Getting starter and main together at restaurant

[TonkaBean22]

I was at a fairly upmarket restaurant last night when I was travelling by myself.

Restaurants don’t always fall over themselves when it’s a solo diner, but I was staying at the adjoined hotel, and I still need to eat - alone or not. It had great reviews.

They took a good 20 minutes to bring over my drink (wine, so not complicated!) despite others getting theirs in seconds. It was busy, but not overwhelmingly so, and I had a reservation.

I waited an hour for my starter, which fine, I wasn’t starving. Then they brought out my starter and main at the same time. There was barely room on the table. I was pretty shocked, and they just said ‘kitchen made a mistake’ and shrugged.

I wasn’t happy, so I ate the starter, and then left the stone cold (it was already quite cool when I received it. I could see it sitting on the service bench for a while) main and asked for the bill so I could leave. I was still expected to pay for the dish, despite taking half a bite to confirm it was cold. (It wasn’t a dish that could easily be reheated, and the side on it had congealed).

I did pay, but didn’t tip, because frankly I thought the service was poor (it’s a poor country, but this is not how service is done here even so!). But I feel a bit bad about it. AIBU to expect decent service even when dining alone? For what it’s worth, I would have tipped well, and I opted for quite (by local standards) expensive dishes.

I was in London last week as my DD was in hospital at GOSH. I popped out from the hospital for a break and to get some dinner at 6pm and decided to go into Wagamama as it seems a good choice for a quick and easy solo diner. I was wrong.

I was greeted and I asked for a table. The greeter scowled and said " only one? " so I confirmed that it was just me. She then said "I'm sorry we can't seat you as we are too busy"

There were loads of free tables. I almost cried but that was due to the emotion of being at the hospital looking after DD and being on my own and a bit exhausted.

Phoned my husband to have a moan about it and he googled and found a pizza express nearby.

Went there and had a lovely quiet meal on my own with excellent and friendly service. They even gave me a nice window seat so I could watch the world go by as I ate.

You were told they dont sit one people.
Wow.
I think you KNOW you're right.
Im single too. I think i would be relieved that as bad as my own home turf was, restaurants will "sit one people"

@AngelsWithSilverWings you should contact the restaurant and share your experience with the manager. I’ve eaten at wagamama as a solo loads of times. It’s one of my favourites and I’ve never had anything like that experience. I wonder if they were short staffed so while the restaurant looked empty, they couldn’t take more customers. That’s happened here recently.

I've had several bad experiences eating alone. I do agree that you get much worse service a lot of the time.

I used to have to eat out alone at night when I stayed away for work and waiting staff would frequently leave me half an hour before even bringing my drink over. They act like you're inconveniencing them. It's embarrassing when they try to lump you in with other people in a queue when you're clearly alone.

I ate out at York alone as the person I was supposed to be staying the weekend with didn't show up, the manager seemed very confused I was eating alone and put me on a massive circular table for 8 right in the middle of the restaurant, despite having lots of spare tables for 2 and 4.

ouch! That sounds horrible. Not what you need after a hard day.

In lieu of buying my food from supermarkets and bakeries only (I’m a foodie) I’m half-tempted to take a notepad and pen and make studious notes every time my food comes out so it looks like I’m a critic from Lonely Planet or something 😁

I've had a starter and main course brought out at the same time fairly recently. I wasnt eating alone though. I just asked them what on earth did they think they were doing and sent it back.

I've never, in nearly 40 years of eating in bars and restaurants solo had an issue because I'm alone though.

Sounds like a mixed bag from people. I’m glad (but also sad) I’m not the only one who has had some lacklustre service being alone. Quite jealous of the ones who’ve only had good experiences - though that was mainly me up until this trip!

I also try not to be too ‘irritating’ when I eat out alone. I’m not overly demanding, try to buy a couple of courses and a drink so they’re still earning from my presence, tip if it’s a tipping country and the service is decent, and either reserve or go outside peak hours. But it feels a bit ridiculous having to do this stuff when you’re paying someone.

Here’s hoping for better luck tonight!

This made me wince. How awkward. I’m definitely used to being shoved in the less desirable tables - but a table of 8 for 1 sounds ridiculous.

Sometimes I’ve had people go out of their way to give me good service when I’ve been alone, which is lovely, in some places like Japan where it’s so normal to eat alone, it’s easy, but as you said, you will get a waiter sometimes who seems disappointed you’re even there. I always find it worse at dinner, lunch seems to be a bit better.

I get that you probably wanted to get out quickly, but I really wouldn't have paid for the main. Very poor service.

Ok, now you've said Albania.
In Albania there are definitely men only type of bars that I definitely would feel out of place and wouldnt go in. However you can see what they are like just by standing at the door ( and then moving swiftly in, like I did!!)
In Tirana I noticed loads of women eating by themselves and was pleasantly surprised. Here I met up with my cousin so didnt eat alone in the capital but would have felt ok.
I did eat alone early evening in Durrès,Vlore and Sarande though.
Seriously no issues, no long waits and was treated respectfully.
I stayed in one hotel just outside Tirana and the staff were so lovely and kept bringing me more food 'for you, madam' ( no extra charge)
Which towns, municipalities were you in?

I travelled a lot with work…sometimes up to 50% of my time - including UK, Europe and international
This type of “ignoring” happened all the time to me. Especially when I put order in and didn’t order wine etc but only water (I was working!). I found this only happened though for evening meals- and it was always worse in hotels particularly the bigger hotels. I’m sure they just figured I wasn’t going to tip much, no money form overheads and minimum spend ( I’d just be having a main meal and water say) so didn’t put any attention to me.
however the exact same places were fine for breakfast….many of them that got to know me would know that I wanted tea (Earl grey preferably!) and remember that and just confirm it with me when I walked in.

the other thing that I hated when I was eating in public in evening was the side looks….in many countries women still do not eat in a public restaurant or bar on their own. At very least the looks are curiosity , at worst you get a random old bloke looking at you whilst he is at next table and then deciding to strike up conversation and expect you to be his entertainment or company for his meal . It is very difficult to tell a bloke who is intent on telling you about his difficult day at the office to just shut up and get on with his dinner ON HIS OWN

I used to eat out alone a lot when I used to travel for work and it's pretty clear that some places are very unhappy/confused dealing with a lone female diner. I've been frequently shoved at the back of half empty dining rooms or behind strategic pot plants

Was staying a large city hotel in the UK and had made a booking in the restaurant for that night. Quite a chichi place. I had a drink at the bar while doing a bit of emailing and noticed a lot of very glammed up boys and girls going through to the restaurant. Think tiny dresses, designer bags, huge tans and hair and those see through heeled shoes. The guys in those skintight suits. I was dressed in decent business dress. Shift dress, jacket, heels

The maître d came up to me and said "Miss Bag, I notice you have booking in our restaurant tonight.... I think you might be more comfortable at the bar" and passed me the menus. I said no I'd like to be seated at a table and he repeated that I'd be more comfortable at the bar.

I repeated that I didn't want to eat at the bar thanks and he simply said that they didn't have a table for me. It was clear that a single woman eating alone might have cramped their 'glam' reputation. I ended up eating fine dining dishes at a high stool at the bar surrounded by men shouting over my shoulder ordering beers. Humiliating.

I eat solo often and other than being refused a table when it's busy, which I think is understandable, I've never had any problems with service. Quite the opposite really I find that when eating alone you get quite different and maybe more personable if that makes sense

**
I seriously would have put a written complaint in over this treatment. You already had a table booked. If not resolved I would have called them out on Twitter. I have done this before ( not eating solo, a different issue) and funny enough I have had speedy resolutions once it's in a public forum.

My last post was meant to quote SmugOldBag but I clearly deleted the copy and paste!

It sounds like it isn't common to eat alone there, so maybe the chef assumed that the order was for two people, one of whom ordered a starter for their main? I don't know! Hopefully you can find nicer places for the rest of your stay there.

Maybe in the U.K., rural Albania with no social media I’m not sure would have the same impact 😅

Ooh, interesting to have a comment from someone else who’s been.

This experience was in Shkodra, but I’m also in Berat, Gjirokaster and Sarandë. Tirana was where I was told they don’t seat single diners (it was a nice-ish fish restaurant). But I also had a good experience there when I took my embarrassed arse into a more touristy restaurant.

I just checked into a hotel in Berat and the first question was ‘only 1?! why are you alone?’. So I guess it continues! I think I’ll switch my main meal to lunch and just grab souvlaki in the evenings. It’s starting to get me down a bit.

Not to put anyone off Albania - it’s beautiful. But maybe go with a friend or partner if you don’t want to feel like you grew another head.

Just saw this wasn’t for me. I agree, that’s awful treatment she received!

I eat out alone quite a bit, and service has always been fine, whether it is an Michelin star restaurant or local café. But I'm not afraid to speak my mind if I think somethings not right. I would not have waited 20 minutes for a drink and certainly not an hour for food.
I'm glad you got a refund. But next time speak up at the time.

Dining alone is pretty rubbish. No unusual to be declined at the door or to be given the worst table.

Post on TripAdvisor, they'll see your review and will (hopefully) look into it. Or ring and ask to speak to the manager about your recent visit. Not acceptable.

It is such a mixed bag when dining alone. I don't do it often but in one or two places I've been they've gone out of their way to seat me by the window so that I can look out while I eat. And other places where I have been practically invisible and had to wait ages.

This is my experience - almost opposite extremes.

Ignore me. I didn't read the whole thread 🤦‍♀️