Breastfeeding advice - posting for traffic

[desperateforhelpfff]

Sorry to post here, but responses are usually fast...

My DS2 is almost 1 week old.

I had him latched on in hospital from the moment he was born basically. It was all fine but then my nipples started hurting so much, I could barely continue.

I managed to struggle on, screaming in pain each feed. The midwives checked the latch and said it was fine. Then both nipples started bleeding. Anyway, I gave my breasts a break for 24 hours and gave him formula when I got home. I braved putting him on again today and it didn't hurt as much.

My issue now is that the breast alone isn't enough for him to get full. He was feeding for a good hour each side and was still starving and extremely frustrated. So I topped him up with formula after. I don't want this to affect my supply. But he really was just so angry and actually getting frustrated at the breast by the end, because he was hungry and nothing settled him.

My first son got so frustrated at the breast by the end, that he refused to latch on at all. This is bringing back horrible memories.

How can I prevent this from happening again ? He just doesn't seem full, even after 2 hours of feeding. Something must be wrong ! Any tips ? Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'm really tired.

My baby is 11 weeks and I had a terrible Time with breastfeeding at the start. Excruciating latch, poor weight gain, then insufficient supply.

I hired a private lactation consultant and it was the best money I ever spent. All sorted and now exclusively breastfeeding my chubby baby with no problems! I also have another 2 kids and they got used to me feeding.

Get help now would be my advice.
congrats!* *

You’re doing amazing. Well done for persevering and congratulations on your new baby. Is your toddler enjoying being an older sibling?

I am an advocate for fed is best. Certain breastfeeding charities despise this saying but doing what is best for baby AND mum AND your family, is the most important thing you can do. While I was a volunteer breastfeeding support peer, I was never allowed to say fed is best, but sometimes bf can be detrimental to a woman. Choosing to feed artificial milk is definitely not something to be looked down upon. I hate that women who choose not to or cannot breastfeed are made to fee inferior.

Firstly, I would recommend ruling out any health implications that may be hindering the process. There’s no point feeding on demand if you aren’t producing any milk (less than 1% of women). Tongue tie check. Make an appointment with a breastfeeding support peer or an independent lactation consultant to ensure latch is all good. Despite what anyone says, some women do experience pain in the first few weeks of feeding even if the baby’s latch is perfect. I’m still feeding a 2.5yr old and hormonal changes each month sometimes cause my nipples to hurt.

Baby could be feeding more frequently to increase your supply. That does happen very often throughout ‘leap’ weeks. The first two weeks are always a drain. I always used to set up camp on the sofa with the tv, snacks, water and toddler. I know my toddlers always enjoyed just sitting with mum and the new baby and being a little helper fetching things for me!

The formula feeding top ups are actually very counter productive. A new born’s stomach is the size of a walnut. I can definitely understand why a lot of mothers do offer formula too as it over fills the baby’s stomach and they end up having a big snooze afterwards (like me after a huge roast dinner). I did exactly this with our first baby and by doing so meant my breasts never produced enough milk for him. Supply and demand, so the boobs assumed the baby wasn’t needing more milk. With our further three children, I explicitly never purchased formula or had any in the house as well as no pumps or bottles, so I had to breastfeed (my choice). That allowed my supply to increase and then regulate.

The most productive thing you can do to establish your supply is ditch the formula altogether and feed on demand. Which sounds all well and good but in reality with hundreds of other things to juggle, isn’t always possible. Offer both breasts each feed. Do you have hydrogel breast discs in the UK? They’re a life saver in the early weeks of feeding.

Either way, what ever you choose to do, breastfeeding is a very very very very tiny proportion of parenting. My eldest was breastfed for only a few months yet my other 3 children were still breastfeeding at age 3. There is zero difference in their health, bond with me, IQ etc. They all enjoy fruit and junk food equally. You just need to do what is best for you and your family. Enjoy the newborn days :-)

Congratulations on your new baby.

Are you drinking enough water? You need to be sloshing in the stuff.
Are you eating enough protein? The more the better.

I had to top up with formula because dd was just hungry but then I found out about fenugreek. That was my game changer. I took 2 tsp 4 x daily for two years. Apparently your wee is supposed to smell of maple syrup but mine never did (I don’t think).

I got my first letdown at 7 weeks after about a week of the fenugreek and after that it was plain sailing. Not easy, mind you, I had to be aware of doing my side of it right but we dropped the formula and all went well. I fed for almost three years.

Also, I always had a slow flow. I was 45 minutes per side for a long time. That takes a huge amount of time out of a day. A girl in my mothers group was five minutes from go to whoa.

As others have said get him checked for a tongue tie, feeding in a laid back position with him down your body instead can help with a tongue tie latch short term (my DS had one).
Things to help supply lots of oats, lots of water and lots of cuddles.
If giving a top up Google how to pace feeding and ask your midwife/hv how much it will be a very small amount 30-40 ml. Bottle teets hit a auto swallow reflex so people will say oh they were clearly hungry because they drsnk it all.......except like startle reflex they will do it automatically. Tap just above their lip with the teet if they don't open they aren't hungry.

Fussing is also normal he is cluster feeding to build supply. If you can afford it then a lactation consultant is worth their weight in gold.

Your toddler will adjust lots of come read a book or special time with grandparents etc. Buy a muktipacket of cars or something incase friends only bring baby a present and give him one.

Hi congratulations on your new baby.

there is a breastfeeding support line you can call for advice
www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

so when you feed formula the baby gets the satisfaction of a faster flow over having to work for the milk from the breast so the frustration is likely this.
babies at this age also cluster feed and it looks like they are not getting enough- crying at the boob, punching, slapping, headbutting, latching off and on but it is all normal and how they increase your supply.

the best thing to do is have plenty of skin to skin contact, feed on demand and try not to give up on your hardest day.
I would avoid giving formula for now until you have an established supply - if you do give formula make sure you pump at the same time so your boobs know that baby needs to feed and needs milk so they produce the same amount for the next day.

and for the nipple soreness search for nipple soothing pads- there is a brand which I’ll come back to post once I find it that i used when my nipple was so bad I’d lost a chunk of it.
I have been in your position crying at every feed, I have worried about producing enough milk and dreaded the cluster feeding but I’m currently writing this breast feeding my 6 month old.
you can do this.

however formula is awesome too and ultimately your mental health and enjoyment of your baby is the most important thing right now

Multi-Mam Compresses – Intensive Care and Treatment of Sore and Irritated Nipples - 12 Individually Packaged Compresses of 1.5g Gel Infused, White www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09TVGV4PB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NBEE8KCN8CV9XHG9R76W

they are pricey but if you cut each pad in half you double the 12

Thanks for everyone's comments.

Regarding the pumping.. with my first son, he refused to latch onto the breast much earlier than this one.

I think by day 3 it was a struggle and I could basically no longer feed him from the breast.

So I got really into the exclusively pumping thing. I even hired a hospital grade pump. But no matter how hard I tried and how often I pumped, I could never get more than a bottle of milk a day for him. I pumped 8-10 times a day etc and would come away with maybe 80 ml of milk at the end of the day.

I've also pumped a bit this time, but the amounts I get are so tiny.

I'm struggling, but I'm doing a lot better than last time I guess.

Last time by this point he got formula and then one bottle of pumped milk a day. This time it's the other way around. He gets the breast and maybe one or two bottles of formula when he just won't settle and always after feeding on the breast first.

I'll call a lactation consultant in the morning. I can't see it working out otherwise. I watched that video and a woman was able to squirt milk out of her nipple.. when I squeeze my nipple I get a dew drops of milk and not a spraying like she did..

You don't mention lansinoh cream, that's hugely important to stop your boobs hurting in the initial weeks. It's magic stuff, get some. I couldn't get on with nipple shields, but those may be worth a try. At 1 week old, it could be cluster feeding where your boobs are just over-used or tongue tie; look up any breastfeeding groups in your area, osteopath sessions, la leche League etc, hopefully you can find somewhere for support. Cluster feeding doesn't last long if you don't top up, just a few nights, then repeat at stages like 10 weeks, 4 months etc. Good luck!

Your 2 year old will be fine with a few hugs, try not to take on everything at once. If you're not getting help and are just too uncomfortable then use formula, just do what you need to get through this stage

Is he coming away from the breast naturally? Is he definitely still hungry? He may like the bottle as it flows quickly and formula bulks stomach and takes longer to digest so feels fuller. You can express to keep your flow established.

I use the cream and also the compresses someone suggested on here. I'm also air drying them with my own breast milk and also dipping my nipples in salt water. I think that having a 24 hour break, plus doing all these things is what enabled me to even carry on and I'm not bleeding at the moment. But nipples are getting a little sore again.. of course, as he's feeding for long periods.

He comes off one of my boobs sometimes on his own. Occasionally, he will come off that one after 10 minutes and go to sleep for a bit. The other one, he absolutely hates !

In terms of pumping, do you think I should do it after feeding him? Like I said before, I really got nowhere with pumping for my last baby. It made me dry up even more I feel. Maybe I'm just one of those people who can't do it and doesn't have the supply ?

If you've done all that and still have pain then it sounds like tongue tie is a strong possibility. Push the midwives hard for a referral, just call up this morning. Explain all you've been doing and there's still pain. I hope it gets sorted quickly.

Ouch.

Try feeding on rotation, left breast one feed, right the next and bottle the third. That way each side can get a good rest and heal and you send messages to you body to make milk. When you are healed, you can gradually increase supply. This way each boob gets a 12 hour rest if you have a kid that feed every 4 hours. This keeps up supply more.

Midwife said the little chomper would give up breast feeding...if I gave a bottle... Well lo did decide to stop... Two and a half years later.

Feed as much as you can bear bottle in between.

That's a good idea. I've been doing just both boobs and then formula it he just won't settle.

He had 270 ml yesterday. Seems like a lot !

I don't hear him swallow a lot when he drinks from my breast. Are you supposed to hear them swallow a lot ?

I also have no idea what let down feels like

Don’t jump to conclusions that “breast alone is not enough to fill him”, and don’t top up with formula. The more he feeds the more milk you will produce. This happens very quickly, eg they can spend a day cluster feeding and by the next morning you’ll be bursting. He and your breasts are designed to figure out the right balance. So whenever he cries, put him on boob, even if you think they’re empty. The milk gets produced as the baby suckles, so you don’t have to feel milk in there for the baby to be getting some. Persevere, no bottle, when cry get boob, and you’ll soon find your cadence. It’s SO worth it. Good luck.

I totally get the logic in this too. The issue is that now he gets really angry and wants to come off the breast after a while . No matter how much I then try to put him back, he won't. I had it with my first baby and I never managed to get him to go back..

Ask to be referred to your local infant feeding team - they'll have more knowledge and can watch you feed. I don't think you've said anything that necessarily means you have low supply - you basically just have to feed feed feed for the first few weeks and your supply increases based on demand. Give small top ups if necessary but always feed first. The infant feeding team can check weight gain and help with a plan to remove formula top ups/get you in a routine for mix feeding if you prefer. You're doing a great job, don't be disheartened!

He might just be finished - try other methods of soothing for a bit and then try to feed again if you think he needs it

Sorry that was meant to be a reply to your last post OP!

I watched that video and a woman was able to squirt milk out of her nipple.. when I squeeze my nipple I get a dew drops of milk and not a spraying like she did..

Thats still perfectly normal. I could never spray milk either, but then I never leaked between feeds. It’s kind of reassuring though as it means you are definitely producing milk, so can feed him if he gets the hang of it and any tongue tie is corrected.

I never had squirty boobs, the milk comes and it's fine, you don't need to feel a big let-down for it to be there either, I rarely felt it but my boobs were enough. I wouldn't bother with pumping either, your boobs are tired and sore, so just rest them when you can. Ideally just feed from the go on as then the cluster feeding will stop, but if you need to sleep then better to give a little formula instead of pumping, it's rest that you need. Lots of water to drink, oat snacks, sleep when you can, slather boobs in lansinoh to recover.

It'll sound really basic, but if he's coming off does he maybe need winding?

That's reassuring ! When I saw that woman spraying her breast milk it freaked me out a bit. I had no idea that can happen.. haha..

Yeah so when he does come off, which happens sometimes. I do burp him. This morning he's actually come off both sides. But he wants to go back quite quickly..

There's a huge range of normal, I was panicking early days about whether there was enough (there was) while a friend drenched the bed in milk! My DS was 3 when he pulled off the boob to see a drop of milk and squealed "Oh no what's that white thing mummy, is it broken?".

How are your boobs feeling this morning? And is he getting sleepy yet to give you a break?

There's a huge range of normal, I was panicking early days about whether there was enough (there was) while a friend drenched the bed in milk! My DS was 3 when he pulled off the boob to see a drop of milk and squealed "Oh no what's that white thing mummy, is it broken?".

How are your boobs feeling this morning? And is he getting sleepy yet to give you a break?