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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I limited DD's future with an unusual name?

198 replies

whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 22:58

DD9 is called Raya. Her elder brothers both have traditional, biblical names and that was the plan for her, but DF died just before she was born and she ended up with a "tribute" name, which I also thought was lovely. Hormones.

She likes her name and no issues at school apart from the millions of other names ending with "aya" and "iya", but I have had a sense of dread that she'll be denied job opportunities or friendships because she's being as a chav - or at least someone of a lower class. What if everyone hiring is a Millie or a Hugo and they see Raya on her CV.

Of course there's not much we can do now apart from steer her to use her traditional middle name??

YABU - she's fine! No problem!
YANBU - uh oh ....

OP posts:
spotcheck · 08/05/2022 23:46

but I have had a sense of dread that she'll be denied job opportunities or friendships because she's being as a chav - or at least someone of a lower class

🤦‍♀️dear god.
What century is this?

Gagaandgag · 08/05/2022 23:46

I like it!
-glad she does too

HaveringWavering · 08/05/2022 23:48

It means stripe or line in Spanish, so she might get the odd double take if she travels in the Hispanic world, but sure it’s no big deal. It’s quite a pretty name. If you’re worried about it being “Ray” with an “a” on the end, that approach doesn’t seem to have done Nigella Lawson any harm! (And she is definitely in the Millie and Hugo social strata).

bridgetreilly · 08/05/2022 23:50

You are being silly. Her generation is full of kids with crazy names. No one will blink at Raya.

Dontcallmemaybe19 · 08/05/2022 23:51

It’s a gorgeous name

TheWayoftheLeaf · 08/05/2022 23:54

It sounds pretty normal. Maybe Spanish or something but a pretty, normal girls name.
Not bizarre or anything. Nobody will bat an eye.

Vikinga · 08/05/2022 23:56

People have a mix of names now. Raya I would have guessed is an Indian name.

There are quite a few hugos, monty etc where I live and it is a working class area

EthelMerman · 08/05/2022 23:57

Don’t change her name or make a thing of it with her. By now it’s part of her identity. These days people are much more relaxed about names… when she’s older, tell her she can choose what she calls herself.

And if people can’t cope with your accent, shame on them for being so classist. More and more, a wide variety of accents are being heard (as they should be) in the media.

NannyGythaOgg · 08/05/2022 23:58

There are names I would struggle with (but would still judge on the individual concerned but Raya is 100% fine

(Angel, Princess, Hero et al would make me struggle but I'm retired so no one need worry)

Simonjt · 08/05/2022 23:58

Raya is a very popular south asian name

worraliberty · 09/05/2022 00:00

spotcheck · 08/05/2022 23:46

but I have had a sense of dread that she'll be denied job opportunities or friendships because she's being as a chav - or at least someone of a lower class

🤦‍♀️dear god.
What century is this?

Exactly. Poor kid if this is how her mum is thinking.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/05/2022 00:00

Complete non issue and a nice name.

I read a study a while back about research being conducted that showed hiring decisions changed based on names being either shown or entirely redacted from CVs, with no other changes made.

Really interesting, I'll see if I can dig it out. It was depressing and surprising to me that a name makes that much difference.

Names that didn't sound of British origin fared the worst which was particularly horrible to read.

It made me think it would be better if names weren't included on CVs but now that wouldn't work as so many people are on LinkedIn and have a social presence that people want to check out before hiring them.

It was probably around 10 years ago so I wonder if much has changed.

GetThatHelmetOn · 09/05/2022 00:04

I have an unusual name, I think it has helped me progress in my career no end. Everybody remembers it, I was never confused with anyone else. Having said thar, the unusual name on its own wouldn’t have helped or hinder my progress, it was just a label attached to the good work I was doing.

groovergirl · 09/05/2022 00:06

Raya is elegant and chic. I thought "Indian" but I've looked it up and it's also a name in Arabic, Hebrew and Slavic languages. Yet it works well in English too. You've chosen well. Little Raya's friends will be telling her "You have such a beautiful name, like a princess ...." 👑

mycatisannoying · 09/05/2022 00:07

It's really, really nice!

TinaYouFatLard · 09/05/2022 00:08

whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 23:18

Very much so!

Show quote history

Well I think your issue is there then!

Lots of us have done things or made decisions about stuff when we’re hormonal or grieving or both. Luckily in your heightened emotional state you still chose a lovely name so try not to dwell any more.

Lollabit · 09/05/2022 00:08

I think it’s really lovely and unusual in a good way.

Kanaloa · 09/05/2022 00:14

NannyGythaOgg · 08/05/2022 23:58

There are names I would struggle with (but would still judge on the individual concerned but Raya is 100% fine

(Angel, Princess, Hero et al would make me struggle but I'm retired so no one need worry)

What would you be ‘struggling’ with? What ‘struggle’ could possibly ensue from someone else having a name you dislike?

Robinni · 09/05/2022 00:14

Raya isn’t remotely chavvy. It’s very elegant and warm sounding. Also foreign.

What a wonderful time to be a Raya when Raya and the last dragon is out and you can be a heroine.

Beautiful name and she will shine through life on her own merit.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/05/2022 00:45

It’s not that bad.

If she ends up really not liking it she’s got a middle name she can switch to.

BensonStabler · 09/05/2022 00:47

I can see why your Daughter is happy with her name. 😊

It’s a beautiful name and a lovely tribute.

mjf981 · 09/05/2022 00:47

I know a very successful specialist veterinary surgeon called Raya. She is well respected and got in to one of the most competitive specialties. I don't think her name has held her back.

tuliplover · 09/05/2022 00:50

I thought it was going to be along the lines of Moon Unit or Pixie Trixabelle. Raya - I know a Rhea and a Riya, so hardly think Raya is going to stand out much. Even if it did, hardly limiting?

dalmatianmad · 09/05/2022 00:55

I work with an amazing Doctor called Raya! She's very specialised in her field.its a beautiful name.
Sorry for your loss.

Snugglepumpkin · 09/05/2022 00:56

I thought you were going to say you'd called her something like Button or Trapdoor.

Raya sounds like a perfectly regular name to me.

You know, if she really hates it, or finds she is going to marry someone with the surname Sunshine/Hope etc.., she can always change it by deed poll.

I doubt she will change it though.