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Needy neighbour; again

90 replies

LoveMyPiano · 30/04/2022 20:14

Update:

She now has a bike.
No escape, as she can keep up when I try to get away!
(Feel sure she has never taken a Cycling Proficiency Test.....)

But in between dodging her (in and out, in and out, in and out),
I had a much better Saturday this week - I went to a book signing and met
Sara Davies (Dragons' Den) - and ended up discussing boob sizes and being a very late starter at crochet.

The I drove through the countryside in the sunshine singing Barbra Streisand,

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 11:00

@CMajor there is a parenting one 'funny or not' started by dumbest blonde in September 2013. I dont think it's the same person.

CMajor · 01/05/2022 11:16

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 11:00

@CMajor there is a parenting one 'funny or not' started by dumbest blonde in September 2013. I dont think it's the same person.

No, probably not.
I am not seeing many threads on this topic by whoever Piano or Blonde is - so I don't think it has been years as stated by PPs here.

CMajor · 01/05/2022 11:17

@LoveMyPiano Where have you gone?

mnnewbie111 · 01/05/2022 12:17

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 10:32

Someone called dumbest blonde was posting in 2013?!

You have wayyyyy too much time on your hands.

CMajor · 01/05/2022 12:48

mnnewbie111 · 01/05/2022 12:17

You have wayyyyy too much time on your hands.

Sleuthing at it's best
I don't think this vendetta is taking off the same way as the the Needy neighbour thread though
I also don't really see the problem with the OP, or the other threads - takes all sorts and mildly entertaining
People not interested or taking offence should just scroll by rather than being bitches

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 12:55

@CMajor why were you asking me to post the link then ?

CMajor · 01/05/2022 13:05

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 12:55

@CMajor why were you asking me to post the link then ?

To see what it was about. And if connected
I like sleuthing too
But I relly dont think they are the same person

OakRowan · 01/05/2022 14:55

Ah but there's been at least 4 years of the same person posting and acknowledging their name changes, about suicidal neighbours and ridiculous situations they get into with people, baffled at how people can instantly recognise her.
That she simply must help these people, but it is ruining her own fragile MH, but she won't change or take advice but cannot stop talking about it, two different neighbours, in the same building, a man and a now a woman, who both rely utterly on OP for her dysfunctional 'support', while harassing her and self harming.
Fancy that. How unfortunate for OP that this keeps happening. Hard to imagine.

CMajor · 01/05/2022 15:15

OakRowan · 01/05/2022 14:55

Ah but there's been at least 4 years of the same person posting and acknowledging their name changes, about suicidal neighbours and ridiculous situations they get into with people, baffled at how people can instantly recognise her.
That she simply must help these people, but it is ruining her own fragile MH, but she won't change or take advice but cannot stop talking about it, two different neighbours, in the same building, a man and a now a woman, who both rely utterly on OP for her dysfunctional 'support', while harassing her and self harming.
Fancy that. How unfortunate for OP that this keeps happening. Hard to imagine.

I dont know what to look for for four years even using the search. I need to see the rest (car crash and know someone a bt like this) Two user names and back to last year only is all I am seeing - wheres the rest of the tale?

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 15:33

I'm staying out of it now after being told I have too much time on my hands. Over to you @CMajor

CMajor · 01/05/2022 15:52

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 15:33

I'm staying out of it now after being told I have too much time on my hands. Over to you @CMajor

O nooo - I cant do it. Srsly the only tthing I have seen is something else about this neighbor girl - and some man. I know you said even longer ago in 2013 but that is only a comment on an old thread. Shame someone said that do you - we've all got too much time if on a forum at all is what i say

@OakRowan You must know more than anyone - where is the rest? this cant be as nutty and long standing as you are saying surely

very intriguing and I have a bee in my bonnet now but cannot find what you are talking about might MN have deleted?

Marvellousmadness · 01/05/2022 16:01

What a weird post.
Did you think you were updating your Facebook status or something?

BOOTS52 · 01/05/2022 17:14

Has she asked you to fix her flat tyres yet or are you sneaking in and out when you see her head off on bike. Interesting meeting her at the book signing. She seems very down to earth.

kittensinthekitchen · 01/05/2022 18:28

Made these today.

