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Original poster

Wedding invite - Posh

53 replies

Sammykit · 08/05/2022 08:10

My friend remains adament that her partner ‘is not posh’ and ‘kinda rough’. I do not care if her partner is posh / not posh / employed / unemployed as long as he makes her happy. - (Usual british obsession with heirarchy - I do not even know why she tells me this; I do not care)

He grew up in a ‘huge’ house and attends the private golf club with his father (very very elite area).

Anyway she hands me the wedding invite yesterday and he has ‘sealed’ the wedding invites with wax and with the family plaque with his initials that have been added on. She talked me through the whole plaque. I mean it is lovely, But YANBU to feel she is delusional about his social class?!

He seems a lovely guy but when she tells me ‘to find a nice down to earth man’ ‘like him’ - I am really starting to think she just does not the markers of wealth. I would not mind but she always says the men I meet ‘are poshos’ and therefore ‘should be avoided’. When she handed me the wedding invite with the red wax I nearly died. He probably has a signet ring.

As I said I do not care in the slightest about social class - it seems to be she keeps bringing it up and playing his down for whatever reason. I am starting to think she might be insecure for some reason but I cannot work out why.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 08/05/2022 08:17

If she's calling it a plaque rather than a crest or emblem, then I think either he or she is just pretending. Just let it wash over you - or pretend you're an anthropologist studying the habits of strange tribes and enjoy the absurdity

Honaloulou · 08/05/2022 08:18

Sounds pretentious and social climbing, rather than posh.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/05/2022 08:22

She sounds a bit defensive.

Cocodreams · 08/05/2022 08:22

She sounds more infatuated with her perceived posh/not posh malarkey of
him than she is actually with him. I’d ignore or change the subject.

I’m from a country that doesn’t have a class system so I’m afraid I think people who prattle on about class don’t have enough going on in their lives. It’s 2022 not 1802!

Pugdogmom · 08/05/2022 08:23

Sounds a bit like inverted snobbery to me, but if they want to play down his background, that's up to them. Enjoy the wedding.

lop32 · 08/05/2022 08:23

Honaloulou · 08/05/2022 08:18

Sounds pretentious and social climbing, rather than posh.

I agree. I have a few posh friends and they'd never do this. They do wear signet rings though.

Pottedpalm · 08/05/2022 08:23

Sounds a bit Flash Chav to me! Big house, golf, signet rings…
The wealthiest people I know are very low key. At a wedding I attended recently ( their daughter’s wedding, with reception at their country estate), the bridal party donned their slippers after the wedding and no tea and coffee was served in order to keep costs down.

Giraffesandbottoms · 08/05/2022 08:24

Sounds pretentious and social climbing, rather than posh

this

Original poster
Sammykit · 08/05/2022 08:33

Not sure why she is being so defensive or inverse snob

she was married for 11 years and they only broke up a couple of years ago - she started to date golf guy and was engaged after 9 months I think. He does seem nice and they both seem happy

I have not been able to meet a single sane man to date is a few years so I have no idea how people meet successive husbands 😂 I am so unlucky 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Sammykit · 08/05/2022 08:37

Pottedpalm · 08/05/2022 08:23

Sounds a bit Flash Chav to me! Big house, golf, signet rings…
The wealthiest people I know are very low key. At a wedding I attended recently ( their daughter’s wedding, with reception at their country estate), the bridal party donned their slippers after the wedding and no tea and coffee was served in order to keep costs down.

They really really are
I know the Son of a big petrol company based in the middle east - he went to a notorious boarding school near london. Anyway when you go out for drinks with him he can do the sums for cost analysis for glass of wine - caraffe - or bottle in lightening speed 😂😂 500ml for £60 but a caraffe is £42. We are like ffs mate 😂😂 your inheritance will be multi millions. He always wear clothes from sainsburys and tesco and he looks great as well. No brand names!

OP posts:
Footgoose · 08/05/2022 08:44

Real posh is shabby clothes , knackered cars, woolly jumpers in doors and sitting by the aga to keep warm . Having a home in Cornwall but it’s falling down.

Original poster
Sammykit · 08/05/2022 09:04

Footgoose · 08/05/2022 08:44

Real posh is shabby clothes , knackered cars, woolly jumpers in doors and sitting by the aga to keep warm . Having a home in Cornwall but it’s falling down.

