Page 3 | Would you block for this?

billy1966 · 09/05/2022 18:33

Rude to block someone who has stood you up and you are left standing waiting for 🙄

Spare me 🙄

Only the dregs would leave a person standing expecting to meet someone and not bother turning up.

But only on MN you have women telling them to text him and explain to him it won't work. 🙄

He deserves absolutely nothing, not a single consideration.

He's lucky its only a blocking.

I have old friends that would have considered a professional hit on any man that had the cheek to stand them up😂

Herejustforthisone · 09/05/2022 21:14

Why are women held to a higher standard than men?

The OP is rude to block him, but he’s not rude and is deserving of kindness even though he flaked twice and stood her up once?

I do not understand.

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 11:37

Of course he’s rude! Who said he wasn’t? Nobody is saying stay with him, he’s lovely. Just don’t lower yourself to his level. Dump him, but no need to ghost unless he’s dangerous.
There’s no higher standard for women, it’s just not a race to the bottom!

Indicatrice · 10/05/2022 11:42

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 11:37

Of course he’s rude! Who said he wasn’t? Nobody is saying stay with him, he’s lovely. Just don’t lower yourself to his level. Dump him, but no need to ghost unless he’s dangerous.
There’s no higher standard for women, it’s just not a race to the bottom!

You actually said OP should say sorry to him. She doesn't owe him anything, not a text, and certainly not an apology.

Blocking someone like this twat is not rude, it's having firm boundaries.

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 12:35

It’s a figure of speech in the sense of being polite, not particularly an apology. I’d have thought most people would have realised that.

Politely but firmly moving on is also a way of having clear boundaries. I don’t see the need to block and act like teenagers all the time. Seems to be the norm nowadays.

But anyway it’s done now. Hope the OP finds someone much nicer in the future.

Shunter350 · 10/05/2022 12:38

Bumblefumble1 · 08/05/2022 20:33

38 year old guy - I met him through a work thing last November - we messaged via instagram. 1st date was in January, 2nd date a week later. Anyway we continued to message and meet up a few times during February. No sex. I told him I would not want to have sex with someone who was not my boyfriend. That really was the last time I saw him face to face.

He messaged now and again but everytime we made plans he would cancel them. I think it got to the 2nd or 3rd time of that happening so I just cut my losses, accepted he was being weird (or was married) and blocked him on instagram/messenger. Just left it.

This morning he emailed me out of the blue (he had my email as he sent me a link to something) ‘ I take it your instagram is not working, I did try to message you. X’

I told a friend (guy friend may I add) who said you should never just block people without explanation. Now I feel really bad and I guess I am seeking validation I am not a bitch. I said that he had a few chances and the last time he cancelled on me was when I waiting on him; he cancelled offering no explanation and said ‘I will phone you at some point’.

Anyway. AIBU?

I have moved on from this guy and seeing another couple of people now - the email just came out the blue.

You can block who you want. No excuse or reason needs to be given. It's your MH at stake.
Think the guy is just milling around hoping you'll change your mind.

Indicatrice · 10/05/2022 12:44

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 12:35

It’s a figure of speech in the sense of being polite, not particularly an apology. I’d have thought most people would have realised that.

Politely but firmly moving on is also a way of having clear boundaries. I don’t see the need to block and act like teenagers all the time. Seems to be the norm nowadays.

But anyway it’s done now. Hope the OP finds someone much nicer in the future.

Saying sorry to someone who let you down three times is not being polite, it's being a doormat.

Time to model assertive behaviour to women, and less of this #bekind, be polite, be dignified.

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 12:58

Well I’ve managed to get through to my 50s being polite and never being a doormat.
If the sorry part of what I suggested upsets you so much just say the rest. Either way you’re being assertive and dumping him. You don’t have to be rude to be assertive, or to be strong or to be equal to a man.

AchatAVendre · 10/05/2022 13:12

Honeyroar · 10/05/2022 12:58

Well I’ve managed to get through to my 50s being polite and never being a doormat.
If the sorry part of what I suggested upsets you so much just say the rest. Either way you’re being assertive and dumping him. You don’t have to be rude to be assertive, or to be strong or to be equal to a man.

I think women are too conditioned to use the word "sorry" but its actually really negative language and puts the user on the back foot. I'm also wary of people who say "sorry" when they clearly don't mean it and are fake. At any rate, the OP shouldn't feel she has to apologise in any way to this man. His behaviour has been rude and therefore she can be as abrupt as she likes without being rude back.

Then theres all the context of negative thinking being related to language. eg if you're training to do a sport or a jump or whatever, you are encouraged not to start sentences with "I'm scared" or "I'm worried this might happen" because you can actually convince yourself into being scared or worried.