Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being your ‘authentic self’

51 replies

NutellaEllaElla · 09/05/2022 10:02

I’m hearing more and more of this of late. “It’s who I am/ who he is”, often in relation to very poor behaviour. Is it just me or is this a bit of a fuck you? A statement of “I’m not willing to consider other people, I’m not going to change, you can put up and shut up”. I am all for being a more accepting society but is it creeping out into entitlement?

OP posts:
Suzi9989 · 09/05/2022 10:11

"It is what it is"

Totally agree with you OP. And we wonder why more and more people now keep to themselves.

Notjustanymum · 09/05/2022 14:07

It’s shorthand for “ I don’t want to be part of Society - rules are for everyone else“!

TheGrumpiest · 09/05/2022 14:15

Yes, and see also "my life, my rules".... Really?? 😫

Saw a lot of this type of talk during the lockdowns to justify all kinds of stuff....

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/05/2022 14:18

I've never heard it used in that context (ie bad behaviour) but I have seen it used to encourage personal expression. So instead of dressing in muted, plain clothing for work, wearing something more personal or jazzy. Instead of having a natural hair colour, dying it rainbow or stripy or bright colours or something.

Basically having an outward expression of who you feel you are as a person rather than dressing or looking like how society has deemed appropriate.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/05/2022 14:19

Sorry, also see people who are sick of the "9-5 grind" and go off exploring or something.

MardyOldGoth · 09/05/2022 14:20

I'm still not entirely sure what it means tbh.

undermilkjug · 09/05/2022 14:21

IME anyone who talks about their "authentic self" is an insufferable narcissist.

autienotnaughty · 09/05/2022 14:21

It should be about being yourself not others expectation of you. But is no excuse for rudeness or laziness. My dsis uses it as an excuse to talk badly to people then say "I'm being honest' you can be yourself and not be a dick. Unless of course your unfortunate that your true self is a dick 😂

PowerfulWombSpaceRespector · 09/05/2022 14:22

It's the follow up to "I just say it like I see it" who you know is exactly the type of person to see their own arse if you were to be upset by their bloody minded rude behaviour.

CanofCant · 09/05/2022 14:22

NutellaEllaElla · 09/05/2022 10:02

I’m hearing more and more of this of late. “It’s who I am/ who he is”, often in relation to very poor behaviour. Is it just me or is this a bit of a fuck you? A statement of “I’m not willing to consider other people, I’m not going to change, you can put up and shut up”. I am all for being a more accepting society but is it creeping out into entitlement?

Yes, but God forbid they should be treated that way in return.

bellinisurge · 09/05/2022 14:24

My authentic self would tell people to go fuck themselves most days. I don't think I should be my authentic self very often.

Chouetted · 09/05/2022 14:24

Isn't this usually used for behaviour which can be percieved as rude but serves a purpose?

I might apply it to someone who is very blunt (but says things that need to be said), or someone who is a bit untidy (but very creative).

Chouetted · 09/05/2022 14:28

And I've certainly had it myself, I'm terrible at performative respect, which sometimes gets interpreted as disrespect. It was once said of me that I respect nobody and disrespect nobody - which I feel makes me a pretty good person to know.

Gufo · 09/05/2022 14:34

I got told in a work review to bring my authentic self to work 🙄

thisplaceisweird · 09/05/2022 14:40

We don't have to accept people's 'authentic selves' if their authentic self is a twat though do we? Everyone can say and do as they please, it doesn't mean that people have to agree or like it.

notanothertakeaway · 09/05/2022 14:40

Are these the same people who say "I tell it like it is", or "I'm a Marmite person, people love me or hate me"? If so, I can tell you that they are rude, arrogant and most people hate them

RobertaFirmino · 09/05/2022 14:50

I'll admit that I thought your 'authentic self' meant wearing dungarees and dying your hair pink. But yeah, it's cringeworthy!

OverByYer · 09/05/2022 14:51

undermilkjug · 09/05/2022 14:21

IME anyone who talks about their "authentic self" is an insufferable narcissist.

This

Swayingpalmtrees · 09/05/2022 14:58

It has been heavily corrupted.

Authentic self, is just about being true to yourself, living by your own values etc. It is not usually over discussed with others, as it is a relationship you have with yourself.

It can also be used as window dressing for poor behaviour recently. People pretending to be 'authentic' by gluing themselves to roads, or preventing ambulances from passing. They are following their own values, but at the expense of the rest of society.

weightedblanketofshame · 09/05/2022 15:24

Agreed! Granted, there's a massive difference between changing your wardrobe/standing up for yourself/doing hobbies you might have been embarrassed about before and being an unapologetic twat who thinks the world revolves around them, but only the latter say shit like "I'm just being my authentic self" 🤢

jellybeansandthings · 09/05/2022 16:29

It's one of those expressions that when I hear it voiced out loud it makes me cringe slightly , yet if I see someone acting out what I perceive as the sentiment behind the phrase, but not needing to voice it, then I might admire them.

Mumoblue · 09/05/2022 16:32

That kind of bullshittery has always been about, it’s just being dressed up in new language. It’s always been “that’s how it is” or “you know how [x]” is.

Fairyliz · 09/05/2022 16:33

bellinisurge · 09/05/2022 14:24

My authentic self would tell people to go fuck themselves most days. I don't think I should be my authentic self very often.

@bellinisurge

Are we twins?😁

Soontobe60 · 09/05/2022 16:36

bellinisurge · 09/05/2022 14:24

My authentic self would tell people to go fuck themselves most days. I don't think I should be my authentic self very often.

I’m with you on this!

Itwasntmeright · 09/05/2022 16:51

It’s usually uttered by self absorbed knobers who are demanding something from you in order to be there own authentic self absorbed knober self.