Terminally ill parent and holiday

[Worryinglyworried73]

My dad ill and doesn’t want us to know how much time he has left. He also wants us to go on our upcoming holiday and wants us to carry on as normal.

Aibu to not know what the hell to do? He’s been quite clear that he wants life to go on but I feel really weird about it & about going away.

what do you do in these circumstances?

Op the more i think about it the more i think you should go.

I'm going to assume that his next of kin ( your mum / possibly step mum) has plenty support round her should the worse happen while you are away?

You'll be there for her in the long hard months ahead and the immediate aftermath plenty people will be around for her?

It's a difficult decision to make. Speaking in generalities predicting how long someone has left to live can be very difficult. People can have a terminal label for months even years... Generally a sign someone is approaching last days you'll see a sudden worsening in health/energy levels, sleeping most of the day, not being interested in eating or drinking can be indicators people are approaching last days.

Is there someone who could call you if this was occurring and you could return from holiday?

If he's said go, I'd go. Chances are you might not be there anyway at the end as people often slip away when family have gone home.
It doesn't mean you love him any less.

I would listen to him and follow his wishes. It’s part of maintaining his dignity because maybe he would prefer to go while you are away, especially if he’s already expressed that he doesn’t want you to see his decline.

In similar circumstances I went on holiday,but in UK
we had 3 DC under 4 and my DH was desperately needing a holiday
Everyone told me to go
i said to my brother before I went that he should let me know if DF deteriorated
when he called me we came straight back
we did get back before my DF passed away but to be honest he didn’t really know I was there
I saw my DF pretty much daily and have no regrets