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Original poster

Breastfeeding advice - posting for traffic

86 replies

desperateforhelpfff · 03/05/2022 23:21

Sorry to post here, but responses are usually fast...

My DS2 is almost 1 week old.

I had him latched on in hospital from the moment he was born basically. It was all fine but then my nipples started hurting so much, I could barely continue.

I managed to struggle on, screaming in pain each feed. The midwives checked the latch and said it was fine. Then both nipples started bleeding. Anyway, I gave my breasts a break for 24 hours and gave him formula when I got home. I braved putting him on again today and it didn't hurt as much.

My issue now is that the breast alone isn't enough for him to get full. He was feeding for a good hour each side and was still starving and extremely frustrated. So I topped him up with formula after. I don't want this to affect my supply. But he really was just so angry and actually getting frustrated at the breast by the end, because he was hungry and nothing settled him.

My first son got so frustrated at the breast by the end, that he refused to latch on at all. This is bringing back horrible memories.

How can I prevent this from happening again ? He just doesn't seem full, even after 2 hours of feeding. Something must be wrong ! Any tips ? Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'm really tired.

OP posts:
Rainingoflamp · 03/05/2022 23:23

Has he been checked for tongue tie?

Original poster
desperateforhelpfff · 03/05/2022 23:25

@Rainingoflamp not specifically I don't think. He had all his newborn checks etc. who would check him for tongue tie ? The HV?

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 03/05/2022 23:25

No proper advice but a massive hug. Do you have someone bringing you food and lots and lots of water? Motherhood is hard and you need taking care of xx

Danikm151 · 03/05/2022 23:26

get him checked for tongue tie. Try nipple shields for a few feeds.

Feckingfeck · 03/05/2022 23:26

Do you think he could be frustrated because the bottle flows quicker?

Have you tried to time feeds on an app, they can feed up to 45 mins at that age per hour so that means every 15 mins really 😳

Have tou tried a dummy if he is doing it for comfort?

Alternatively have you tried passing him to someone else he could be looking for it because he can smell you?

Good luck Biscuit

Hallibob · 03/05/2022 23:27

My DS was cleared for tongue tie when checked by the senior midwife in hospital...got home and the HV checked and said he had quite a severe one and it was snipped at 2 weeks old.

Didn't really help with our feeding issues, he also fed for hours and hours yet wasn't putting weight on so at 5 weeks I got fed up of feeding both ways and doing nothing else and switched to 100% formula

Discovereads · 03/05/2022 23:28

Despite what the midwives told you, it does sound like a latching problem has kicked off your struggles. A proper latch should not hurt so much that you are screaming in pain nor result in bleeding nipples. I’d go to the breastfeeding network and get some advice on how to get help with latching and perhaps assess your DC for tongue tie.

The bottle is easier for babies to get milk out of, so they often develop bottle preference and then refuse the breast. But he shouldn’t have breastfed for two hours and still been hungry afterwards. A latching problem plus lower supply due to the formula feeds are creating a vicious circle. You could pump to improve supply between feeds as you explore tThe latching issue.

OfstedOffred · 03/05/2022 23:31

Get him properly checked for tongue tie - look for a local IBCLC etc.

Try nipple shields in the mean time, it will take away the struggle to latch, help him drain the breast, relieving his frustration and helping your supply.

Rainingoflamp · 03/05/2022 23:31

Midwife or HV have hopefully been trained to assess.

It can be difficult in some areas to find someone who knows what they’re doing. Some are better than others. You should be able to contact MW up to 28 days or HV.

www.laleche.org.uk/tongue-tie/

Original poster
desperateforhelpfff · 03/05/2022 23:32

Thanks everyone. I will take all of these on board.

My mum is helping me thank god.

But my two year old toddler is really struggling with all the change I think. He keeps jumping all over me and newborn when I am trying to feed and I just keep crying because I feel so guilty that I can't give my toddler all of my attention when he needs me. I'm just really hormonal, but I definitely just feel so guilty about not having the same time for my toddler and relying on other people to help take care of him. I miss him.

OP posts:
TheCheeseBadge · 03/05/2022 23:32

His behaviour today sounds like he's feeding to increase your supply. It's exhausting but temporary - look up cluster feeding. If you keep topping up with formula you'll end up decreasing your supply and he'll get more frustrated at the breast.

Your nipples can get very tender to begin with but it shouldn't be agony and you shouldn't bleed, so you definitely need someone to observe a feed if it gets that bad again.

Those early days are so tough, but it does get easier. If you have a DP, make sure they're looking after you so you can look after the baby.

Ponderingwindow · 03/05/2022 23:33

It’s also supply and demand. Not nursing for 24 hours is a big break when you don’t have a well established supply.

you might try pumping for a few minutes after feeds to increase supply.

nipple shields are also amazing for protecting sore nipples.

TheCheeseBadge · 03/05/2022 23:34

Also, your toddler will get used to the baby, it's all very new to all of you right now but I'm sure they'll be best friends (and double trouble!) before you know it.

