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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask you to convince me I’m being stupid?

55 replies

Morechunkthanfunk · 28/04/2022 12:49

So without going on too much, I gained 2 stone in lockdown (like many I suppose) but now I’m faced with the prospect of losing 4 stone. Even pre covid I was never happy with my weight and always fluctuating between 10-12 stone. I feel really galvanised to lose the weight but I turned 29 this year and can’t shake the feeling that losing weight is pointless because the best years are behind me. I know realistically I’m being stupid and my face/body isn’t going to just collapse when I turn 30 but I love an excuse to self sabotage and just keep telling myself it’s a waste of time…

OP posts:
hihellohihello · 28/04/2022 14:58

Is that weight or the health behaviours of the person.not so clear cut as the diet industry has led folk to believe

No actual weight. Body fat affects metabolic processes - and too much will add up to carrying excess weight. Excess weight also can add stress to the joints, plus carrying excess weight can affect fitness.

Dahlietta · 28/04/2022 15:00

I turned 29 this year and can’t shake the feeling that losing weight is pointless because the best years are behind me

Surely you are just being goady on a site filled with middle-aged women (like me)? Grin

hihellohihello · 28/04/2022 15:00

'Health behaviours',still are vitally important. You could be underweight due to illness.

pigsDOfly · 28/04/2022 15:09

Yes, in the kindest possible way you are being stupid.

You're 29, you've hardly started with your life. Keep yourself healthy and, with some luck, you could live for another 70 years.

You're in your best years now, mine were my make the most of them.

I'm 73 if I needed to lose 4 stone I'd make damn sure it happened. I wouldn't think 'oh well, my life is over I'll just sink into ruination'

I want to be as comfortable in my body as possible. I want my heart to work as well as it can without having to carry extra weight around.

I want to be able to run up the stairs without my knees or ankles hurting.

I want to be able to take my dog for lovely walks without getting out of breath.

I don't want to fill myself up with rubbish, I want the food I eat to keep my body healthy.

And yes, I do want to look slim.

Don't go on some silly faddy diet. Just start eating a sensible sustainable healthy amount of good food. Get some exercise, walking is fine, you don't have to join a gym, and start looking forward.

You have so much life ahead of you.

tcjotm · 28/04/2022 15:17

hihellohihello · 28/04/2022 14:58

Is that weight or the health behaviours of the person.not so clear cut as the diet industry has led folk to believe

No actual weight. Body fat affects metabolic processes - and too much will add up to carrying excess weight. Excess weight also can add stress to the joints, plus carrying excess weight can affect fitness.

Yep. Gained loads in my twenties, at the time I only cared from the appearance side. Health, pffft, I was young and surely healthy.

Overweight at 45 and I don’t give a shit about my looks anymore but I feel the health impacts of it in everything I feel and do. But the associate health conditions and joint pain make everything so much harder.

OP, if I could go back and kick 29 year old me in the arse I totally would. Maintaining a healthy weight is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

gamerchick · 28/04/2022 15:31

I'm 47, the only way I'd do my 20s again is if I could be the person I am now. So much more to come OP.

If you want to lose weight then get cracking. You have youth on your side atm so not many health issues. Make changes today and avoid them.

Lsquiggles · 28/04/2022 15:32

You could live for another 60+ years! 😂

You're not over the hill and past it once you've hit 30, I blame films etc for making women feel like their lives are over once they reach the 'dreaded' age of 30.

kateandme · 28/04/2022 22:59

I would just focus on adding in.so not getting that mindset of this slog ahead of restricting but instead what can you add into your life if and that includes day today and eating to make it healthier. Stop thinking about this weight that you have to lose.dieting doesn't work. It's a 95% failure rate.fact.and a large percent gain back more.you already sound low about stuff,a bit meh.ao kick up some mojo.start cooking,bringing in new foods,veggies,nourishing meals.dont restrict yourself or start some f* up diet cutting out food groups. Just get down to basics. Give yourself all foods.no labels.no good bad or off limits.and just start making good choices,which can mean a salad one day or a burger. And add in some joyful movement if u can.
And mentally sort out why u feel ur life is behind you.why you feel like u do.and y is it so determined on yoyr weight too.

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/04/2022 23:31

I'm nearly 53, I have a primary aged child and I'm fitter than I've ever been and the best I've ever looked. Honestly, you're being silly.

JaceLancs · 28/04/2022 23:47

I lost 8.5 stone in my early 30s
mid 30s I felt amazing
over the years I put some back on and then lost 5 stone in my mid 50s
lockdown blues caused weight gain I’m dieting again and would love to be a stunning 60 year old

Wheniruletheworld · 29/04/2022 07:32

i don't know anyone who put on 2 stone during lockdown. Why? Unless people were strictly sheilding, walking locally was allowed, so no excuse not to exercise

Flowersandwine12 · 29/04/2022 07:45

I was my heaviest after my 2nd in 2018, I was 29, now going on 33 and I've never looked or felt better. It's definitely worth the effort. Most people I know say it's harder to lose weight the older you get so definitely worth getting some foundations down now

Octomore · 29/04/2022 07:48

I'm 41 and my best decade to date was my 30s! Your best years are not behind you.

Octomore · 29/04/2022 07:50

Wheniruletheworld · 29/04/2022 07:32

i don't know anyone who put on 2 stone during lockdown. Why? Unless people were strictly sheilding, walking locally was allowed, so no excuse not to exercise

Lockdown ennui/malaise was definitely a thing among people I know. Essentially low level depression. Nothing to plan for or look forward to, so people felt listless and shit.

Ohsoworried · 29/04/2022 07:55

I'm 31 and feel more attractive now than I ever did! 29 is so young!!!

opensunflower · 29/04/2022 08:03

39 year old you will look back on 29 year old you and feel angry, ashamed at your attitude and will wish she could go back

lljkk · 29/04/2022 08:03

can’t shake the feeling that losing weight is pointless because the best years are behind me.

Dunno if OP has an ED, but that is exactly the logic that gets in head of people with Eating Disorders. All sorts of self-perpetuating nonsense is what EDs speak to one's self.

brookstar · 29/04/2022 09:57

Wheniruletheworld · 29/04/2022 07:32

i don't know anyone who put on 2 stone during lockdown. Why? Unless people were strictly sheilding, walking locally was allowed, so no excuse not to exercise

Hmmmm I think I you're being a little blinkered here.

During lockdown my workload tripled and I was also trying to juggle homeschooling a small child and care for elderly grandparents who were shielding.

I didn't have time to exercise.
This was a common situation across my work colleagues and social group.

Not everyone found themselves with oodles of extra time. For a lot of us it was hell on earth.

pixie5121 · 29/04/2022 11:01

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

LindaEllen · 29/04/2022 11:23

You are absolutely being stupid! These days, with people living longer and longer, there are plenty of 'good years' even after retirement, never mind in your 20s!

I'm 31 and I have 5 stone to lose, also thanks to lockdown, and I'm struggling. But I am going to do it, because I want to look and feel good!

Alightjacket · 29/04/2022 11:26

Oh look an inflammatory ageist post and no return from the OP in almost 24hours..

Alightjacket · 29/04/2022 11:30

Wheniruletheworld · 29/04/2022 07:32

i don't know anyone who put on 2 stone during lockdown. Why? Unless people were strictly sheilding, walking locally was allowed, so no excuse not to exercise

I put 2 stone on during lockdown, actually closer to three. Thanks to crippling depression and anxiety ignited by loosing a parent very quickly and unexpectedly (as many others did to/during covid), loosing work colleagues and working very long full time hours in a very busy hospital during a global pandemic. How lovely that everyone you know had the time doing daily exercise to stay slim.

MarilynValentine · 29/04/2022 11:31

Your attitude only stands up if you can say, hand on heart, that everyone around you who is over 29 is useless, past it and not worth bothering about.

And…if you think that you have more to worry about than losing some weight.

See? Doesn’t make sense does it? Sounds like the self-sabotaging element within you is scuppering your ability to make a healthy choice with whatever notion is closest to hand. Ignore that negative inner voice and start making a few changes.

Justcallmebebes · 29/04/2022 11:34

I was always quite sporty but really got into the gym and fitness in my early 40's and now in my 50's I am much fitter, leaner and stronger than I was in my 20's and 30's.

Life doesn't end at 30 and your best years are probably way ahead of you

Ponoka7 · 29/04/2022 12:31

I agree that it depends on what you see as your best years. Everyone owes themselves good health. I was seriously ill some years ago. I was told by my doctor's to not worry about my weight. The only thing I had was food. I was housebound, so I put on five stone. My weight caused as many issues as my illness. I can remember when I lost as much weight as my toddler GC weighed. I could carry her up stairs without feeling it. I'm vain. Wanting to go swimming with my GC has spurred me on to better health. I'm looking forward to starting hiking and cycling again.