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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Completing Msc on mat leave?

70 replies

frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 18:42

Looking at full time or part time Msc Psychology conversion. I go on maternity in September and can take either 9 months or a year, so well timed for the course. Am I being unreasonable - or more perhaps delusional - to think I can juggle studying and a newborn?

OP posts:
DogDaysNeverEnd · 30/04/2022 18:50

It could be setting yourself up to fail and not enjoy the MSc or having the newborn as you will constantly be aware you should be spending more time on the other. An MSc is really quite demanding and I found my brain worked far less well with sleep deprivation so whilst pre-baby me would have been sure I could learn, post-baby me couldn't hold a thought or construct and academic argument. Based on my experience I'd advise against it.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 18:52

@DogDaysNeverEnd Thank you for the honest opinion!

OP posts:
Dreambigger · 30/04/2022 18:53

Really depends on so many things.. have u studied recently/does the course require a lot of input or can u do in own time/do u have help with baby/ is it first baby/ how baby is etc. Anything is possible but it may b very hard work. I've just finished an OU degree and I have 4 small kids but I work part time.

CapMarvel · 30/04/2022 18:54

Honestly unless you get exceptionally lucky with a baby that sleeps well or have a partner who is going to take up ALL the slack this is a terrible idea.

New babies are difficult and stressful. MScs are difficult and stressful. Doing both at the same time will be an absolute nightmare.

DuchessSilver · 30/04/2022 18:55

If you get a good sleeper and good napper, and prioritise studying over stuff like exercise and cooking and cleaning and relaxing, then I think part time would be feasible. Otherwise... unlikely. (In my experience of having done both mat leave and an MSc, but not at the same time)

Rtmhwales · 30/04/2022 18:56

I could've easily done it, I found my MSc Psychology in the UK really easy after American university for my undergraduate degree. And I had the worlds easiest baby (now a nightmare child). If you had a hard baby or weren't great at studying/time management/self starter I think it could be tricky.

YukoandHiro · 30/04/2022 18:58

I'm a writer and really thought I was going to write a book on maternity leave. I didn't do any work professionally for 13 months.

I really don't think that this is possible for you to do. I'm not being negative, it's just very very hard to understand the impact of the first year of a child's life on the mother until you've done it.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 30/04/2022 19:01

I completed my MSc part time while working full time and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m proud I did it but one of the things I learnt from that is what point my breaking point is. I nearly reached it during my MSc. Pushing myself as I did, I also lost pretty much all interest in the subject matter.

I’m currently on maternity leave and there are a few days I really want to use my brain, I want to do something other than mop baby sick, do laundry and try to get a baby to sleep. I’d like to talk to adults about non-baby things. I’ve been applying to jobs and it’s just a lot more effort. My baby only stopped napping on me about 6 weeks ago and will nap in her cot but only for 20 minutes. Mostly those 20 minutes are going to the toilet, getting something to eat and maybe putting a load of washing on. I’ve had to do the job applications after she’s gone to bed but she only started going down in an evening about 6 weeks ago as well (she’s 5 months old). She’s now getting more active and requiring more supervision and entertaining during her wake windows. She’s not an awful sleeper but she isn’t sleeping through. I’ve really had to make myself sit down in an evening and apply to jobs, no matter how tired I am or how grumpy DD has been. I’m only applying to jobs that really grab my attention and it’s still a lot more effort than it was pre-baby.

People can do it. I personally wouldn’t choose to do it though.

RJnomore1 · 30/04/2022 19:01

TBH it’s perfectly doable IF you have support. Ie the dad doesn’t view it as being your job to be housekeeper and childcare provider full time because you’re on mat leave. It’s likely to be harder to do (but still not impossible )when you go back to work.

riotlady · 30/04/2022 19:08

I did a good chunk of my msc in the pandemic, with a toddler at home full time and my partner mostly furloughed and I found it really hard tbh. With a newborn baby and a working partner it would be even worse!

MartinMartinMarti · 30/04/2022 19:09

How late can you leave it to decide? Could you decide when the baby is here?