Rainingoflamp · 03/05/2022 23:37

If you do have to go private then

lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/

and
www.tongue-tie.org.uk/find-a-practitioner/

Daydreamsinsantafe · 03/05/2022 23:44

Congratulations!

ive had this problem with all of my babies. Terrible pain, topping up, paranoid about supply(especially around now) and then going on to successfully exclusively BF and into toddlerhood.
The key is to get a good latch and keep your baby at the breast. Google the nose to nipple technique. Have your baby’s tummy flat against your body, make sure they have a full mouth of breast(not just nipple) and their chin touching you.
The top ups have reduced your supply and the only way to bring it back up is to stop them and let your baby keep emptying your breasts. A pump will cause problems at this point. It needs to be baby. It’s exhausting physically & emotionally but it will work.

These early days of BF are when most decide to stop. It’s gruelling & takes sheer grit & determination but you can do it.

TraceyLacey · 03/05/2022 23:47

New babies do feed constantly, to stimulate supply.

Could your toddler help, eg bring nappies and wipes? Or could care for a doll or cuddly toy while you are feeding?

Babyccino11 · 04/05/2022 00:10

It sounds as if there may potentially be a latch/milk transfer issue and you would really benefit from a skilled feeding assessment.
Unfortunately health visitors and midwives often have limited training in breastfeeding. The quickest and most skilled support would be from a lactation consultant (IBCLC). You can search for one near you here
lcgb.org/
This service would be private though unfortunately.
On the NHS you can ask to be referred to the infant feeding team via your health visitor, midwife or GP, you may even be able to self refer.
There will likely be other local breastfeeding support groups that your HV can give you info on or have a look at your local LLL website.
Good luck with it all x

Original poster
desperateforhelpfff · 04/05/2022 00:27

Babyccino11 · 04/05/2022 00:10

It sounds as if there may potentially be a latch/milk transfer issue and you would really benefit from a skilled feeding assessment.
Unfortunately health visitors and midwives often have limited training in breastfeeding. The quickest and most skilled support would be from a lactation consultant (IBCLC). You can search for one near you here
lcgb.org/
This service would be private though unfortunately.
On the NHS you can ask to be referred to the infant feeding team via your health visitor, midwife or GP, you may even be able to self refer.
There will likely be other local breastfeeding support groups that your HV can give you info on or have a look at your local LLL website.
Good luck with it all x

I'll contact them tomorrow, first thing ! This needs sorting asap, Or it will be all over again.

OP posts:
ShopoholicIn · 04/05/2022 00:37

Hi OP,
Congratulations on your new baby. Hugs to you as I know it can be hard work. Some great advice above.
After your baby has fed from a breast do you feel its empty? As pp have suggested, try pumping. I was also recommended that you start feeding the baby before they get very hungry, to avoid them getting frustrated.. but if they are already feeding for two hours you might feel they are constantly feeding. Hang in there.. I had similar issues with my DC , with milk coming in after a few days of delivery. But once the feeding sets in it will get easier. 😌

Original poster
desperateforhelpfff · 04/05/2022 00:48

ShopoholicIn · 04/05/2022 00:37

Hi OP,
Congratulations on your new baby. Hugs to you as I know it can be hard work. Some great advice above.
After your baby has fed from a breast do you feel its empty? As pp have suggested, try pumping. I was also recommended that you start feeding the baby before they get very hungry, to avoid them getting frustrated.. but if they are already feeding for two hours you might feel they are constantly feeding. Hang in there.. I had similar issues with my DC , with milk coming in after a few days of delivery. But once the feeding sets in it will get easier. 😌

I never feel like my breasts are empty or full. They do look and feel bigger. But they always seem around the same kind of consistency. Quite soft.

OP posts:
Flaxmeadow · 04/05/2022 00:57

Only use one side each feed. Don't swap over until next feed. Read books with toddler while feeding baby
Good luck

Tinuviel · 04/05/2022 00:58

There is a free breastfeeding support helpline that you can phone. It's staffed by volunteers from some of the breastfeeding support organisations who have successfully breastfed and are very well trained.

It sounds very much like a latching problem and someone can help you with that over the phone.

Please give them a ring and get the support you need. I'm not sure if it works the same way now but when I volunteered, if you phoned from your landline, it put you through to someone in your local area (if there was someone available). However, that may not be the case now.

The number is 0300 100 0212 and they are open 9.30am - 9.30pm.

VintageVest · 04/05/2022 01:12

Hi OP, just wanted to drop a link to a really good video which explains how to get a good latch and why it is so important. A lot of issues with pain, injury and poor milk transfer can be caused by a poor latch, so it's really important to understand a bit about it. Hope this may help a little. Good luck!

VintageVest · 04/05/2022 01:58

Flaxmeadow · 04/05/2022 00:57

Only use one side each feed. Don't swap over until next feed. Read books with toddler while feeding baby
Good luck

Current advice is actually to offer the 2nd breast once baby is finished with the 1st. They may or may not be interested however.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 04/05/2022 03:06

Multiple midwives missed my childs tongue tie (I insisted on second opinions because their sibling had it which was also missed). Both times I had to go to a tongue tie practitioner for them to spot it. Midwives are trained to do a visual check, a qualified practitioner does 7 different checks feeling how the tongue moves around in the mouth, how far it can poke out etc only one of them is visual. It's worth getting checked if you can afford it.

Also look at breastfeeding support groups in your area, again they gave me loads more support than the midwives and HVs and really helped with technique. I think one called the flipple helped me so is worth a google (apparently there are some videos on youtube). Someone actually came to my house as for various reasons I was struggling to get out much