Yep as above PP
the guy I know whose family is really really loaded drives a 1999 honda car covered in bird poop
also and this is interesting and debatable - when he goes on a date he (first date) always splits the bill?

OP posts:
Giraffesandbottoms · 08/05/2022 11:26

Real posh is shabby clothes , knackered cars, woolly jumpers in doors and sitting by the aga to keep warm . Having a home in Cornwall but it’s falling down

This is also not true and often trotted out on here to make people feel better about those who have a lot of money but in the case of your OP this guy sounds like a bit of a try hard

TheSnowyOwl · 08/05/2022 11:33

Why aren’t the wedding invites coming from her parents?

DelphiniumBlue · 08/05/2022 11:34

Rich is not the same as posh.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 08/05/2022 11:38

When she handed me the wedding invite with the red wax I nearly died

🙄

Swayingpalmtrees · 08/05/2022 11:53

Why do you even care?

I am not sure I could be friends with someone banging on about this. How utterly dull!

BaaMoon · 08/05/2022 11:57

TheSnowyOwl · 08/05/2022 11:33

Why aren’t the wedding invites coming from her parents?

Why should they?

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 08/05/2022 12:00

Golf is more working class than middle class.

PlasticineMeg · 08/05/2022 12:01

From the title I thought Victoria Beckham had invited you to a wedding. Disappointed, I have to say Wink

CulturePigeon · 08/05/2022 12:12

Well...there's posh (whatever that means!) and then there's just rich. They are not always the same thing.

My mum, who was always very low-key and frugal, was stunned to receive a wedding invitation in the form of a massive faux-parchment scroll with a ribbon and wax seal. The senders were definitely not posh, but had just gone OTT with their wedding choices.

It's so sad that people get labelled and judged. In my experience, the the label 'posh' is as unfair as 'common' and those who use them often have no idea what they're talking about. Why would someone being posh be a reason to avoid them - unless you buy into a judgmental attitude about people with certain accents, clothes etc. If they behave badly - that's fair enough, but just being posh isn't a crime in itself.

Original poster
Sammykit · 08/05/2022 12:54

CulturePigeon · 08/05/2022 12:12

Well...there's posh (whatever that means!) and then there's just rich. They are not always the same thing.

My mum, who was always very low-key and frugal, was stunned to receive a wedding invitation in the form of a massive faux-parchment scroll with a ribbon and wax seal. The senders were definitely not posh, but had just gone OTT with their wedding choices.

It's so sad that people get labelled and judged. In my experience, the the label 'posh' is as unfair as 'common' and those who use them often have no idea what they're talking about. Why would someone being posh be a reason to avoid them - unless you buy into a judgmental attitude about people with certain accents, clothes etc. If they behave badly - that's fair enough, but just being posh isn't a crime in itself.

I know
i have dated ‘posh’ (percieved) and ‘not so posh’ (percieved)
from surgeons to bar man - farmers to lawyers; makes no odds whatsoever with how they treat you
she seems to me to want me to avoid ‘poshos’ - i just dont tell her much about my dating life and let her get on with it

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 08/05/2022 13:02

Am mildly confused as would expect to have invite issued by the bride's parents or at least they have them included on the invitation rather than some performative malarky by his parents. Bite tongue and smile.

DangerouslyBored · 08/05/2022 13:06

Pottedpalm · 08/05/2022 08:23

Sounds a bit Flash Chav to me! Big house, golf, signet rings…
The wealthiest people I know are very low key. At a wedding I attended recently ( their daughter’s wedding, with reception at their country estate), the bridal party donned their slippers after the wedding and no tea and coffee was served in order to keep costs down.

I think you are mistaking class with being tight Confused

DangerouslyBored · 08/05/2022 13:13

Footgoose · 08/05/2022 08:44

Real posh is shabby clothes , knackered cars, woolly jumpers in doors and sitting by the aga to keep warm . Having a home in Cornwall but it’s falling down.

Not this hackneyed nonsense that is always trotted out by someone on MN.

I work for a v successful, long established hedge fund. I’m surrounded by aristocracy and (extremely) high net worth individuals, all from old money. No one, absolutely no one, dresses like this. I also live in an area full of old money, again, no one dresses in shitty old clobber Confused