Hurrying her up at the playground

[Buffalostance89]

Have my parents staying with us for two weeks (I know)
Dd, almost 3 and I normally visit the playground most days, soft play, cafe visits, zoo visits, beach etc-we mix it up, but it all involves something fun for her to keep her occupied.
Dad likes to go for a walk and sit at a cafe by the beach-practically every day.
In almost two weeks, she’s been to the playground (when walking to a cafe, for maybe 5 minutes-dad walked off to the cafe)
Today we went to the same cafe, had lunch, Dd sat well and on the walk back, she asked to go to the playground and ran over.
I said to her of course we could go, my mum was saying ‘Another day’
We went in and literally five minutes later, my mums trying to hurry her along to go 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dad says ‘Come on, I’m bored now’
I said to them both that she needs to play and we normally come most days and she’s barely been.
cue atmosphere and then standing stony faced, waiting to go.
They used to babysit my sisters kids all the time years ago and I remember them always saying about playgrounds they went to with them.
My mum never really plays with her, then I hear about how at Christmas they all play board games etc with sisters kids (early teens now)
Aibu to feel pissed off and sad about this?
I mean, it’s not thrilling for me stood in a playground, but it’s for her, whether it’s boring for me or not. She’s been really good and been on the walks and to the cafes and shopping…things *They like to do, is it unreasonable to expect them to want her to enjoy herself doing children’s things, and to want to be a part of that?

*Them standing stony faced

Do you have to all go out together? Leave them in the cafe while you take DD to the park?

They clearly don’t enjoy it and don’t want to, which is disappointing if they’ve previously done so with your sisters kids, but their prerogative I suppose.
why not take her the park yourself and let them go home? They don’t need to be there do they? No reason for your daughter to miss out.

Could it be that felt cold standing there? Why not letting go home whilst you took her?

Give them a key to your house and they can walk back and put the kettle on.
Unfortunately as some people get older they also get more grumpy and less tolerant of kids.

I'd give them the keys to your house and see them at home.

If they are bored tell them to walk on or get a coffee. No need for any drama, it sounds like they have done their playground time already. Offer them a key if they want to go back to your house and leave you to it.

That's very sad for you and very selfish of your parents. I say that as a granny who has spent many cold, boring hours in playgrounds! Of course it's important your little girl gets to play. I know that my daughter would have no hesitation in telling me exactly that if I were behaving like your parents. Just tell them how you feel. If they're cold and fed up just send them on home and you and your daughter enjoy her playtime.

It wasn’t cold and it was literally 5 minutes, I mean I wouldn’t expect them to stay long, I regularly do two hours and feel like biting my arm off, they could’ve sat for 20 minutes surely.
Just sad to me that they can’t do that occasionally but she has to do all the things they want to.
I was driving us all back so couldn’t really give them the keys.
I feel like saying tomorrow I’ll drop them at the cafes and I’ll take her to the playground, but I know that’ll cause an atmosphere and they’ll know I’m trying to make a point.
Sad they can’t be more involved with what makes her happy, it can be boring but also nice to see her play and have fun if you’re not used to seeing that surely 🤷🏻‍♀️

@supperlover I feel it’s selfish too

Also, Dd was so excited, pulling at Grandads hand to come and play at the playground

You must be me. My dh did most of the playground stuff. Maybe leave them at home and you and dd go. Also they may be just older and not up to running around after a toddler as you mentioned your dsis kids now being teens.

They don’t have the patience for young children any more. My mil was also older when I had my kids, so wasn’t as interactive as she was with DNephew. Plus people get selfish as they age… Can they walk home or can you go out without them ? Remind your mum and dad that shopping is not fun for a 3yo and they have lots of energy so this needs to be built in to the day. I’d be saying She is 3 so a walk and lunch isn’t on her radar… she wants a swing and an ice cream.

That's a shame - a shame they expect a young child to do stuff they want to do but they won't return the favour. Selfish - and hurtful, especially if they were happy to do that for your sibling's dc.

I'd have told them to go on home and stayed with your dd at the park.

Maybe they'd like to spend the day by themselves tomorrow?

Are they very old? Why do they expect a little child to enjoy cafés and plod along on an OAP expedition. I'm an OAP and I would be very bored. If they don't want to wait in the playground and they can be chilly places, then why don't they go on back ahead of you . My parents never expected my DC to not want to play, indeed they would've been worried if they hadn't.

You remember your parents doing things with older grandchildren who are teens now.
So that was 10/15 years ago? That's a long time ago. They are older now and probably want an easier life. Maybe they just are not able?
They are staying with you? So probably have had enough of your child during the day/early mornings and want a coffee in peace at the cafe?
My mum certainly isn't running around the park the way she was 15 years ago.

Late 60’s/early 70’s not old at all, very fit and able and with it. It’s mainly my dad who seems to do what he wants, so my mum automatically says ‘No, let’s walk on’ and it’s like ‘No, it’s ok, she can go in’
Almost two weeks and she’s been in once for a very short time

I do feel hurt by it and hurt for her if that makes sense

@ZekeZeke I definitely don’t expect them to run around after her at the park, happy to sit on a bench and watch-Dd is very independent and just runs off to play with others, it doesn’t really involve us having to do much at all and certainly not them as I’d do it all

Yeah they can't expect dd to happily do all their activities with them if they're not willing to do something she enjoys too. She's a person too! They don't have to do it or enjoy it but then they shouldn't expect you and DD to go on walks and to cafes with them either.

They still play board games and Jenga etc with my sisters kids but I’ve only seen my dad play with Dd, certainly can’t imagine my mum sitting playing a board game with her.

A 3 year old v a teen are not the same.

Personally, reading this I was struck by the feeling that there's a happy medium between both of your outlooks.

Were they like this with you as a child? Has it left you, for want of a better word, overcompensating with your own child? It's obviously nice to take her out but I don't think she NEEDS you to stand around in the park for 2 hours every day. I'd be somewhere between what you do, and what your parents do.

It's your choice though obviously, not a criticism, but I do think you are more child focused than average in this regard.

Two weeks without going to the park really won’t cause her any harm!

that said I wouldn’t be wanting to do everything with someone else for two weeks either. It’s fine to do things without them!

I dunno, I mean, at 2 literally the most normal of activities and chores are entertaining to them.

If you spend every other day of her life doing activities like play park, zoo etc does it really matter if she doesn’t do it so much on holiday? Presumably spending time with her GPs it’s what’s important. If it’s that much of a big deal then take her yourself and say you’ll meet GP at home.

I certainly don’t think it’s “selfish”’of them not wanting to do it