to find some of the AIBU topics irritating?

[Whetheryouthinkyoucan]

Is this a sign I should step away from the forum? Am I being unreasonable (and grumpy) or are these honestly reasonable questions?

I can’t tell if I am being very intolerant or not.

I read topics on here, and I wonder if the authors are honestly,really, asking the question because the answer seems to obvious?

”AIBU not to want to invite my sister’s mother in law to my wedding when she spat at me at Christmas?

“AIBU to be annoyed with my husband who hasn’t changed a nappy in four years and who doesn’t know where the washing powder is?”

”AIBU to say no to looking after the neighbour’s five kids and six dogs every night?”

”AIBU to eat dinner alone?”

so, why do people ask these questions? I don’t come across these people in real life who seem to require such a level of reassurance from strangers on the internet.

I think some people use AIBU to vent, though - they know they're not being unreasonable, they just need to rant for a bit and have the validation of people agreeing with them. Then they calm down and all is well.

Or . . . is that just me?

You're not wrong. Looking at the current topics now, we have:
Kim Kardashian WAS behind her sex tape release after all
No shit, Sherlock
To think SD mum is mental?
She's your partner's ex. Of course you think she's mental!
Is this racist?
If you have to ask, it probably is.

Yes, the threads about how often someone changes their sheets or washes their towels are quite strange. Partly because there’s no correct answer:

• too seldom - ugh, you’re gross and probably smell
• too frequent - you’re destroying the planet and should have better things to do

I have to say - I do use it as a source of validation - usually to confirm what I already know. I also do not want to gossip to others in real life about people - particularly with my work being so intense and reputation bound, so I use it as an outlet.

Some of the input from posters is very valuable to people who have poor boundaries and low self esteem.

I do think some of the threads could be a joke though.

Me too 😂

Some are ridiculous however, it is totally normal human nature to seek validation for your choices. Some people aren't fortunate enough to have people in real life to turn to for the silly conversations others may have with friends.

Someone has genuinely posted on here today about their husband eating their leftover Chinese.

It's the 'are they a cf' ones I'm always amazed by, how can they not see they are massively being taken advantage of?

I think most people know the answer when posting TBH

I like to think none of the extreme cases are real and that there’s some intern running all the site data through an algorithm to autogenerate posts designed to evoke maximum outrage/site engagement/revenue for MN.

The only ones that annoy me are AIBU threads that aren’t AIBU at all, particularly when they start with “AIBU to ask….”

You aren’t ACTUALLY asking if you’re BU to ask a question. If your thread is “AIBU to ask for your quick dinner meals” then you’re actually just asking on the wrong forum for people to give their recommendations. Don’t just post random crap under the guise of it being an AIBU!

Off my soap box now 🤣

@Greensleeves and @Ponoka7

thank you both- you’ve given me perspectives I had not really considered. I think the part about MN forming a social circle for women who don’t have that in “real life” is one I had underestimated.

also a bit relieved to know I’ve got company in my head shaking! Though, the use of AIBU when it’s not an AIBU issue doesn’t bother me so much…. I don’t mind that, it’s the questions asked that have me wondering how some people put their socks on by themselves.

and the hygiene ones. Oh god. Just wash your fucking clothes and stop asking everyone else about it.

I find the ones where a simple google would answer the question a bit annoying but don't post.

Not keen on the way AIBU has become the Relationships board over the past year or so.

This is how I see it. When my Mam was having children,she had her mother her and sister and a ladies club. All of these were her outlets to talk about the small decisions that can sometimes feel huge. Unfortunately many of us don't have the security of a community anymore

AIBU is a bit of a dumping ground for posts of various subjects. And sometimes people just want to chat and start daft AIBUs, I don't see the harm really.

I agree, I actually think I may have had enough all together. Without sounding like an absolute twat there are just no decent threads lately. I used to look forward to sitting down with a brew & having a browse at mumsnet. Now just think what a bunch of utter bullshit. Who the hell are these people I don't know anyone in real-life who thinks like this. (Apart from this thread op, I enjoyed this one😃)

Yes, the questions that could be answered far more reliably using google are annoying.

If you wanted to know the passport rules or luggage allowance for a country or airline that you're not actually going to specify, why on earth wouldn't you just look on gov.uk or the airline's website instead of posting 'AIBU to ask if I can travel on this passport/use this bag for my hand luggage'.

Because you get a range of contradictory answers and the thread will probably descend into an argument about paying to sit together anyway.

Or if people want to chat, why not post in chat? That's just as active.

Aibu isn’t generally about seeking information. It’s about seeking validation.

The amazing thing about it is not that people post situations where they’re obviously not unreasonable. It’s that there are always posters who will insist that they are unreasonable for not inviting people who spat on them to their wedding or whatever.

‘AIBU to ask what time Tesco closes’

I wondered if they were just made up to create traffic. I don’t believe that there are as many people using MN as it’s owners might like us to believe.

It’s so negative! Just whinge, whinge, whinge everyday. So much moaning & groaning.

That's not quite what the situation was, is it? 🙄

At least those are all genuine AIBUs and not really boring, mundane questions posted here for traffic eg should I change baby formula brands?

I think many posters lack confidence in their own thoughts. Many man are obv abusive , and have ground down their spouses to a point where they doubt what is obvious to everyone else. In real life people will put on a front ,and often not until you hear they are divorcing or whatever

I’m fairness, I often hate the replies too. Someone will post a straightforward parking problem and get replies demanding diagrams. It doesn’t always need a diagram

I know what threads I like to see - the occasional parking thread, ones that make me laugh and ones where you can see how some impartial advice from someone anonymous would help. Housekeeping and baby names sometimes too. And I like the thought that if someone is in trouble or worried, that someone could have an answer or suggestion for them.

I don't like ones that remind me of that lockdown tips and ideas facebook group. And I don't like questions that you can easily google or find out for yourself.