Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday parties and phones (8 year olds)

53 replies

mrsfoof · 03/05/2022 07:46

DN attended a birthday party yesterday. She's in yr 3 so the birthday child was turning 8 - other guests were mainly 7 or 8.
It was an activity party but one where you have to wait your turn rather than 'doing the thing' all the time (I don't want to out myself by naming the activity, but think bowling rather than laser tag...)
Out of the 12 kids, 4 brought a phone with them. So naturally, almost ALL the kids gravitated towards the phones and interest was soon lost on the (good) activity in favour of watching videos / playing games on the phones. Even those who still wanted to do the activity got bored as their team mates had to be cajoled into putting the phone away and having their go so the flow was lost.
DSis is really miffed that DN was watching Tiktok videos on other kids' phones at the party (she doesn't have access at home and it never crossed her mind that she might be accessing it at a party) but doesn't blame the host who's child wasn't one of the phone owners and had a hard time trying to get the others to put their phones away.
AIBU to think that you don't send your primary-aged child to a party with their phone?

OP posts:
Beamur · 03/05/2022 07:47

Nope. Personally I don't think kids this age should have phones either..

Newusername3kidss · 03/05/2022 07:56

That is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard! I don’t know any 8 year old with phone. We’ve done lots of bowling / climbing parties etc where you have to wait your turn and the kids just chat / play with their friends. Such odd behaviour. My 8 year old also doesn’t have a clue about Tiktok!!

MummyJ12 · 03/05/2022 08:11

YANBU! Even if I was minded to let my 8 year old to have a phone, there’s no way I’d allow for them to have it in this situation. We have had this exact same thing though with a little party guest and spoke to the child saying we were really worried that the phone was going to get damaged, and joked with her, what if a bowling ball squished it?! She soon let us keep it safe for her! The phone was put away until the end of the party. Job done.
it happens, it’s rubbish. Just different parenting styles. Some parents like their child having a phone as they have tracking apps.

newname12345 · 03/05/2022 08:15

Newusername3kidss · 03/05/2022 07:56

That is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard! I don’t know any 8 year old with phone. We’ve done lots of bowling / climbing parties etc where you have to wait your turn and the kids just chat / play with their friends. Such odd behaviour. My 8 year old also doesn’t have a clue about Tiktok!!

DS 'had' a phone when he was 8, but it was definitely for us rather than him ie it really was so he could play games on his rather than ours when we were out.

He would never take it with him to a birthday party back then - he only really started to use it when he was in Yr 6 (10/11).

Marvellousmadness · 03/05/2022 08:28

An 8 yo with a phone. Watching tiktoks Jezus. Their parents must have given up on parenting :(

Original poster
mrsfoof · 03/05/2022 13:37

Thanks for all your support. I thought it was a bit mad but wondered if I was maybe a bit out of touch (my DCs are a little older).

OP posts:
Sunnyville · 03/05/2022 17:42

Were the parents there.? I would have said something.

DockOTheBay · 03/05/2022 17:47

YANBU
8 year olds shouldn't have phones anyway, and definitely not tiktok or other social media apps.
I probably would have said something like "right time to put the phone away X, let's do such and such" but I'm a teacher and pretty blunt so I don't feel bad telling other people's kids what to do 🤣

mindutopia · 03/05/2022 18:17

Dd9 has an 8 year old friend with an iPhone. We’ve had the same issue with parties and play dates. Unfortunately, the parents’ parenting skills are not fantastic. A few weeks ago dd went to play at her house (first and last time that will be happening), and they allowed her and their dd to walk alone about 2 miles along a narrow fast road to go visit another friend and back. Hmm

Original poster
mrsfoof · 03/05/2022 18:19

Sunnyville · 03/05/2022 17:42

Were the parents there.? I would have said something.

No. Kids were dropped off.

OP posts:
RogueBorg · 03/05/2022 18:30

I uséd to teach LKS2 and 8 and 9 yr olds with phones are depressingly common. Given that many parents never say no to their kids anymore it’s not much of a reach to understand how they’d all appear with them at a party 🙄.

purpleboy · 03/05/2022 19:00

I've not encountered this yet, DD is 8 and only a couple of kids in her year have phones.
If it was me hosting, I would be telling the kids to put their phones away, and any that didn't, I would tell their parents how antisocial they were, I would possibly refrain from inviting those kids again. I appreciate that isn't your call though.
It's such a shame kids so young are A) given phones and B) allowed access to social media, it can't come as a surprise this generation of kids are experiencing a MH crisis.

RogueBorg · 03/05/2022 19:01

Totally agree @purpleboy 😢

PinkSyCo · 03/05/2022 19:41

I find this really sad. I feel sorry for the birthday girl/boy and their parents, and also for the kid’s with lazy arse parent’s who inappropriately buy them phones just for an easy life.

PinkSyCo · 03/05/2022 19:42

newname12345 · 03/05/2022 08:15

DS 'had' a phone when he was 8, but it was definitely for us rather than him ie it really was so he could play games on his rather than ours when we were out.

He would never take it with him to a birthday party back then - he only really started to use it when he was in Yr 6 (10/11).

Show quote history

Why did he need to play games when you were out?

Blarting · 04/05/2022 12:57

There is another thread currently running on AIBU, a nine year old with a phone and some very inappropriate content had been found on it.

Too much for young people to navigate and avoid, when they have access to age inappropriate things.

Poor parenting.

Blarting · 04/05/2022 12:58

@newname12345 don't they have game consuls for playing games on? Why a phone?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/05/2022 13:01

Crap parenting- it’s like when parents leave a tablet out on play dates for 5yr olds- fucking stupid!

FrangipaniBlue · 04/05/2022 13:19

If I had been your DSIS I would've had no qualms about confiscating phones for the duration of the activity!

In fact I once did during a sleepover. When DS was younger we had a no phones in bedroom overnight rule. One of the mums was not happy that I'd made her previous DC hand over his phone from 10pm until the following morning. What if there had been an emergency? Erm, I would've called you Hmm

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/05/2022 14:14

FrangipaniBlue · 04/05/2022 13:19

If I had been your DSIS I would've had no qualms about confiscating phones for the duration of the activity!

In fact I once did during a sleepover. When DS was younger we had a no phones in bedroom overnight rule. One of the mums was not happy that I'd made her previous DC hand over his phone from 10pm until the following morning. What if there had been an emergency? Erm, I would've called you Hmm

I wouldn’t advise this OP, I wouldn’t send my kid with a phone at that age but you have no right to take their stuff, piss off parents, make an atmosphere just don’t!

DinoRock · 04/05/2022 14:57

This is very sad

FrangipaniBlue · 04/05/2022 22:26

We shall have to disagree @OnlyFoolsnMothers - my house my rules.

At age 10/11 there is absolutely no reason on this earth for phones to be in the bedroom overnight.

Eucalyptusbee · 04/05/2022 22:28

Newusername3kidss · 03/05/2022 07:56

That is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard! I don’t know any 8 year old with phone. We’ve done lots of bowling / climbing parties etc where you have to wait your turn and the kids just chat / play with their friends. Such odd behaviour. My 8 year old also doesn’t have a clue about Tiktok!!

Same here

Who in their right mind would get their 8 year old a phone!

Eucalyptusbee · 04/05/2022 22:30

@FrangipaniBlue I agree

Honestly this thread is just depressing. Let your children be children

They DO NOT NEED MOBILES

Ahgoonyegirlye · 04/05/2022 22:33

FFS. Not only should they not have phones but parents shouldn’t let them bring them. If that was my kids’
birthfay inwouldnhave taken the phones off them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread