About kids harassing my dog

[Madmaxxy]

I see so many posts on here about people being pissed off about dogs running up to their kids (Understandable) so here's a reverse, if you will.

I was standing in the queue outside a cafe with my dog (terrier mix about the size of a border terrier, for context, and a very dog friendly area, type of place they have a jar of treats at the till)

Mum and two kids approx aged 6/8 join the queue behind me. Mum is absolutely engrossed with something on her phone. The kids are obviously interested in my dog and the younger one starts flapping a leaflet in his face. I say quite clearly 'please don't do that, he's a bit nervous'

Mum obviously hears me, glances up from her phone and continues to ignore her kids. The kids then start really crowding him and chanting 'hot dog, hot dog, hot dog' a few inches from his face. He's now cowering behind my legs, and the younger one poked him on the back. Again I asked the child to not do that, and absolutely no acknowledgment from the mother. Luckily our turn to go in so we got away from them after that.

AIBU to think that after the first time I had to ask them to stop the mother should have reinforced the message and pulled them away... And after the second time it would have been a good time to teach the kids about dog safety, not to pet other peoples dogs without asking first etc. And certainly not to poke a dog in the back when it's not looking!!! My dog wouldn't have bitten them or anything but he was quite clearly bothered by it, and one day they might just pick the wrong dog to harass, and we all know who's fault it would be if anything happened.

AIBU to think it goes both ways and that kids need to be taught how to behave safely around dogs. And to think regardless, if kids are bothering a stranger the mother should have said something to them.

Not unreasonable at all. My son loves dogs and always wants to give them a cuddle/stroke. The one thing we have taught him is to ALWAYS ask first. Firstly it’s basic manners but also not all dogs want to be stroked.

I absolutely couldn't agree with you more. I'm so sick of children and their parents thinking they have a right to touch my dogs.

YANBU. Kids need to learn to respect animals. The first time they get bitten the mother will blame the dog!

She should have intervened, but why did you not just say something directly to the mother after her kids not listening to you?

When you're highlighting a reverse, parents tend to speak to the dog owner not the dog.

I basically agree. But I have had some dog owners be “offended” when I’ve stopped DS bounding towards them, he’s 2 and would stop and cuddle every dog he sees given half the chance, I will always hold him back and tell him to leave the doggy and some owners will get a bit shirty at the implication that their dog might bite or whatever.

But yes the mother should have intervened.

The mother was in another world so I thought the quickest solution would be to ask the children to stop it. Silly of me to assume that they'd listen to a stranger and that the mother would clock on and do something. The second time it was our turn to go in so I just didn't bother. Next time I shall be more direct for sure.

I remember when a lad aged about 11 came off the prom onto the beach and was happily stroking my friendly Staffie. He asked first. His DM shouted “Get your face away from that dog’s mouth!”
She was absolutely right, IF my dog had been aggressive she could have ripped his face off.

Absolutely. Many children love dogs and want to get up close and maybe just don't have the experience to read dog body language or know that when she's trying to walk away you don't chase or poke her bum or try to grab her tail or ears but I've also seen it where I've said, "please don't do that, it's making her sad" and the kids deliberately continue (like clapping in her face) That's when my teacher voice comes out...

It doesn't happen too often, but I have had similar experiences where I've loudly said "I can see you're unhappy downsizedog, we need to move away because these children are upsetting you" and walked away. (Then glared).

Fortunately, I would say most children, dogs, owners, parents (cyclists and drivers for that matter) are respectful. But the negative stories are the ones that get us talking!

Absolutely be direct.

I have 20 plus dogs, farmers wife, four in-house.

My kids are little, and are taught you speak to nobody's dog or touch a dog without asking permission. Ever.

Just because my three year old can handle my dogs does NOT mean she can touch yours.

She would be the one shouting if your dog nipped.

I am very direct to children.
At least once a day I am saying extremely loud

Do not put your face in front of my dogs face. She does not know you.

Do not poke or touch my dog, she doesn't know you and you are scarying her

And people wonder why children are bitten???

I think that the second time you should have directly addressed the mother. "Please could you stop them, my dog is very nervous."

Not from doing that to well trained dogs that are with their owners that's for sure. OP is unreasonable and it in no way equates to entitled for owners who let their dogs off lead to go bounding up to toddlers .

What is unreasonable about telling children to get out of a dog's face? And yes, that is exactly how children get bitten @RedHelenB

My friend once told her son off for stroking someone's dog without asking first.

He replied "Yes, but you also tell us not to talk to strangers, so we can't".

@RedHelenB nonsense. OP did nothing wrong. If this children had been bitten it's all on the mother who had badly taught her kids and also failed to intervene in their very poor behaviour.

A bite isn't about training, it's about the dog's stress, fear and a need to defend itself. Training might overcome growling, but all that does is hide when a dog is giving a warning. It doesn't stop a bite.

Say "control your kids" to the daft bint.

My last dog (rescue at 6 months) was reactive to certain things but would generally be very good until things started to invade her space. Children were a particular trigger so we'd try and keep her out of the way where children were a risk. Somehow someone still thought it was ok (in a large pet store shopping) to allow their toddler to run up then stick their hands in her mouth and not pull the child away. Luckily she was too stunned to do anything about it but it certainly didn't help her anxiety around children.

I still remember leaving her outside the local shop one day, I'd tied her as far away from the door and road/path as I could manage on a short lead. I'd only been inside a few minutes and was at the check out when I heard her barking which immediately got much more stressed in sound. I'd only be about 16 but ran to the door and dived out of it to see some kids (about 10) playing chicken, running towards her then away. I shouted at them (normally very shy and quiet), don't even remember what I said but it likely wasn't very nice, my dog was very distressed and took several minutes to calm her down before I could return to the shop. I was so angry.

It's just as important that kids are taught to how to behave around dogs and other animals. As a bare minimum they should ask if a dog is ok to approach (the answer would always have been no with my last dog) and follow any instructions given. Just because a dog is in a public place doesn't mean you can touch them, they're minding their own business, leave them be.

It's not just kids even; I've seen my dad's wife stroke random dogs without asking. She once ran up to a group of young people on a busy street with a staffy type dog and stroked it without even acknowledging them, then came back over to us. They were giving her serious glares as she walked off, and I tried explaining she should have asked first before doing that, but she wouldn't have it...

Myself and DC1 are absolutely dog mad and really missing our four- legged friend who unfortunately died last year. We LOVE meeting new friends out and about but since DC1 was very very young, 2/3 years old, they know the rules:

1. Never approach a dog without first asking the owner
2. Never approach a dog that is not with the owner

You are not BU at all.

Ughhh and it’s no wonder so many kids get bitten by dogs if they don’t learn how to treat them kindly. You would want to bite if someone was flapping something in your face and poking you.

Yabu for letting it happen

I would have blocked them from going near my dog.

My Nan once had this though. A man plonked his toddler around 18 months, in front of her dog and walked off to play on his phone. The toddler was immediately pulling on the dogs ears. Luckily, this dog was soft as muck and didn’t care.

When my Nan walked off to the man and called him a “bloody irresponsible parent”, the man blew up at her telling her how his child loves dogs and she shouldn’t have them if they can’t tolerate kids.

Idiot

YANBU OP. I've a friend with a large rescue dog with a background of trauma, who is absolutely unsuitable for interaction with strangers. Unfortunately, it's also a very appealing dog for children as it's very fluffy and could be mistaken for a Samoyed. I've realised through walking the dog with her that there are many parents who genuinely believe that the world is one giant, fun, safe interactive experience set up solely for their kids, and requiring no supervision whatsoever from them. Anyone not complying with that simulation - such as by having a dog that bizarrely(!) doesn't want its fur pulled or children trying to climb on its back - is wholly unreasonable and should simply not exist in the proximity of the children. These parents will not be asked to provide any supervision, and in fact think YOU are unreasonable for not having a child-friendly dog for the kids to have a fun experience with.

It drives me mad and I don't even really like dogs that much!

YANBU though I have never really had to teach mine to stay away from dogs since he was knocked over and pinned down by a couple of large dogs as a toddler. It's amazing how many dog owners seem desperate to convince him of their dogs' friendliness and encourage him to come up to their dogs..

YANBU though I have never really had to teach mine to stay away from dogs since he was knocked over and pinned down by a couple of large dogs as a toddler. It's amazing how many dog owners seem desperate to convince him of their dogs' friendliness and encourage him to come up to their dogs..

I am a bit hormonal but I am trying not to cry thinking about your poor dog. He must have been so confused and worried.

YADNBU. Absolutely terrible parenting on her part. I hope your dog got lots of cuddles and treats when you got home!