Needy neighbour; again
kittensinthekitchen · 01/05/2022 18:28

Oh gosh, wrong thread.
Sorry about that

lollipoprainbow · 01/05/2022 20:25

@kittensinthekitchen that's lightened the mood 😂😂😂

GlamorousHeifer · 01/05/2022 21:04

I think @LoveMyPiano I said you wanted to be the heroine in your own little story last time you posted.
You have done nothing at this point to change my mind.

milkyaqua · 02/05/2022 01:22

I know you said even longer ago in 2013 but that is only a comment on an old thread.

It is not just a comment on an old thread. It is a thread started by DumbestBlonde, which the poster of this thread has said she used to be called.

Funny or not?

OakRowan · 02/05/2022 07:47

Just caught up, I agree with @Inklingpot
I also won't detail any of your other user names, ( your stories are super easy to find/remember/recognise under multiple names, oh its her again, she's back, over years etc) that's not allowed but OP can share all her other incarnations if they wish.

You printed off my replies to you before they got deleted, woah, good luck with building that case file, apply that energy in a different direction and you'd be able to stop posting on here.

You wind people up deliberately with what you share, while pretending not to have any control or say in your life and actions, ignore advice given in earnest that you seek from people who have given you their time for years, then don't you don't like what the consequences are. Its rude. It doesn't have to all be made up to be considered trolling, that's what people notice about you, your style is very provocative, goady and thats not ok.

No OP you don't know me as you describe, I have lovely neighbours, with healthy, mutual boundaries, I thank everything I don't live next door to you.

OakRowan · 02/05/2022 07:48

Just caught up, I agree with @Inklingpot
I also won't detail any of your other user names, ( your stories are super easy to find/remember/recognise under multiple names, oh its her again, she's back, over years etc) that's not allowed but OP can share all her other incarnations if they wish.

You printed off my replies to you before they got deleted, woah, good luck with building that case file, apply that energy in a different direction and you'd be able to stop posting on here.

You wind people up deliberately with what you share, while pretending not to have any control or say in your life and actions, ignore advice given in earnest that you seek from people who have given you their time for years, then don't you don't like what the consequences are. Its rude. It doesn't have to all be made up to be considered trolling, that's what people notice about you, your style is very provocative, goady and thats not ok.

No OP you don't know me as you describe, I have lovely neighbours, with healthy, mutual boundaries, I thank everything I don't live next door to you.

Inklingpot · 02/05/2022 08:20

There’s also some socking going on on this thread which I’ve reported.

OakRowan · 02/05/2022 08:28

There's a pattern in your posts, your many, many estranged family members who are unreasonable to you, or your not working to your satisfaction friendships with people who end up dependent on you, or your many problematic neighbours, there's a bit where you've described someone as being a writer and they need to make themselves up as a character in order to exist. And that you see yourself as having come from a higher place socially to these people around you. Sound like you do that too, writing yourself a fantasy personality.

You are the recurring person, the centre of all the disputes and terrible situations you document on here at such length, with such frequency, there's always someone present at the scene of these 'crimes' if you like, holding up their hands with a shocked surprised face, saying me? I don't know what you mean, I'm so kind, I'm just trying to help, what do you mean its none of my business, not my problem? I'm not making it worse? I can't help it.

Look at yourself first, get some help for your own very clearly detailed mental illness and professional support instead of invading the lives of vulnerable neighbours.
Have a read backof your DumbestBlonde posts, and then the rest, you are the star of your own unhappy show, performing it as light entertainment and posting about it all on here doesn't help you recover or improve your boundaries and communication skills with your family, friends and people you encounter.
Keep printing off my replies, be offended and injured by my low opinion of you, but my feelings come from experience.

I was in a mother and baby unit once, years ago, seriously ill, with my baby, like your neighbour, but I recovered and live a happy life, working full time, productive, 2 kids, nice neighbours, but an abusive family I no longer see or seek out. If I had had someone like you in my life at the time, I wouldn't have been able to protect myself from you and I would've gotten worse, not better, this is what people mean when they say its none of your business, your version of helping is incredibly harmful.

You sound older than me, maybe not, but it is never too late to take responsibility for your own good mental health and change your life. Or you could carry on like this, miserable, until your life is completely wasted and you die.
Stop blaming other people, actively seek recovery.

DontBreathe · 02/05/2022 10:35

This is mainly a response to @OakRowan

Firstly, here I am. Previously LoveMyPiano, and before that DumbestBlonde.

As a lot of your vitriol seems predicated on your belief that I have had "many usernames", and that I have "posted for years"; those are what I wish primarily to address.

I have had ONLY those two usernames; this is the third, out of necessity.
I first posted about the "Needy Neighbour" in May last year - and that was my first post (or so I thought). There WAS no "problem" with her living nearby until that time, although I knew her as an acquaintance over several years before this. She moved in in March already 7 months pregnant. SHE chose to think of me as a friend when I wasn't (it may even have played a part in her trying to get the apartment)- and I have been painfully aware of the mixed messages that she gets from me, and other people.

The ONLY time that I had posted prior was in 2013 - and I really had forgotten about that. It was a surprise to me when I came to post last May, that I actually had an account. It was never used between 2013, apart from one thread, "Funny or not?" and 2021 and I never came back (as far as I can recollect) in between - as these problems did not exist.

I am separately asking MumsNet to confirm this - for my peace of mind, not anyone else's. But it is the truth, for the reason I have stated - and shall state again; she was not a problem for me, until the middle of last year. Despite my best efforts (being both close to her, and distant), she has become more of a problem, for me, her close neighbours in the apartments, for the neighbourhood, even for the village - and for the Police/official agencies, and of course, for herself. You are quite right when you say that I am not equipped to deal with her. That was reinforced during this last week - with the admonitions of Mumsnetters lingering in my head, and her actions of her own accord, involving the Police several times - and violence and ASB. Even if I am not involved, this is on my doorstep. Many people believe that she should be in Supported Living; I have no opinion either way, and I am not on that bandwagon.
Whether or not, you, others - or even I - think I can help, SHE thinks I can - and tailgates me to whereever I am, no matter what I say, or do.

When I posted about the bike, it was honsetly intended as light-hearted - and I was quickly made to look a fool for doing so. My humour does not seem to translate well to the written word.

Speaking of which, yes, I did say that a relative is a writer. That would be my Father, who has as you remember correctly, creates rather more than a "nom de plume", in that he uses his son's image and life history for the author blurb. Which has seemed very odd to me, as he has done local interviews in his town in Quebec as himself. I do not create any kind of pesona for myself - heroine, victim, saviour, Lady Bountiful or any other. If I did, it would be a better one thatn this!
My father has unfortunately played a large and deterimental role in my life to this day - and he takes a tone with me similar to the way you are doing (strangely) - and really does seem to enjoy gathering toggether my misdeeds and mistakes and parading them before me, for some reason. It is quite an ugly trait, I think. It certainly does nohing to improve matters, or the relationship.

But - messages, emails, letters and so on, can sometimes seem - by their nature - to be like a handgrenade with the pin removed, thrown into a room and the door closed. I understand that - in my case, in his, and yours.

I printed your message(s) off, not - as you want to think - to gather a "case", but because I needed to scroll up and down to read them in full, and respond to the points you made. I have done the same with the ones you have made today - and shall print off my own. Don't think that they will be kept in a file for later perusal and self-flagellation. I just don't want to miss something unintentionally. And I would find it hard to believe that you DON'T want a response from me. It is not, however, represantative of my reaction, which I think you don't care about at all.

I have some idea why you might feel infuriated - but again the vitriol is based on something that you have blown up, helped in no small part by feeling that you have and can garner support on a thread, which is nothing to be proud of. In my opinion.

I am missing things, I know. But you do need to get the facts right about my "history" here on Mumsnet. I don''t disgree that there is a theme - my tragic life and existence (/s) - running through what I have posted. I apologise if that is offensive or tiresome to you.

However, the History may be one thing - my future ability (or wish?) to post, is definitely in doubt, as - to my surprise and annoyance (but I am sure you will think it was a good move on their part) - MN Admin actually deactivated my account, so the email for LoveMyPiano could not be used. I had another old email that i have resurrected, but am sure that the IP address will be detected either by a human or a robot. I am holding my breath waiting for that to happen, and just hope that I can at leasts finish typing.

So, LoveMyPiano "vanishing" might have made it appear that I being cowardly or ignorant- when in actual fact, I couldn't post in response to some of the comments mande by you and others. I don't doubt that this one will meet the same fate. It's enough to make a person paranoid. (lol)

i am so very pleased for you that you have overcome your difficulties and feel able to make express your vehemence on a public forum; but however effed up and complicated my life may be, I am relieved not to be in your head.

DontBreathe · 02/05/2022 10:35

Inklingpot · 02/05/2022 08:20

There’s also some socking going on on this thread which I’ve reported.

What the heck is socking?

FlibbertyGiblets · 02/05/2022 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Deleted for troll hunting