of those! You are not alone! I completely self-sabotaged and said pretty much the exact opposite of what I knew the panel wanted to hear, through pure nerves. I went on to get the next job I applied for, over 10 other applicants — it’s amazing what nerves can do to us! But chin up OP, it wasn’t the me, and it wasn’t the real you either!
Every now and then though I google the interview panel to see if they have died and I am free of witnesses yet to see what they’re up to and ensure I don’t bump into them professionally if I can help it!!

In the very highly unlikely event they offer me a job, I will think they got the interviewees mixed up😂

It's ok, I've accepted I've fucked this one, but onwards and upwards.

You know when you do something excruciatingly embarrassing, years later you randomly think of it and do that shiver......any tips on how to stop this?

My dad, a teacher, once had a student retort "no, it can't get through the concrete". You could have used that

I wouldn't worry too much, most interviewers are decent human beings and get that people have human moments too. I've interviewed a fair few people and we can genuinely tell the difference between the grade a bellends and the people who are just nervous and struggling. It's the former we tell incredulous stories about.

I once interviewed a guy who so clearly thought I was thick when I asked him to pick a different example he repeated the same answer back slower and then explained that actually the answer was fine and maybe I didn't understand the extremely simple concept? Twice. For the same question.

OP, apologies, I'm chuckling at your post. if that wasn't you speaking on your interview, you probably decided you didn't want the job so brain sabotaged the interview.

Chalk it up, now go find the job you really want!

Name changed for this.
I was interviewing for an assistant psychologist post. The interviewer asked the #1 question they ALWAYS ask for these posts: “How have you applied psychology in your previous role?” (in my case as a teacher).
The correct answer would have been something about supporting their learning or emotional wellbeing.
Unfortunately aaallllll my psychology immediately flew out of my head and I had a total brain blank except for the very first psychology theory I ever learnt about: Pavlov’s dogs.
So I said that I used classical conditioning on the children to get them to line up straight when they heard the dinner bell 🙈🙈
Anyone who’s a psychologist will know what a terrible answer that is!!

Fortunately I did much better at my next interview and amazingly did eventually become a psychologist 😂

I once got a job where two of my answers were ‘I don’t know’ and literally nothing else 😆 So you never know.

In the very highly unlikely event they offer me a job, I will think they got the interviewees mixed up😂

Many years ago I worked in a pub where the pub manager managed to do exactly that, mixing up a James and a John (totally different surnames). We ended up with an incredibly shy bartender in a busy city centre student pub where being assertive to the point of being slightly brash was a necessity. He ended up keeping the shy one and going back for the applicant he actually wanted in addition 😂

Oh god, I love doing interviews because it has made me realize however bad I think mine are, there are much worse out there🤣 I did an interview recently where the applicant basically used it as a forum to complain about her current workplace. And threw in a few cliched derogatory comments about patient groups as well🤦‍♀️

My fear of interviews amongst other things meant I stayed in my last job probably 5 years too long. I’ve had a few interviews since and have got every job I’ve gone for. That’s not saying much though, I’m a nurse and all you really need is a pulse and your registration🤣🤣 My last interview was for a reluctant promotion and despite being the only applicant for an internal position, I was so nervous I just rambled and my mind went blank for one question in particular🤦‍♀️ It’s always worse when it’s internal and you have to face these people again😃