PMS ruining my life?

[Flois]

I had a baby last year - baby almost a year old.

I thought I had PND but I was fluctuating so much between feeling fine and feeling horrendous that I wasn't sure.

Now I've seen a pattern - it's my period. This is my monthly cycle now.

Days 1-7 heavy bleeding but manageable with usual period pain. Generally feel OK emotionally

Days 7-14 feel great, full of energy, balanced, love spending time with my baby, get loads done, am a great Mum

Days 14-21 mood starts to fluctuate. Start becoming tired, irritable, lose patience, constant negative voice in my head, think about divorcing my husband because he didn't put the bins out etc

Days 21-28 headaches, hot flashes, ridiculous bloating, constant hunger, tiredness I can't shift, dizziness. Putting huge amounts of mental energy into balan

Trip to your gp, op.

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much but the doctors can help, it might be that PMS had tipped over into PMDD.

Also hot flashes..not sure how old you are but possibly menopause?

I was just talking to a friend about this as I'm feeling really down and have rage and me and DH are fighting like anything and I feel like the world is going to end and the more I see DH sitting on his arse instead of helping the more rage and then I explode....and I've noticed a pattern too and I cry too it's a cycle and IRS getting worse as I'm getting older...

Posted too soon!

Huge amounts of mental energy trying to balance my moods. Feel like I don't want to be around my baby at all. Feel like could cry.

I'm older so last time spoke to doctor she said the pill might not be the best idea.

What can I do? I feel like I'm losing my life to my menstrual cycle!

Am I being unreasonable? Is this a thing? Or is it PND? It's so much worse since having a baby. The weight gain and bloating are awful but the emotional side is even worse. I'm all over the place.

Oh my goodness I could have written your post word for word!

My twins are a little younger than yours but similarly I noticed a pattern in the lead up to my cycle.

I called my GP in desperation last week and explained that 2 weeks of every month are just awful and my mental health is a mess as a result.

Her response was to prescribe me antidepressants for PND which wasn't what I was expecting!

Hoping you get a better response xxx

P.s for reference I'm 41yrs. Cycle still regular as clockwork.

I could have written your post word for word. My little one is 14 months now and it had got so much worse after giving birth. I've always had PMS but this is like PMS on steroids! My GP diagnosed PMDD as she said if it was PND I would be feeling this way all the time not just the two weeks before each period. I now take Sertraline for 2 weeks before every period and this has massively helped keep me rational. It wasn't what I wanted to hear but I have no control over these hormones so having a bit of help stabilising them has worked for me and my husband too. I hope you manage to get sorted out x

@knittedwithme yep - if I was to do the depression test over the first two weeks vs the 2nd 2 weeks of my cycle - it would be entirely different results. Do you think you'll take the antidepressants?

@User1234567891011121314 yes! This! This is me!

@Kat1953 thanks. Yep 41, so could be the start of the menopause. Will look into PMDD.

Good luck op and don't be fobbed off if you get a duff gp!

I had similar OP and went on the pill to stop my periods about 15 years ago. Changed my life.good luck x

I had horrific PMS so bad I was suicidal every month, I had a hysterectomy for endometriosis & my ovaries removed, it was the best thing I ever did, I felt better the moment I woke up.

I have always struggled with this to a degree, but since having my youngest 3 years ago it has been awful. Took me a long time to make the link between my menstrual cycle and severe swinging depression, debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. It’s called PMDD.

I have found that - cutting caffeine to the minimum and absolutely no coffee - cutting alcohol out completely - and limiting refined sugar has made a huge difference. Also exercising regularly at least 2-3 times per week. In particular doing all of this in the 2nd half of my cycle leading up to my period makes a huge difference to my mental stability.

I used to basically write myself off 50% of my time. Get to the GP. They can prescribe antidepressants for the second half of your cycle if you need them. Give PMDD a Google as there’s a lot of support resources out there.

Have a look on thelowdown.com plenty of options and reviews and advice on there if your doctors are fobbing you off

Yes PMS so much worse since having my son-and he’s 3 now! My cycles have also got a bit shorter (last months was 21 days, bloody harsh, thankfully this months hasn’t arrived yet and on day 24 so fingers crossed) and I get at least 6/7 days bleeding with a bit of a faffing of spotting on and off few days before. Add to that the week before literally being extremely Irritable, sore boobs and anxious AF then basically my period dominates half my month. I’ve had a few scans already (all fine) but my doctor is checking me for early menopause (I’m 37 soon) just in case. I take antidepressants and it’s better than it was (before I took them I cried at the slightest thing before my period al day long) but it’s still rubbish! Why don’t they tell you this at antenatal class?

@pinklillie sorry to hear you've struggled to - along with so many of us on this thread!

I'm interested in you only taking the pills for 2 weeks out of a month. Do you notice any dip on the weeks you aren't taking it?

I had a complicated pregnancy and as such I was on progesterone until the end and I could swear all that build up has contributed to where we are now but the doctor says she doesnt believe it to be so.

