Consultant recommending nursery for 18 month old DD to improve speech

[TakeMetoNY]

I’m a SAHM and this is my first child. DD was having reviews with a consultant as when she was born she was in NICU, but they’re happy her development is fine and have discharged her. Regarding speech, she babbles, copies the odd word we say (doesn’t use it independently), and knows some animal sounds. She points, understands everything etc. I take her to baby classes most days which she enjoys, but the consultant said whilst her speech is not quite delayed, they feel her speech would improve more if she was in nursery for just a couple of hours to benefit from being alongside other children. Everything I’ve read goes against this, that children tend to benefit from age 2.5 onwards, that they are best off with 1 to 1 care rather than the 3 to 1 in nursery, and that a couple of hours a week would be really hard for children as a week is too long for them to wait for the next session and if anything they’re better going more often. DD is quite sensitive and clingy and I don’t feel is emotionally ready. We plan to send her in a years time but we can afford it now should it be beneficial for her. So many people I’ve spoken to have told me how their child has thrived in nursery, but my gut tells me DD is just not that child. I would hate to delay her development though. I’m thinking perhaps she could do 2 hours a few times a week after her nap, but I’m just not sure if the cons of her being extremely upset being without me, weigh out the pros of a POTENTIAL improvement in speech. Not sure what to do?

Agree with this. They’ll learn a lot more at home. My eldest two have needed speech therapy, the eldest is an adult now and mostly non verbal but he knows single words mostly from us constantly labelling everything from a really early age. We also had post it’s on everything like fridge, oven, microwave, bath etc and he recognises those words and can verbalise them. My daughter didn’t utter a word until she was 3 years old and her speech wasn’t understandable to others until she was 5 or 6. We did the same with her, talking through everything we were doing. Also she wanted Mr Tumble and learned to sign.

Mine didn’t go to nursery till 2.5 and they were all very early talkers. Mine did toddler groups with me, picnics in the park with friends, going to friends houses with me, lots of reading, chatting to granny on the phone, food shopping, soft play.

nope. This is not true.
Force them in at an early age when they are clingy and you retain separation issues right up to reception.

So much of what we do now with our kids which is seen as normal goes AGAINST basic child psychology and develooment. It breaks my heart it really does.
Children under 3 do not NEED nursery, because, depsite all the lovely talk around and exciting stimualting environment, the primary need of a child under 3 is to develp and secure relationships. So it is more important that they have good relationships with familiar and regular people, than it is to have an exciting environment. Babies and toddlers need primarily to have secure attachment. That comes before anything else.

Many of our nurseries, although excellent with ofsted outstanding etc, have too many people, and too many changes of staff to provide enough continuity.
There was a peice of research done in a good well respected nursery. It followed one child for 6 months and looked at how many adults they came into contact with. The child was in nursery every day for Mum/dad's working day, 5 days a week. Due to staff turnover (which was actually low in this nursery, considered to be pretty stable) holidays, changed of shifts, and moving from baby room to toddler room during that 6 months, the child was looked after by 57 different adults.

We persist in the idea that toddlers NEED nursery. They don't. They need attachment. Love, Security. etc.

Sounds just like my 18 month old and I'm not in the least bit concerned!

Great post steppemum. Agree it's very worrying that people see a 'clingy' 2 year old as a problem to be solved, rather than a typical developmental stage.

One to one time with an attentive parent is far more beneficial for an 18 month old. Ignore the consultant, carry on how you are and your DD will learn in her own time.

@steppemum great post.

Both my children were clingy until about 3. I was criticised so much for it! I kept them close as that was what they wanted at the time. We went to lots of playgroups and often they sat on my lap and played with something on my lap. I was teased and criticised how they wouldn’t leave me. Everyone banged on about them needing to be independent etc.

One is now at university the other side of the world and the other has just started their A level exams, calmly and without me getting involved with UCAS forms, revision etc. Both (so far) steady and independent.

If an 18 month old is clingy, let them cling, they are just watching and taking their time. No need to rush them. As for speech, 18 months is far too early to worry. My advice is relax and keep baby with you if you have that option.

From the other side - my DD was in a creche from 3 months old and she had delayed speech. So I would not necessairly say nursey is the silver bullet.