I sat down on a public toilet seat today

[anewername]

Uhhhhh I don't know what happened. I didn't line the seat with paper and I didn't hover. Will I be ok? I'd it likely I'll catch something terrible? I just really needed the loo and just rushed in and then my bum was on the seat 😬

I'm more worried about the door handle 🤮

Speak for yourself! I'm training my bum to cook a 4 course meal.

Squatting is better than sitting but we don't have the choice here, obviously (unless preferring to piss in a bush like a previous poster 🙄). Sitting is better than standing to hover.

Why would anyone deliberately sit in someone else's urine. Because that is what it really is. All those drips 🤮🤮

Coins. Colleague mentioned to me in general chat that as soon as she got home she washed all the coins - remember money? - in her purse. Every day. Someone, please, tell me that's not a usual thing.

Are all your vaccinations up to date? I don't want to worry you but list of things you could have caught is endless. Hepatitis, Typhoid, Dengue Fever, Rabies, Malaria, Polio, Tetanus, Yellow Fever. If I were you I would seek immediate medical care. Please can you come back and let us know what the doctor says?

My Nana would be appalled!

'Any lady worth her salt knows how to squat in public!'

I've had more than enough drunken toilet seat wees or misjudged lining the seat with toilet paper and not caught hepatitis yet!

This is a true story I read it in Take A Break. Sharon got 50 quid for it and everything.

I stood in a wet spot at the toddlers soft play this week too. I thought hopefully it's just a split drink, but I'm probably riddled now.

If you got down on the floor and licked it up, that could have been harmful. Standing on it in your outdoor shoes: not so much. You've probably walked over endless patches of pavement where a dog has weed at one time or another, in those same shoes - it's kind of one of the reasons why we wear shoes.

This is a true story I read it in Take A Break. Sharon got 50 quid for it and everything.

But more than that, she saved an absolute fortune in only having to bring up one of the babies, though!

Ffs how do you think the Ukraine people would view your pity party?

Without wanting to analyse this in too-great detail, when people talk about all the week they've found on public toilet seats, are they sure that it is actually wee?

Lots of public toilets don't have lids, as there's nothing else in the cubicle to cross-pollute - mind, plenty of people don't ever use them anyway, hence those adverts scaring you about pooticles on your toothbrush in your bathroom at home.

However, they do often have an extra powerful industrial strength flush, which does very frequently splash the seat and leave some residue. Thus, although it is water that at one time has been inside the toilet bowl, it's a far cry from pure unadulterated indeed-to-goodness stranger wee.

I was about to say hello to my late MIL, although my late OH would not use a public toilet for a sit down if he could avoid it, he would drive home very quickly if necessary!

I agree Sausageroll. It's not women who pee standing up then fail to aim straight surely?

I'm dialling 999 for you now. (Are you my DD?).

I hope you've made a Will, OP. You're DOOMED!

I shower daily. I sit on public toilets. I don’t wash chicken as I’m going to be cooking it.

Bleach your arsehole pronto

Have you been to a&e yet OP

@Justkeepon Oh no, which Asda was it? Asking for a friend.

It'll be the Asda in Orpington - they have a reputation for this; happens at least three times a day, exactly as happened to Sharon.

It's not women who pee standing up then fail to aim straight surely?

Indeed. You'd have to have an extremely high-up hovering position in order to trigonometrically expand the curtilage of your miss-zone to the extent of the seat itself. Probably have to be clinging on to the ceiling and adopting an air-attack stance, in reality.

Using a public toilet is meant to be a simple, mundane, routine action - not a fully mapped-out guerilla dogfight scenario.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll - please stop making me laugh, it's doing me lungs no good at all 🤣

Although it sounds a bit OCD that probably is more sensible than hovering over toilet seats with your arse...

Real money must be filthy if you think about it...

I've never knowingly washed it.. we've probably all lost a fiver or two to a washing machine misadventure.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll You're joking I didn't know this.. Poor Sharon. I wonder where she shops now, such a shame as Asda has some real bargains.