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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Narcissistic?

38 replies

Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 08:46

Hi,
I don't know where to start really. Just last night got to me and I am still feeling.
I had a great day with my girls friends - rarely get any time to myself. Non of us were drinking, we just had a walk and chat and some fun. My partner was there with the kids, but left me to it to have some social time.
We then returned home to host a buffet and prepare for that for 12 people.
We got chatting at the buffet and someone asked me about my job. I said I am now having to travel about once a month (I had mentioned this to my fiancé that I will travel once in May, once in June, once in July and once in September.) I didn't think anything of it until....
My partner and I were alone and he said, it would be nice for you to tell me things. I said like what? He said like you travelling away with work every month. I said I told you that. He said, well I didn't think you would be travelling every month. I said well I am for the next five months, except for august. He said well you never said that at the party, you said every month. I said well, I never got to finish my sentence as someone asked me a question. He said that he felt he was being kept out of the loop.
He then said I never mentioned a medical appointment last week. I said I did and we had a two way conversation about it. I could even tell him where we were when we had the conversation. However, he was so wrapped up and consumed in his emails on our day out when we had the conversation, he probably won't remember and he often doesn't remember our conversations or the childrens. He remembers everything for work though but not enough headspace for us at home. I find that if I don't text him with the info, he makes out I am lying and didn't tell him. He doesn't consider that he forgot.
Instead he said that as always I am always right and I always know where the conversation was and what was said etc etc. he shouted at me. Interesting that this was when everyone else had gone home and so had his kids, it was just me and my kids at home.
He was then all smiles when his son came home with his girlfriend, like nothing had happened.
I feel from his outburst that he is annoyed and maybe a little paranoid that I will be travelling with work. He travels with work once a month too and I often don't hear from him when he is away. Yet that's ok, but seems different for me.
Just to point out that he also cheated on me for almost a year with a work colleague from 2019 until 2020 when I caught them out.
Maybe he thinks I will cheat on him.
He just gets so angry with me. And nit picks on my words.
Feel like I have to think very carefully about how I word and say things. And should you ever disagree with him, you are wrong.
E.g. my son wants a PC and not a laptop. My fella got so annoyed with him because he wouldn't shift on his decision.
I am reading into something that isn't there?
Is he overreacting or am I?
Sometimes not sure what's normal any more....

OP posts:
FlipHesAnnoying · 01/05/2022 08:50

Why are you with him when he cheated on you for a while year?

newnamethanks · 01/05/2022 08:50

People expect others to behave as they do. He is expecting you will behave as he would/does.

ABoynamedsue2022 · 01/05/2022 08:54

I am reading into something that isn't there?
Is he overreacting or am I?
Sometimes not sure what's normal any more....

the fact that your thinking this way shows that all is not well in your marriage, people in ‘normal’ happy marriages don’t have to worry over wether something is normal or is proof of gaslighting/narcissism.

there’s clearly a problem, you just have to work out if your happy to continue in a marriage where you are second guessing yourself constantly.

it’s not meant to be this hard.

I walked away 5 years ago from a very narcissistic, gaslighting angry man, I had never realised how easy life is meant to be and it sometimes makes me a bit down that I had such a hard confusing life for 14 years.

good luck x

ABoynamedsue2022 · 01/05/2022 08:57

Aswell as the cheating- didn’t mention that above, sorry.

a year! A whole year.

he’s probably panicking your going to do it to him, as he remembers how easy it was to hide it from you.

sorry but he’s an arsehole. Who helped her put his dick back in when it fell out!

Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 08:57

I am a forgiving person but also financially tied. Sad but true.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 08:58

ABoynamedsue2022 · 01/05/2022 08:54

I am reading into something that isn't there?
Is he overreacting or am I?
Sometimes not sure what's normal any more....

the fact that your thinking this way shows that all is not well in your marriage, people in ‘normal’ happy marriages don’t have to worry over wether something is normal or is proof of gaslighting/narcissism.

there’s clearly a problem, you just have to work out if your happy to continue in a marriage where you are second guessing yourself constantly.

it’s not meant to be this hard.

I walked away 5 years ago from a very narcissistic, gaslighting angry man, I had never realised how easy life is meant to be and it sometimes makes me a bit down that I had such a hard confusing life for 14 years.

good luck x

I am sorry you went through this for 14 years. It's so strange how easy other peoples lives seem.
I just don't have that.
Me and the kids just seem to annoy him all the time

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2022 08:59

No. It's not narcissism. He has Cheating Twatitus and the common comorbidity Nastybastard. One of the main symptoms of the former is believing everyone else does what he does and the latter causes foul rants.

The most effective treatment is a large dose of LTB taken at the earliest opportunity.

Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 09:00

Just need to pay off my parents and then leave.
I hate feeling this way.
His kids have grown up now and they seem to avoid him more and more.
They almost seem subdued when he is around.
They get silly and giddy when he isn't here.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 09:00

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2022 08:59

No. It's not narcissism. He has Cheating Twatitus and the common comorbidity Nastybastard. One of the main symptoms of the former is believing everyone else does what he does and the latter causes foul rants.

The most effective treatment is a large dose of LTB taken at the earliest opportunity.

Sorry what's LTB?

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2022 09:02

Leave the bastard.

I'm glad you are planning to do that. You deserve better.

Itwasntmeright · 01/05/2022 09:02

OP, seriously, why are you still with this man? Where is your self respect?

ABoynamedsue2022 · 01/05/2022 09:03

Do you owe money to your parents?
could you not speak to them and explain yoir leaving him so may take longer to repay them.
im sure they would rather you and the kids be happy and take longer to get their money back.

but what your saying points to you not being happy at all, nor your children- I don’t say this very often but I think by LTB you and your kids can go on to have a happy life without him and his negativity/cheating/lying

good luck x

Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 09:03

I always come away reeling and feel like I should be the one to apologise.

OP posts:
toddlingabout · 01/05/2022 09:04

I don't think narcissist, but very insecure. Don't be bullied into not working away. Make sure you have boundaries that he is aware of and be prepared to walk away if they are crossed.

Do you know the affair has stopped? Are you certain he's not cheating on you again?

Get yourself to a position where you are not financially dependent on him. You should never stay because of that. Are you sure you want to be with him for the rest of your life? Make sure you are always in a position where you can leave, even if you don't want to.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 01/05/2022 09:04

He cheated on you
He frequently doesn't listen
He nitpicks everything you say

This isn't normal OP. Sometimes we have the 'I told you/ no you didn't' conversation because we are so busy we forget stuff but it works both ways, and fine, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. But you should never feel like you're walking on eggshells or have to text someone so you're not accused of something. That's not healthy. I don't know whether its narcissistic or not and not sure thats relevant if it's not healthy and not making you happy anyway

ABoynamedsue2022 · 01/05/2022 09:05

Itwasntmeright · 01/05/2022 09:02
OP, seriously, why are you still with this man? Where is your self respect?

very harsh, perhaps his treatment of her over the years has diminished her self respect.
the fact she’s now questioning to leave him Is amazing.

don’t be quite as harsh in the future, it’s not super helpful to be people who are requiring help and advice

Namechangeonemillion · 01/05/2022 09:11

I know that feeling OP. I have a similar feeling with my DH sometimes - because of his reaction, feeling that I’ve done something wrong when I haven’t. Also the not listening - retaining certain information but not domestic related stuff.

No advice - just solidarity. What I will say though is that the cheating would be a dealbreaker for me. I am glad you plan to leave.

Fireflygal · 01/05/2022 09:19

Op, do you hope if you have a rationale for his behaviour then you will be able to change him?

How long have you been together? Why didn't he leave after the affair?

If he is narcisstic then the pattern in relationships is

Idealise - where you feel you are soulmates, your ideas align and you seem perfect for each other. Can last for sometime, especially if not committed through children or finances. Slowly the balance changes though and you realise that it's always their agenda and needs.

Devalue - often happens when you start to assert needs, in this stage you can't do anything right and they appear angry with you all the time. You may also be smeared to friends or family, without your knowledge, so that they are seen as the victim. Whilst you are being criticised they can be charming go others.

Discard - usually as a result of an affair, often highly deceptive and you may not be aware of the affair until they have left.

Being around narcisstic people is draining, you avoid being authentic and walk on eggshells. My dc come back from their Dads feeling flat. Hard to describe but they seem low energy and almost dazed. They usually bounce back after being home for a while.

Fireflygal · 01/05/2022 09:21

Is there a large age gape between you?

teacherorpreacher · 01/05/2022 09:28

Is he cheating again? This is no way for you to exist because it is existing not living. Kick him out or leave but please op do it soon and start living again xx

Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 11:24

Yes owe quite a bit of money to my parents as they lent it for the house. Unfortunately house is in his name until we remortgage.
Have been tempted to get a loan to pay them off and then leave and sort out finances afterwards, but can't get a loan even though I can afford one, because I already have a loan at the moment for other things. Very frustrating! Parents aren't very understanding.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 11:27

I only found out about the affair because I caught him at it as he was being horrible to me for ages and I blamed myself and then one day I just decided to put a listening device in our car and I heard everything. He would never have admitted it to me. For ages I was "imagining" things.
He ended it before I confronted him. The listening device was in our car for a week before I could get it back out again. I heard everything they were doing before work and this was during lockdown so all illegal too!
I do wonder if he is doing it again or how many times he has cheated. Think he is addicted to cheating and the thrill.
Although rarely shows much thrill for me or with me.
Not that looks are everything but I am under 40, slim (size 8-10), but with curves and I am toned.My friends are surprised he cheated on me.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 11:28

We have been together 4.5 years. He has become more controlling as our relationship as moved on. He gets angry over little things.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 11:29

He is only 5 years older than me. He goes for women who are ten years younger than him or less.

OP posts:
Mummybear1993 · 01/05/2022 11:29

I would love to name and shame. Had a dream the other night that he had TWAT tattood on his forehead. Made me laugh haha

OP posts: