Inviting ex to the wedding

[Leftie202]

My fiancé wants to invite his ex to our wedding. I don’t want any ex’s there at all, we are having a small wedding with only close friends and close family. Less than 50 guests. The thing is, his best friend is now with his ex, in a relationship. They don’t live together but I would say it’s serious. I have never met her and don’t really intend to. I don’t want her there, but fiancé says he can’t not if she’s with his best mate! My reason for not wanting her there is because I don’t think any of our ex’s should be invited. So, aibu? I haven’t said absolutely not, but I’ve said how I feel.

Sorry but I think it's really unreasonable to impose such a blanket rule about exes, especially when this person is the partner of your fiance's best friend.

Not inviting her 'because you don't want any exes there' is not a proper/ full explanation. WHY don't you want any exes there? Why is this such a blanket rule you feel you need?

Are you insecure about exes? And if so, why is that? Are you really in a strong enough place in your relationship to be getting married?

At this point, you are getting married, and this woman/ his ex should be neither here nor there to you, she's not a threat. As PP have said, she's not even coming as his ex or his friend, she's coming as his best friends (serious) partner.

YABU and I think you need to get over things like this if you are going to have a strong marriage.

I'd normally say no, but if she's with his best friend, it would be odd NOT to invite her if everyone else would be attending with a partner.

Have you not set the date or venue

you say hopefully marry abroad

they have been Together 3 times as long as you were so he sounds committed to her

yes he may have cheated with her on his ex wife but that’s not your issue iyswim

It will have been a damn sight harder for your fiancé to deal with his ex taking up with his best mate than it is for you to cope with her being at the wedding. He got through that and the friendship survived. Maybe think about that before making things awkward again because of some vague ‘weird’ feeling.

Six months isn't much of a relationship.

She's spent three times longer in a relationship with the best man.

She's only coming as best man's partner.

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

My ex was dating my best friend so was invited to our 80 people wedding (which felt like a large wedding to me). He also did our photographs for us. Didn't feel odd but I wouldn't have invited him were he not dating her at the time.

So I don't see an issue inviting her.

Reading this has made me realise that I've been an ex at a wedding twice - I'd not really thought of it like that. I have two exes that I've remained friends with (one is my DH's best friend and was best man at our wedding). It just didn't feel like a big deal (I'm now hoping that was also the case for both the wives, though I'm pretty sure that's also true!).

But it does feel weird to you, and that makes it harder. Maybe you'd feel better if you met her? Ultimately, if you feel really weird about it, of course you don't have to invite her, but, as she's involved with your DP's best friend, that could have a long term ripple effect, so it's not to be taken lightly.

Forgot to add, dh and I were invited to my ex's wedding to my bf. Not only was it not weird but I was referenced in the Best man's speech as the couple first met each other on my first date with him. We all found it hilarious particularly since I was 9 months pregnant at the time with my dh.

If you aren't happy about her being there, then she doesn't come. It would be a nail in the coffin for the friendship though. Thinking back two of my ex bfs attended my wedding. We both dated a lot of other people in our circle before we got together, they were in the friendship group, so it would have been odd not to invite them.