Or is this selfish behaviour?

poppingmore · 2022-05-08T07:22:50+00:00

H decided to spend the night at a friend's last night Obviously what I'd consider heavy drinking etc. Naturally, he feels like shit this morning He's asked me to come and get him. I said yes that's fine. But my MIL was suppose to be coming up later today to put up DS's swing set. H said over the phone he's going to cancel and say DS is unwell this morning. AIBU to think it's selfish? It's only because he feels like crap. Well tough. I wouldn't do it to myself if I knew I had something concerning my child the next day. I just wouldn't want to let them down. He says I'm being ridiculous and what's another week? No doubt he will come home and want to go straight to bed.

KylieCharlene · 08/05/2022 08:27

I'd not cancel or lie that it's ds who is poorly.
Let MIL come as arranged and when she asks where her son is just tell her he's in bed with a hangover.
Obviously dh realizes that his staying out and drinking to excess behaviour isn't the behaviour of the Dad he wants to portray himself as which is why he doesn't want his mother to know!.
Make sure she comes over, OP.

Original poster

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 08:29

@KylieCharlene I wouldn't be surprised if he's already text her though

In which case it complicates things a bit further if he's said one thing and I'm saying another

OP posts:

Monpetitjardin · 08/05/2022 08:30

KylieCharlene · 08/05/2022 08:27

I'd not cancel or lie that it's ds who is poorly.
Let MIL come as arranged and when she asks where her son is just tell her he's in bed with a hangover.
Obviously dh realizes that his staying out and drinking to excess behaviour isn't the behaviour of the Dad he wants to portray himself as which is why he doesn't want his mother to know!.
Make sure she comes over, OP.

This, exactly.

Alfiemoon1 · 08/05/2022 08:30

As above let mil come and do the swing and tell her your dh is in bed hungover

Monpetitjardin · 08/05/2022 08:32

If he's texted her already, she'll know he's both hungover and a liar.

PonyPatter44 · 08/05/2022 08:35

Monpetitjardin · 08/05/2022 08:32

If he's texted her already, she'll know he's both hungover and a liar.

And? Perhaps she already knows, perhaps it won't come as any surprise to her.

He sounds a bit of a wet lettuce anyway. Needs his partner to collect him after a night out, needs his mummy to come and put up a swing set... not exactly Mr Dynamic, is he?

MangoJuice008 · 08/05/2022 08:35

Why can't she still come over? You're fine so is DS.
You shouldn't have to cancel your plans because your husband wants to be selfish. I'd text her and say "husband is hungover DS isn't poorly, not to worry I can help you with the swing set if you like?"

Itwasntmeright · 08/05/2022 08:37

She should come over. You don’t get to cancel things for your kids because you’ve gone out and got pissed and made yourself ill, that’s not how being a parent works. When he gets home chuck him some paracetamol and some water, tell him to lie down for an hour, then he gets on with it.🙄

Original poster

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 08:40

MangoJuice008 · 08/05/2022 08:35

Why can't she still come over? You're fine so is DS.
You shouldn't have to cancel your plans because your husband wants to be selfish. I'd text her and say "husband is hungover DS isn't poorly, not to worry I can help you with the swing set if you like?"

It complicated things because if mil finds out he's lied, she will blow her top, be cross, and won't come over anyway

OP posts:

PolynesianParadise · 08/05/2022 08:41

I''d just have mil over and be honest that he's in bed hungover.

springbreak22 · 08/05/2022 08:42

Surely you have got back

springbreak22 · 08/05/2022 08:42

To him and said 'no'

KangarooKenny · 08/05/2022 08:42

I wouldn’t lie for him. If his mother finds out what he’s really like, then good.

runnerblade95 · 08/05/2022 08:54

I definitely wouldn’t lie for him. Really and truly, your MIL shouldn’t be putting up the swing set by herself, he should have offered to help her with it. Why on earth would you stand back and watch your own mother putting together a swing set of all things and not offer to help? Let her come over and be cross with him. It’s the least he deserves atp

Original poster

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 09:14

runnerblade95 · 08/05/2022 08:54

I definitely wouldn’t lie for him. Really and truly, your MIL shouldn’t be putting up the swing set by herself, he should have offered to help her with it. Why on earth would you stand back and watch your own mother putting together a swing set of all things and not offer to help? Let her come over and be cross with him. It’s the least he deserves atp

The plan is that he's helping her put it up. Which is another reason he doesn't want her to come I suppose as he doesn't feel he can

I can't help much because of DS in the background (long story but he needs supervision)

OP posts:

KangarooKenny · 08/05/2022 09:27

Really, don’t lie fir anyone.

runnerblade95 · 08/05/2022 09:29

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 09:14

The plan is that he's helping her put it up. Which is another reason he doesn't want her to come I suppose as he doesn't feel he can

I can't help much because of DS in the background (long story but he needs supervision)

Show quote history

Ah, this makes more sense then. Oh well, he needs to pull himself together, take some paracetamol and get on with it.

We go through childbirth, vaginal tears and sleep deprivation. Why are men such wimps when it comes to cold/flu, hangovers etc? I’ve always wondered this. Thought it was just my DH 😄

No seriously though, he should be helping her. No need to explain to anyone why DS needs supervision by the way! Apologies if my post came across as though I was expecting you to help out! Absolutely not, it’s his job! Good luck 💐

Original poster

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 09:36

And on that note, I've been waiting here, in the place he asked me to collect him from, for 30 mins now

No answer. No respond to multiple texts to say I'm here. Called about 20 times and nothing, now it goes straight to voicemail

DS getting fed up in the back. I just feel so angry.

OP posts:

VimFuego101 · 08/05/2022 09:44

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 09:36

And on that note, I've been waiting here, in the place he asked me to collect him from, for 30 mins now

No answer. No respond to multiple texts to say I'm here. Called about 20 times and nothing, now it goes straight to voicemail

DS getting fed up in the back. I just feel so angry.

Go home, don't waste any more of your day on this man-child.

DrStrangesWife · 08/05/2022 09:58

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 09:36

And on that note, I've been waiting here, in the place he asked me to collect him from, for 30 mins now

No answer. No respond to multiple texts to say I'm here. Called about 20 times and nothing, now it goes straight to voicemail

DS getting fed up in the back. I just feel so angry.

Why are you even with him! He sounds like a complete waste of space.

taylorsdoinapart · 08/05/2022 10:04

Leave him to it. Let your MIL come round. This is not your problem.

Chilver · 08/05/2022 10:05

Why on earth are you still waiting??? No wonder he does these things- you let him!
Go home, call your MIL and get that swing set up!

Original poster

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 10:09

I'm beginning to get a bit worried. He's never not answered his phone

He's one of these people that'll always answer, even if for example they're at the office or on an evening out

He's never not responded

I went home... DS is in the garden playing. But I'm wondering what on earth has gone on

OP posts:

DrStrangesWife · 08/05/2022 10:12

poppingmore · 08/05/2022 10:09

I'm beginning to get a bit worried. He's never not answered his phone

He's one of these people that'll always answer, even if for example they're at the office or on an evening out

He's never not responded

I went home... DS is in the garden playing. But I'm wondering what on earth has gone on

Can you ring the friend he stayed with?

Jurassicparkinajug · 08/05/2022 10:14

He's probably fallen back asleep. Or maybe he'd phone is out of battery?
I'm sure most of us have got carried away with drinking before and ended up with a hangover when we don't want one. Once you start drinking, all logic goes out the window. As long as he isnt doing this regularly it wouldnt bother me. However he shouldn't lie to his mum. Just be honest.