Breastfeeding a toddler - what would you do in my situation?

[parkrunsandpinot]

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My DD is 16m old and has been breastfed since birth never accepted a bottle, never had formula, spits out any cows milk if we give it in a sippy cup.

I'm so keen to TTC but experiencing a very short luteal phase (3 days!) so it's impossible I imagine. Certainly first few months trying haven't worked (and we conceived DD very quickly). I am definitely ovulating.

I'm really torn. I love breastfeeding and it the only way my DD takes milk. She feeds before her nap and before bed, and maybe 5-6 times a night still (comfort feeds whilst cosleeping).

Any tips for me to improve my LP whilst being able to bf still? Or if I wean her, will it matter that my DD doesn't drink milk? She eats tonnes of cheese and yoghurt. I just can't imagine her going to bed without a feed! She does start nursery soon ish so maybe that will help.

I'm just so confused about what to do. Time isn't on our sides (I'm mid 30s) so we do need to TTC soon ish. Plus don't want a huge gap. But I would have happily tandem fed and kept feeding my first born if I could just fall pregnant.

I'm also reluctant to wean as not guaranteed it'll sort my LP out and then will I regret it? I don't think I really want to feed my DD past 2 so don't plan to feed loads longer anyhow....

Anyone experienced this situation and if so... what did you do? What should I do? I'm so confused

Accidentally posted too soon! DS was a toddler at 11 months and walking, breastfed until 5.

I would try nightweaning if no success TTC in a couple more months. It might not be easy though at that age. I did it at two and a half, moved DS into his own bed in my room. He cried for five minutes for a few nights then slept through from the first night. I'm not sure if he'd have been ready before two to be honest.

I got pregnant with my second whilst bf.
If your periods have only been back 4 months I would give it a bit longer. With my first they’re returned at 3 months despite bf but the first 6 months were all over the place. And my first was two when I conceived, we weren’t trying.
my second is 20 months and my periods returned when she was 9 months but they are still not back to normal and I’m still bf. I am fairly certain I don’t ovulate every cycle but that could be age related as well as I’m past 40
id like another but I’m not stopping bf

Definitely night wean. Wear clothes at night that make access harder so they can't just graze.
Be tough and consistent. Talk to yourself beforehand to get in the zone. They don't need the milk at night. You are teaching them the difference between night and day and when we feed. You aren't being mean. You are guiding them to the next phase. Continue to feed in the day.

Just say to them the milk has "all gone" in a sing song voice. Toddlers often understand that phrase already.

It'll be tough but quicker than you think.

I fed till 2y 4 months and conceived 3 times whilst breastfeeding. You need to reduce not stop. Good luck

I was told that night feeds suppress fertility much more than day feeds. I wouldn’t stop breastfeeding but just cut down on the night feeds if possible - 5-6 feeds at night (plus co-sleeping which I think also has a negative effect on fertility) is a lot, that’s the same as many newborns so it wouldn’t be surprising if it was affecting your fertility.

I also think it’s a delicate hormonal balance that’s different for everyone, some people can conceive with still breastfeeding a lot, some can conceive while feeding a bit, some women have to stop altogether. Lots of people I know (including me) had to choose between continued breastfeeding and TTC again so you aren’t alone.

Thank you everyone some absolutely amazing advice here and hearing everyone's experiences makes me feel much less alone.

The arrival of AF this morning, combined with the guilt I feel around this has made me upset today. But I think on another day when I'm feeling stronger, I will night wean and stick to my guns and hopefully that will be the change required to conceive again......