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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Completing Msc on mat leave?

70 replies

frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 18:42

Looking at full time or part time Msc Psychology conversion. I go on maternity in September and can take either 9 months or a year, so well timed for the course. Am I being unreasonable - or more perhaps delusional - to think I can juggle studying and a newborn?

OP posts:
DoctorDoctor · 30/04/2022 19:36

I've had students who have carried on studying after giving birth with no break, assuring everyone that they'd be fine, had plenty of help at home and wanted to carry on. I can't think of one who then actually finished the course. It's really hard.

You could use your brain on mat leave by finding out the readings and topics for the course and starting those early. That way you've got a head start, but you haven't spent course fees on something you then find is too much on top of looking after a newborn.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 19:39

Thank you @DoctorDoctor that’s great advice :)

OP posts:
ThedaBara · 30/04/2022 19:44

I 've just done this and almost had a breakdown 😬started my Masters before the pandemic, part time alongside a job and looking after older child. Just about doable because we had a good routine. Was planning on finishing the degree before baby was born, but caught covid and had to defer by 6 months. Very traumatic birth, took about 3 months to recover from psychologically before I could concentrate on final dissertation, which was 10000 words plus a statistical study. DH took the first 6 months of the baby's life off from work to support me and look after the children. I wanted to quit the whole thing, felt like a terrible mother and did not look after myself (put on another stone in those 6 moths).
Don't mean to scare you off tho. Looking back at it, it would have been fine if the birth was good and if the baby slept well. You could always start it and ask for academic extensions as needed. Good luck

soootiredddd · 30/04/2022 19:44

I teach on an MSc psychology conversion course and examine one at another university. They’re pretty full on. I’ve had two kids and already have my MSc and phd and I don’t think I could have done a part time masters while I was on either of my Mat leaves. Neither of mine ever sleep 🙄 and had to have contact naps or be pushed in the buggy. I spent the first 3 months with my youngest breastfeeding every hour round the clock (literally), I felt like I was dying from exhaustion. And I had PND with my eldest.

sorry not saying this stuff to scare you. But it’s really tough doing an MSc and it’s also really tough becoming a new mum. I wouldn’t advise doing both together!

melcalfe · 30/04/2022 19:45

OP when I started studying for my online bachelor, everyone was telling me there's no way I could work full time and study full time.

It was discouraging but I went for it. I managed to do it. I'm so glad I didn't let other opinions to deter me.

I'd personally go for it. I've just gone on mat leave and still studying full time (albeit bachelor)

marplemead · 30/04/2022 19:52

I started an online part-time MSc when my baby was 3 months. It's tough, but not impossible. I do most of my studying on my phone during feeds. My DS is a rubbish sleeper, so I often study at odd hours. You have to be very organised and disciplined. I don't get long chunks of time to study. It's 10 mins here and 20 mins there. With my first, I napped when they did. This time, I have to force myself to study. I'm doing well, getting distinctions for my assignments. If you want to do it, go for it. You can always take a study break when you need it.

Oiwiththepoodlesalreadygg · 30/04/2022 19:56

I'm just finishing my first year of a 3 year part time masters, first baby due in July. Planning to continue during mat leave but I suppose the difference is I'll have 3 months off before the academic year starts and having done year 1 I'm realistic about the expectations. But honestly, not sure it can be harder than full time work (teaching, so full on!), part time study and third trimester exhaustion/pelvic pain! So if I can get through my final essay at 37 weeks, I'll feel like I can definitely do it! Helps that my course coordinator has been really supportive and my partner is on board. Some of these comments are slightly concerning though haha. If I have a totally nightmare baby I can always postpone a year but hoping to keep going!

Baystard · 30/04/2022 20:03

I'm so impressed by the stories here about the things people have achieved in maternity leave.

I'm a generally busy, productive, multi-tasker and I couldn't have organised myself out of a paper bag on maternity leave. Sleep deprivation is a thing!

I personally wouldn't commit to doing something like that, the last thing you need on mat leave is this extra pressure.

I started a postgraduate qualification around 2 years after mat leave and found it pretty straightforward time-wise even juggling home and work. Couldn't have done it in mat leave though.

mummabubs · 30/04/2022 20:05

We are all different and have varying ability to multitask/ cope but for what it's worth... In my life so far I've done an MSc in Psychology and I've had a newborn. I would not want to combine the two!!

crabcakesalad · 30/04/2022 20:07

I'm about to enter a final/project year of my
MSc and pretty desperate to have the project mostly done by the time DC4 arrived in oct.

The teaching modules the last 2 years have been so interesting and I've really enjoyed it but I couldnt have done it along with mat leave. I wouldn't have enjoyed either my scrummy new baby or the course. It would just have been about survival. Obviously I have 3 other kids (also a PT job) to keep up with but I mostly do uni work when they are in school.

