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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate his furniture

56 replies

Olive180 · 01/05/2022 13:01

I moved in with DP (he's 34, I'm 33) about a year ago. He owns the flat, has lived there for 6 years, and his best guy friend lived with him as a lodger for about 3 years. The flat is very.. bachelor pad. It's sparse. All white and grey walls and very basic, functional furniture. A lot of the furniture is from Next, John Lewis and IKEA, and despite a lot of it being originally quite expensive, it's all very tacky looking. Think chrome and shiny black/white plastic covered mdf. He hasn't changed or added anything decor or furniture wise since he moved in. (Which is obviously totally fine).

I've tried suggesting updating a few bits to make it look more homely and grown up (and less tacky/teenage boy) but he refuses, says it's his furniture and he likes it. Aibu to go out and buy a few things as a suggestion? (With my own money). The coffee table especially annoys me as it's that super cheap one from Ikea, with really sharp corners, and it's a dust trap (and pretty much only ever dusted by me). I think ultimately he can't be bothered to do the shopping/looking on marketplaces part.

OP posts:
tomatoandherbs · 02/05/2022 09:02

34?

he’s lost two years since the thread you started last week about him when he was 36

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/05/2022 09:05

i would save your money

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/05/2022 09:07

pictures on the walls would be a good start

queenMab99 · 02/05/2022 09:20

I must admit, when my partner moved in with me, I found it surprisingly difficult to let go of the idea that it was MY house, for a while he still had his own house, however, when he sold it and we used some of the money for rewiring and similar improvements, I had to get used to sharing decisions about decor. I had always thought of myself as not very materialistic, but this showed me that I still had some work to do to improve myself. Later when we married I put his name on the deeds, so he felt we had equal ownership.

Labscollie · 02/05/2022 10:32

He had those things before you met. It is his place. I hope you don't make him regret asking you to move in. I would be, if I were him.

LaburnumAlpine · 02/05/2022 10:51

Are you paying rent to live there that amounts to half of his mortgage payment? Are you paying directly to the bank/ mortgage provider or to your partner's account?
If paying 1/2 mortgage directly to bank, you need to clarify what are your DPs plans for your future;
contributing to his mortgage doesn't make you a part owner of his property.

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