Also interested in the 2week pill. I came off any hormone pills about 15 years ago as it didn't agree with me. But I didn't even think of going to the Dr. Maybe it will help our marriage?!

@knittedwithme I am sorry to hear you are also struggling. I think labelling it as PND is a bit of a cop out from your GP.

No there is no dip at all. As soon as my period arrives the low mood, irritability, and anger goes. It’s like a switch as soon as my period starts. I feel like my old self again. The relief I felt was immense but then the guilt for my behaviour in the two weeks running up to it was so strong too. It was so hard to feel so conflicted.

I honestly used to think it was all my husband/boss/family/friends annoying me and that I was being completely rational but then I realised it wasn’t actually them it was me.

I don’t have that now as I just feel like me for the whole month without the highs and lows it’s just a nice steady feeling and at times quite a contented feeling. I’ve never taken ADs before but they have helped. I was so stressed that my little one was going to think his mummy was out of control but I don’t feel like that now. Calmer all round for all of us.

Getting help, helped me. I saw a functional nutritionist who looked at my hormones and vitamin levels. It was not cheap and it took a while but I saw improvements pretty quickly which got better as time went on. She is also an NLP trained therapist so offered emotional support as well as nutritional, hormonal and supplement support. I couldn't see the joy in life and was really struggling. It has brought me back from the edge. My monthly emotional cycle is much more balanced now and I am in control. Hormonal contraception sends me into a spin so this was a good compromise for me as the herbs she recommended have not had a similar effect. I have had a strange pre period bleed / spotting for days before my period for the past three years which is likely to have been due to low progesterone.. this has now stopped and my periods seem more functional and normal. Start, bleed for a few days, stop. I haven't checked my hormone levels again but I look forward to doing that as I think it will have changed. I am sleeping so much better too. Still some things to improve but I am so glad I got help.

I had this too. What worked for me was Dr Maryon Stewart and her book No more PMS
i tried acupuncture and evening primrose oil. But they didn’t help. I couldn’t take the pill.
She used to do telephone consultations. Maybe she still does.
it cured my PMT. Husband couldn’t believe it. Changed my life for the better

Don't waste your time on all the herbal remedies, they are not going to help with this level of PMT, or as its actually known, PMDD, when it's so severe it interferes with your life amd relationships. I have tried everything over the years. I got labelled as crazy by family. I was put of the mini pill and it changed my life, I haventnhad a period for years. See your GP

I had a mirena coil for heavy periods, and I’ve found that it’s helped my manic PMT.

I had my children at 35, 38 and 42. Always had a tendency toward PMT -bloating, grumpy, irritable days 24-28.

After my second child I was awful. Both the intensity and duration of PMT so much worse, until I eventually fell pregnant at 42.

During that 3rd pregnancy I felt so normal, I started to dread being the way I was and did loads of research on approaches to PMT in preparation for being post-partum again.

Long story short, it was awful again, kept getting worse and worse, with hot flushes, near permanent irritability and nothing helped.

At 44 I started to get visual migraines. Optometrist advised that it was likely to be menopause. I went on HRT for the migraines (it worked) and everything got better.

It turned out, for me, that going into menopause wasn't really something completely new, but more a gradual worsening of existing PMT into something that was really damaging to the quality of my life, and lasting for more than 50% of my cycle. But my cycle remained regular throughout. Looking back there were small changes that were signs of hormone deficiency -bit of spotting leading up to period starting (progesterone deficiency) then heavier bleeding day 1-2 which could keep me at home. But there's so much focus on irregular cycles that I didn't realise until HRT sorted it all out (and made me feel 10 years younger).

Same as a PP my GP prescribed me sertraline to be taken for the week I find the toughest

This is so me right now. 11 month old baby, still breastfeeding and a moody cow a lot of the time. Rage & irritability feature heavily in my day to day life.

I thought it was a lack of sex, so I've really pushed myself (still feel fat and touched out from pregnancy and breastfeeding) and although I was pretty chirpy this morning, a dark cloud has desended and I feel so angry about the smallest of things.

I'm interested in the sertraline for 2 weeks. I've been on it before and I was under the impression it needs a chance to build up in your system. Also, stopping abruptly wasn't wise. I'm guessing it's working though so perhaps I should ask the GP too.

I'm planning on eating better and getting out for walks more shortly so that may work too.

I never really struggled with PM's before my children. Since childbirth it has ruled my fucking life and ruined it in some respects. The mood swings are AWFUL in the luteal phase. My sensitivity - both emotionally and to smells, noises etc- is horrible. I become catastrophically depressed in the last week, and until I realised what was going on would provoke relationship- ending discussions with my DP every month in the last 3 days before I came on. Then I'd have my period, feel completely normal again, hit my forehead and go "ooooooooohhhh!"

Knowing it's coming and that the awful awful feelings are not "real" has helped a lot. I have an app now, note when I ovulate and then spend two weeks taking deep breaths and biting my tongue. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much. But knowing what's going on is a game changer for not just setting fire to my life once a month.

Childbirth absolutely can bring this on and it's not PND - as you say it's cyclical, it's very observably related to your cycle.