Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being oversensitive?

28 replies

user9066572 · 28/04/2022 18:42

Today on my lunch at work i overheard two of my managers having a conversation about me (the staff room is right next to the office and you can hear everything been said in there).
So I work part time hours, 8am-12pm Monday-Friday these have been my hours since I returned to work after treatment for cancer just over 18 months ago. I reduced my hours to part time after returning. All my other colleagues work full days.
I heard one of my managers saying that we can't keep treating me differently because I have had cancer and that what would they do if other staff had cancer they couldn't all work half days and I shouldn't have any special treatment.
I feel so upset, AIBU?

OP posts:
ElenaSt · 28/04/2022 18:44

It's only natural that you would feel upset but I can also see his point of view that as everybody else is working full time that resentment can be held against someone who is working part time regardless of the reasons why.

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 18:48

Have you officially accepted a reduction in hours to part-time, through a flexible working request, so that you’re now a part-time employee? Or are you a full-time employee on a part-time ‘return to work’ adjustment?

YANBU to feel upset they were discussing you.

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 18:51

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 18:48

Have you officially accepted a reduction in hours to part-time, through a flexible working request, so that you’re now a part-time employee? Or are you a full-time employee on a part-time ‘return to work’ adjustment?

YANBU to feel upset they were discussing you.

@NoSquirrels

I am a part time employee. The other staff are either full time or part time but work 3 or 4 full days per week. I am the only one who does half days.

OP posts:
Discovereads · 28/04/2022 18:53

YANBU to be upset they were discussing a personnel issue in essentially a public place. The conversation should have happened in a private office with the door closed.

But the content of the conversation I think it depends on your situation if it would be doubly upsetting:
If you’ve been cancer free for 18mos, then they have a valid point. You should be going back to FT work if the PT schedule was an accommodation due to cancer treatment, it can’t go on forever long after treatment has ended.

If you’re not cancer free but inoperable/terminal and treatment has ended because nothing more can be done, then I think you have grounds for a complaint and should contact HR.

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 19:01

And do you think your half-day pattern might cause operational issues if lots of other staff wanted to work that part-time pattern (mornings or afternoons) vs 3-4 full days?

If it might be an issue operationally for the business, then the manager might have a point. He hasn’t gone about it well, his words were hurtful to overhear, I understand that completely, but actually if what’s happened is a temporary adjustment pattern (e.g. to deal with fatigue) has become permanent now you’re well and it’s causing problems then it might be worth considering if you need to confront that with your managers head on and discuss it.

Theunamedcat · 28/04/2022 19:02

So instead of working full days but part time hours your working half days?

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:07

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 19:01

And do you think your half-day pattern might cause operational issues if lots of other staff wanted to work that part-time pattern (mornings or afternoons) vs 3-4 full days?

If it might be an issue operationally for the business, then the manager might have a point. He hasn’t gone about it well, his words were hurtful to overhear, I understand that completely, but actually if what’s happened is a temporary adjustment pattern (e.g. to deal with fatigue) has become permanent now you’re well and it’s causing problems then it might be worth considering if you need to confront that with your managers head on and discuss it.

@NoSquirrels
The original plan when I reduced my hours was to employ someone to work the afternoons but that never happened the manager ended up hiring someone for 3 full days instead.
I don't think it has a huge effect on the business no difference to if i worked 2 or 3 full days.

OP posts:
Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:08

Theunamedcat · 28/04/2022 19:02

So instead of working full days but part time hours your working half days?

@Theunamedcat

Yes I work 5 mornings. The other part timers work full days but less days per week.

OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 28/04/2022 19:14

They were unreasonable to discuss it so you could overhear, that was hurtful for you and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. But I can understand that they cannot allow for this arrangement for everyone on a long term basis.

ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:18

Is your contact half days?

I would ask them politely to be aware that people can hear them discussing things in their office from the lunch room. That'll terrify them.

ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:20

Contract sorry.

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 19:22

I don't think it has a huge effect on the business no difference to if i worked 2 or 3 full days.

I don’t know because I’m not your manager or one of your colleagues, but if they were looking to hire for afternoons but then couldn’t find anyone who wanted those hours, so that they then employed another PT person on full days, then it might be detrimental to the business.

Because if all your colleagues decided they’d prefer a part-time pattern like yours, they couldn’t have it if recruiting the second shift/afternoons is difficult. They’re presumably always short-staffed in the afternoons, or they have less options for cover.

It’s obviously either a problem for the manager, so they’re discussing that problem, or he’s just an unsympathetic arse with a grudge. Hard to know!

ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:23

Depending on the exact situation it may be worth noting that cancer is automatically covered by the disability discrimination act (even if you don't identify as having a disability, and even if it is a past diagnosis which has been treated)

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:24

ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:18

Is your contact half days?

I would ask them politely to be aware that people can hear them discussing things in their office from the lunch room. That'll terrify them.

@ChocBloc

My contract is 20 hours per week.

OP posts:
ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:27

Do you work half days as that is what you can manage due to ongoing symptoms?

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:28

NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 19:22

I don't think it has a huge effect on the business no difference to if i worked 2 or 3 full days.

I don’t know because I’m not your manager or one of your colleagues, but if they were looking to hire for afternoons but then couldn’t find anyone who wanted those hours, so that they then employed another PT person on full days, then it might be detrimental to the business.

Because if all your colleagues decided they’d prefer a part-time pattern like yours, they couldn’t have it if recruiting the second shift/afternoons is difficult. They’re presumably always short-staffed in the afternoons, or they have less options for cover.

It’s obviously either a problem for the manager, so they’re discussing that problem, or he’s just an unsympathetic arse with a grudge. Hard to know!

@NoSquirrels

He didn't even try to employ someone for the afternoon shift.

I'm not the first member of staff to have this shift pattern a previous member of staff did the same shifts due to childcare issues. She left just before I returned so I took her shift pattern. I didn't think it would be an issue.

OP posts:
ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:28

Because if you are this: I heard one of my managers saying that we can't keep treating me differently because I have had cancer puts them in a dicey situation re reasonable adjustments and the disability discrimination act.

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:34

ChocBloc · 28/04/2022 19:27

Do you work half days as that is what you can manage due to ongoing symptoms?

@ChocBloc

I still suffer with fatigue in the afternoon.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 28/04/2022 19:38

OK, well ignore it then. Or tell them you overheard the conversation and you were upset by it, and could they clarify what the issue is with your shift pattern.

SirChenjins · 28/04/2022 19:42

So they approved your half day working pattern (presumably you have something in writing?) and planned to get someone in for the afternoons but didn’t, appointed to a different shift pattern instead, and are now complaining about the situation they caused?

If I’ve got that right then I would be requesting a formal meeting with them and HR. Completely inappropriate to be discussing a member of staff in that way.

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/04/2022 19:45

The point is that all the other staff haven't had cancer resulting in needing to work half days. It's highly unlikely that anyone else will need the same hours for the same reasons. So I think they are very unreasonable to talk like that - especially where you could hear them.

Original poster
user9066572 · 28/04/2022 19:45

SirChenjins · 28/04/2022 19:42

So they approved your half day working pattern (presumably you have something in writing?) and planned to get someone in for the afternoons but didn’t, appointed to a different shift pattern instead, and are now complaining about the situation they caused?

If I’ve got that right then I would be requesting a formal meeting with them and HR. Completely inappropriate to be discussing a member of staff in that way.

@SirChenjins No I don't have anything in writing. I just agreed with my manager the hours when I returned.

OP posts:
PinkWisteria · 28/04/2022 20:02

I would have been upset overhearing this conversation and I am surprised by some of the responses on here. OP is now part time and working pattern was agreed with her manager. There was an opportunity to recruit to cover the afternoons but for what ever reason the position was filled by someone working 3 full days, that is not OP's responsibility.

Theunamedcat · 28/04/2022 20:07

For people misunderstanding

You might be "cancer free" but the drugs used to fight the cancer have long term debilitating effects which can last years

HappyCup · 28/04/2022 20:08

PinkWisteria · 28/04/2022 20:02

I would have been upset overhearing this conversation and I am surprised by some of the responses on here. OP is now part time and working pattern was agreed with her manager. There was an opportunity to recruit to cover the afternoons but for what ever reason the position was filled by someone working 3 full days, that is not OP's responsibility.

This.

They can absolutely fuck off OP. How horrible for you.