Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband driving a stranger around??

66 replies

Fleur786 · 28/04/2022 10:11

I don't know why this just isn't sitting right with me.
Husband went out in the night for late night prayers at mosque and relayed the story next morning when I saw him.
Basically he had parked up in Morissons carpark where a womans car was not starting, and she had no battery on her phone. She had just bought the car and had made the journey here from Middlesbrough.
So he tried to start her car, no luck so he let her sit in our car to charge her phone. Once charged she claimed she had no one to contact and that had a sister on the other side of town.

So for some reason he drove her around, whilst on their drive she finally got a phone call from the guy she bought the car from and then they made their way back.
Now I have no problem with him helping her charge her phone, try to start her car etc.
What doesn't sit right with me is him taking her in our car to her sisters home. Could she or him not just ordered an Uber??? Or could not find someone else to jump start the car?? Or direct her to the mosque where she could have charged her phone and find somewhere safe to wait till the mechanic came???

He thinks I'm being silly and over reacting, but I don't know why I just don't like the fact he had a random woman in the car driving around at night.
She was incredibly stupid to get in the car in the first place (your in a different city, in the night in a carpark, no phone, like come on your asking for trouble)

Am I being unreasonable??
It just isn't sitting right with me...

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 28/04/2022 14:22

never pick up a lone woman if you are a man

Why not?

MissusMaisel · 28/04/2022 14:31

RoomOfRequirement · 28/04/2022 14:00

I could run around drunk and half naked and if some 'pervert' attacked me, that would be completely, 100% HIS fault.

Victim blaming, and I see a patronising misogynist too. Nice.

Show quote history

I never understand this attitude, its bizarre. Obviously it would be the perpetrators fault, but how would that help you after the fact?

It's not about victim blaming, it's about sensibly mitigating risk, and I'd be surprised if you don't actually understand that.

Heyduggee123 · 28/04/2022 14:46

She was incredibly stupid to get in the car in the first place (your in a different city, in the night in a carpark, no phone, like come on your asking for trouble)

Really?? Asking for trouble?? FFS

Squillerman · 28/04/2022 14:51

She was pretty naive to get into a stranger’s car like that, especially without a phone in the middle of the night. I think your DH did a good deed though ultimately so I wouldn’t be annoyed. Why are you annoyed mostly? Did he say he fancied her or something? It’s a bit strange to be upset about this.

notacooldad · 28/04/2022 14:53

It sounds like your instinct is telling you something doednt add up.
It's alright people saying he did a good dead or people saying he is setting a story up. No one knows him or his intentions.
If you feel something isnt right I dont think you can do much about this situation but I would be keeping my guard up and observing if you have an uneasy feeling tbh.

notacooldad · 28/04/2022 14:58

I could run around drunk and half naked and if some 'pervert' attacked me, that would be completely, 100% HIS fault
Absolutely true but I'd be the one living ( if I've not been killed) with the consequences of an attack.

We all know attacks can happen to anyone anywhere but there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking precautions to minimise or reduce risk as much as possible.
Blimey, I have to risk assess everything at work, even using a step ladder, therefore it seems common sense to risk assess situations and environments I may find myself in.

doggiescats · 28/04/2022 15:00

Sniffypete · 28/04/2022 11:50

Yes, she was stupid to get in a car with a complete stranger, but your husband did an incredibly kind thing. He was helping a vulnerable woman.

This …she took a risk and was lucky! You should be glad that your husband was so kind !

StScholastica · 28/04/2022 15:07

DId you really just say,

"Like come on she's asking for trouble"?

ADJUST YOUR MINDSET, NO WOMAN ASKS FOR TROUBLE.

Alwayshoovering · 28/04/2022 15:39

I think you are being unreasonable.
Your husband is clearly a good man and you should be proud of him, not annoyed with him. She is lucky your husband assisted her. How would you feel if you were that women, stranded and alone and no one would help as their wife may give them grief over it and then something awful happened to you.
I've helped someone before, drive them 20 miles out of my way. Thought nothing of it and hope more people will be willing to help a stranger in need.

zingally · 28/04/2022 16:47

It sounds like your husband is a kind and decent man!

Tothepoint99 · 28/04/2022 16:51

Love it when the OP flees and says nothing in response 🙄

WrongWayApricot · 29/04/2022 09:13

I don't think telling women it's dangerous to get into a stranger's car is victim blaming. I actually think that telling women that they can is making vulnerable women cannon fodder for a political cause. I bet it won't be the women shouting victim blaming that get into a strange man's car and risk their lives. The world is a shit hole teeming with scum bag rapists, murderers and pedos, pretending it's not doesn't make it not a shit hole. It just creates a false sense of security that typed on a forum sounds lovely but in real life is actually quite disgusting when you think of the possible consequences.

It's not a woman's fault she got raped whatever she did or didn't do before, during or after that. But don't pretend the risk isn't high to get into a stranger's car.

itsneilthebaby · 29/04/2022 09:19

Does it not say a lot that for some reason op's account got deleted after posting this? Hmm

WoodenClock · 29/04/2022 09:24

There is something weird about about story. It just doesn't seem the brightest or easiest way to help her.

I don't know what the problem is, maybe just not thinking properly, or wanting to be the hero, but it is a bit odd.

FeathersMcGee · 29/04/2022 09:26

What was DH doing parked up in Morrisons car park when he was supposed to be at the mosque?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/04/2022 09:36

WrongWayApricot · 29/04/2022 09:13

I don't think telling women it's dangerous to get into a stranger's car is victim blaming. I actually think that telling women that they can is making vulnerable women cannon fodder for a political cause. I bet it won't be the women shouting victim blaming that get into a strange man's car and risk their lives. The world is a shit hole teeming with scum bag rapists, murderers and pedos, pretending it's not doesn't make it not a shit hole. It just creates a false sense of security that typed on a forum sounds lovely but in real life is actually quite disgusting when you think of the possible consequences.

It's not a woman's fault she got raped whatever she did or didn't do before, during or after that. But don't pretend the risk isn't high to get into a stranger's car.

They didn't just say it's dangerous, they said it's 'asking for trouble' which is a very different tone. It shifts the blame from the perpetrator to the victim. Which is why it's called victim blaming.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread