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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have I limited DD's future with an unusual name?

198 replies

whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 22:58

DD9 is called Raya. Her elder brothers both have traditional, biblical names and that was the plan for her, but DF died just before she was born and she ended up with a "tribute" name, which I also thought was lovely. Hormones.

She likes her name and no issues at school apart from the millions of other names ending with "aya" and "iya", but I have had a sense of dread that she'll be denied job opportunities or friendships because she's being as a chav - or at least someone of a lower class. What if everyone hiring is a Millie or a Hugo and they see Raya on her CV.

Of course there's not much we can do now apart from steer her to use her traditional middle name??

YABU - she's fine! No problem!
YANBU - uh oh ....

OP posts:
DoYouWantDecking · 08/05/2022 23:10

If she's not had any fun out of the latest Disney Film (which is brilliant and has a kick-ass heroine) then she will be fine.
It's a lovely name.

SherbetDips · 08/05/2022 23:11

Is a lovely name.

Kanaloa · 08/05/2022 23:12

Also what nonsense about ‘what if everyone hiring is a Millie or a Hugo.’

Companies don’t hire based on your name being Millie or Hugo. If she has better experience and education than Millie she’ll get the job. Lots of Milly/Millies in my shock lower class area. Most of their mums work despite being the awful horrible working classes. They seem to have managed to find jobs ok. Rather than panic about her name sorry about instilling confidence in her so she can go out and present herself well and not be constrained by these silly class obsessions.

Original poster
whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 23:13

Thank you for all the reassurance!

@BetsyBigNose - I did this from the app and it didn't give me the option. Next time!

OP posts:
Mariposista · 08/05/2022 23:15

Raya is a lovely name.

Original poster
whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 23:18

TinaYouFatLard · 08/05/2022 23:09

Raya is a beautiful name.

You mention that it was a tribute name (assuming for Ray) and perhaps this is skewing your opinion towards naff/chav - is there an element of cringiness in your feelings?

Very much so!

OP posts:
Peanutbuttercupisyum · 08/05/2022 23:19

It’s not chavvy at all. She’ll be fine for whatever she wants. And there’s no way there’s 2 Rayas working in the same branch of Tesco’s’. That person is definitely having you on!

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 08/05/2022 23:19

It's a beautiful name.

I'm a hiring manager and I would never ever be put off by a name. Even if it was tinkerbell. 🥰

SillySallySassySausage · 08/05/2022 23:21

I like the name and I do not associate it with any "chav" connotations. I wouldn't give it another thought.

Aubrey1981 · 08/05/2022 23:22

I knew an adult and child Raya. Never thought there was anything unusual about it.

MrsEricBana · 08/05/2022 23:24

Possibly IF it was a dreadful name but it really isn't, put it out of your mind 💐

ClinkeyMonkey · 08/05/2022 23:25

I genuinely hadn't heard it before, but I think it's really beautiful. It reminded me that my mum used to have a female friend called Rae, which I always thought was pretty cool!

Keroppi · 08/05/2022 23:27

Sorry but kindly, you're being ridiculous! It's a popular Hindi/south east asian name so no idea why you would associate it with being chavvy or low class.. There's even Raya and the last dragon?! And she's 9 anyway, why are you even still thinking about this? Confused

quietnightmare · 08/05/2022 23:27

Lovely name

YoniHuman · 08/05/2022 23:27

It’s a nice name and it’s spelt correctly. I think it’s the unique spellings that people find ‘chavvy’. I expect it will also become more popular now that the Disney film Raya & the Last Dragon is around.

Original poster
whatsinaname5 · 08/05/2022 23:28

Kanaloa · 08/05/2022 23:12

Also what nonsense about ‘what if everyone hiring is a Millie or a Hugo.’

Companies don’t hire based on your name being Millie or Hugo. If she has better experience and education than Millie she’ll get the job. Lots of Milly/Millies in my shock lower class area. Most of their mums work despite being the awful horrible working classes. They seem to have managed to find jobs ok. Rather than panic about her name sorry about instilling confidence in her so she can go out and present herself well and not be constrained by these silly class obsessions.

I've reread my post and it does come across pretty badly and classist. Sorry.

I'm from a very, very hard up background but went to one of the Oxbridges and met a lot of social barriers there because of my background and then experienced the same in my career. I had a few instances at uni where I opened my mouth and potential friends physically backed from my regional accent. So I do have a few hang ups!

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 08/05/2022 23:30

Thedogscollar · 08/05/2022 23:08

Raya is a lovely name so YANBU for that but YABU for using the term chav ( council house and violent) hate this term as it's so condescending to people who actually live in council houses.

Whilst I dislike the term, I thought that your explanation was generally reckoned to be a backronym?

Elfbeth · 08/05/2022 23:33

YABU - it’s a perfectly fine name

Chaoslatte · 08/05/2022 23:33

I don’t think Raya has those connotations but I do think people would expect it more from a multicultural heritage than due to being named after someone called Ray so might be mildly surprised. The thing that I think would be more annoying is the ambiguous pronunciation but not that that would hold her back.

Princessoftheuniverse · 08/05/2022 23:35

Raya is just fine and I’m a harsh critic re outlandish ridiculous names. Ex teacher so I’ve heard a few.

BusterGroove · 08/05/2022 23:36

I had Raya on my list for DC (DH did not, but he’s a DS anyway) and that was 5 years ago! I don’t think it’s hugely unusual and is similar enough to all the Maya’s, Lilah’s, Isla’s and to Rae - which is quite popular around here, to not raise any eyebrows!

MyCatIsAJerk · 08/05/2022 23:38

You’re worrying needlessly, @whatsinaname5.

VintageVest · 08/05/2022 23:39

Never heard the name Raya before, but I really like it!

lameasahorse · 08/05/2022 23:39

This reply has been withdrawn

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Chikapu · 08/05/2022 23:42

You are being unreasonably ridiculous.