There is no way I could have done this. DD slept on me during the day for the first six months, and after she was in bed (when she went to bed) I was so shattered I could only eat, shower and pass out.

And truly, my brain stopped working a bit. Sleep deprivation + hormones is powerful.

But other people have it far easier.

The trouble is you can't tell before the baby is here.

MmeMeursault · 30/04/2022 19:13

If you're on mat leave because you're having a baby, maybe you should just like concentrate on the baby. Controversial, perhaps, but realistic.

Would your employer be amused if the my discovered your were moonlighting (albeit as a student) whilst on mat leave?

If you want a shorter answer, yes you are being delusional. Extremely.

Maybe try hanging out with some babies to see what's involved first.

Marmaladegin · 30/04/2022 19:15

I did an MSc psychology with a baby. It was manageable BUT I did have a supportive partner who would take over in the evenings frequently so I could crack on. I actually found it refreshing from the baby bubble.

KimCheese · 30/04/2022 19:18

I would advise against it. Whilst empathetic to your situation, there is a high expectation on Postgrads to be able to manage deadlines etc and although there will be ways to manage mitigation.

Have a really good look at the units, work out what the assessment load looks like and the lecture schedule, attendance policy, also look at the make up of the academic year to see where you're going to be most stressed etc.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:18

Thanks all for the input.
I finished my BA in English Lit in 2019 with a First and genuinely enjoy studying. I have a supportive husband who works full time and a close and involved family who live locally. Baby is due at the start of October so I would need to decide before he/she arrives.
As lots of you have said, I do want to enjoy lots of time with baby and if they’re not a good sleeper then that is a huge factor!
I just worry about pushing it back a year and trying to study whilst working part time AND being a mother. The course is 100% something I want to do - is there a perfect time for anything?

OP posts:
NamechangeTTC · 30/04/2022 19:18

I’m on mat leave and doing a part time msc. Didn’t want to lose funding and had started while ttc. It’s hard. She doesn’t sleep well and it’s really tough but I’ve been passing so far which is something and means I haven’t had to defer a year.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:19

@Marmaladegin can I ask who you studied through and how you found the course?

OP posts:
Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:20

@NamechangeTTC are you studying online? Well done on all you’ve achieved so far! Have you got long left?

OP posts:
custardbear · 30/04/2022 19:21

I had a friend who did a masters during mat leave, it's hard but if you feel it's do-able and you have support at home, plus you can extend if necessary I'd say try

roses2 · 30/04/2022 19:23

I did a part time MBA on maternity leave and started when DS was 3 months. I had a LOT of support from DH and both sets of grandparents and it was so nice to use my brain. If you've got help then go for it!

parietal · 30/04/2022 19:23

Part time is probably possible. will baby be in nursery at any point?

i'm an academic doing the kind of writing / research that you will do on an MSc as my everyday job. When on mat leave (with a non-sleeping baby), I found that it was almost impossible to do proper high quality writing - that needs individual motivation & focus which is very difficult to do without sleep. Other things like going to lectures / discussion groups etc is much easier.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:26

Thank you @roses2 & @custardbear!
@parietal probably not until I’m back at work but it is an option we could afford if needed to make time for studying. I was also looking at OU as I know they are more flexible with fitting study around life and then I can work when my husband is home in the evenings hopefully - key word hopefully!

OP posts:
MmeMeursault · 30/04/2022 19:26

"I just worry about pushing it back a year and trying to study whilst working part time AND being a mother"

What makes you think that it's easier to do this when you've literally given birth as compared to 'being a mother' later?

Genuinely puzzled.

What if you have a traumatic or difficult birth or the child has medical issues?

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:29

@MmeMeursault sorry that may I have been my awkward capitalisation placing - I meant to say the added factor of going back to work part time alongside studying and having a baby, rather than not working when on mat leave

OP posts:
glamourousindierockandroll · 30/04/2022 19:31

Impossible to say. I didn't do anything formal while on maternity leave, but I did find myself hungry for something to challenge my brain, and I completed webinars and did reading that was relevant to my work. There was no pressure, however so I just did it when I felt like it.