Snapplepie · 30/04/2022 20:09

I had a very similar dilemma this year. I had two modules of a part time MSc to finish and was about to go on maternity leave. I am normally super academic and find university work fairly straightforward. I asked my mum if it was reasonable to finish my masters while I was on mat leave. She told me babies were easy(!) and I'd have plenty of time to do it while he slept.

This was very much not the case for me, my baby isn't easy, at 6 months he still doesn't predictably nap during the day and if he does have a nap I'd rather have a (rare!) shower. Not only this but my brain has turned to mush because i haven't had a full nights sleep in quite some time. I'm now trying to complete coursework in bits and pieces while my husband has the baby which is making everything take a lot longer than I expected.

I'll manage it (as I am sure you would if you choose to do it) but... I've had to adjust my expectations grade wise and shoot for "good enough" and it has been a struggle, where before I would have really enjoyed learning.

Its also worth bearing in mind that you just don't know what your baby will be like or how you will feel in the first few months. Babies are wonderful but having a new baby is the hardest thing I've ever done and I wish someone had said that to me when I asked if I could manage a baby and an Msc!

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 30/04/2022 20:18

I have 3 DCs. If say that for 3/3 of them, all bets were off for the first 4 months. It’s just really intense having a newborn. By 5 months, if you’re open to sleep training for nights and have people who can help you out for a couple of hours every few days, then I think something like a part time masters would be totally doable. I got quite a lot of research, work, and volunteering done on mat leave from about 5-6 months onwards, without feeling totally burned out. It was nice to use my brain for things other than tracking when the baby last pooped!

Bitconfusedhmm · 30/04/2022 20:41

Psych here @frenchie4002 - genuine question - why do you want to do the msc, for what purpose?

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 20:47

Thanks all for your honest feedback. It's great to hear the range of opinions and experiences!

@Bitconfusedhmm my long term goal is to train as an Educational Psychologist. I know the PhD is super competitive but a girl can dream!

OP posts:
Randomness12 · 30/04/2022 20:58

I could have done this with my eldest. But absolutely no way with my second. She’s 5.5 months now and we’re only just settling into the groove. The trouble is, there is no way of knowing which type of baby you will have until they are here. I’d have said go for it to anyone based on my experience with my first but I’d warn anyone against it after my second. Good luck with whatever you decide and with the baby

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 21:00

Very true @Randomness12 there's no way of knowing. Thank you x

OP posts:
Scottishflower65 · 30/04/2022 21:01

Yes, did my MSc taught stage whilst pregnant (no 5) and then the dissertation in the six months post birth. Not much sleep though as was working on it late evenings / early mornings. So depends on whether you can cope with less sleep?

Scottishflower65 · 30/04/2022 21:02

Oh and being ok with a messy house!

adarkhorse · 30/04/2022 21:29

I finished my PhD whilst on mat leave - wasn’t much of a choice as I was running out of time against the fixed deadline. I worked pretty long hours before in my day job and tried to finish as much as possible before going on mat leave.

I took the first three months ‘off’ and then got back into it when baby was napping or I could someone to look after her for an hour or two. The pandemic helped me a bit to be honest with my husband at home and no face to face meetings at university - and obviously no other distractions.

So it absolutely can be done - but as others have said, you have to have some support in place and agreed, it has to be your absolute priority after baby and of course baby has to play along. It’s also unpredictable over time - our baby was generally a good sleeper and napper, but a terrible feeder and there was a period of a few months where I couldn’t do anything - it drove me crazy! But all worked out in the end.

Original poster
frenchie4002 · 30/04/2022 21:32

@Scottishflower65 well done for getting it done! I don’t mind a bit of mess haha.
@adarkhorse congratulations on your phd -what an achievement! I’m glad it all worked out for you.
Thanks both for the wise words.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 30/04/2022 21:36

Sorry, this is utter lunacy.

1000yellowdaisies · 30/04/2022 21:39

Don't do it! I started a 2 year PT Msc course while on mat leave. I thought it was a great idea to get the first year done while i was off work. Plus work were funding it and it took ages for them to agree.to that so i didnt want to lose that.

I instantly regretted it. My induction took place when baby was 2 weeks old, i was still bleeding and sore and just generally distracted.
It was just a bad idea in all round, it added a level of stress i didnt need and i was just more tired.
It was such a bad idea....

Misty999 · 30/04/2022 21:52

I couldn't even manage 6 hours of CPD on mat leave.

titchy · 30/04/2022 21:53

Do you have a provider in mind? I agree an Autumn start would be setting yourself up to fail, but once you've had the baby then a January start, or even April if that option exists, might be doable.

TulipsGarden · 30/04/2022 21:57

I was very, very stupid for the first six months of my child's life. I couldn't focus on books, I didn't care about politics (usually love it), I watched dross on TV and could only really talk she think about my baby.

It was weird when my brain came back and I remembered who I used to be! No way I could have studied.

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