to send money to a Moroccan taxi driver

[Autumnterm]

Back in 2018 I went to Marrakech on holiday with my son. I can’t remember exactly how but I ended up getting the phone number of a friendly local taxi driver who took us from A to B several times. When we went back the following year we used him for our airport transfers both ways.

Since Feb 2020 we haven’t travelled abroad anywhere but I would occasionally get a text from him saying hello or how are you, to which I would respond hello/salaam/labas and that was that. I didn’t think much about it except that he was checking in just in case I was headed to Morocco and was tempted to use another taxi driver....and I did at one point recommend him to a relative going there but their trip was recently cancelled due to COVID.

Anyway cut forward to this week. He texted again and said hello my dear friend how are you and your family, and I responded as usual.

But this time he went on to say that life is hard for him, he has had no work due to the collapse in tourism and as a result he cannot pay for his kids to go to school. He sent me a picture of them - a boy and a girl, they look to be about 3 and 5 years old so I presume he means nursery school.

Stupidly (maybe) I asked how much was school and he said €90.

He has since sent me several texts asking if i will help pay for his kids to go to school. His English is not perfect but it sounds like he wants €30 a month for three months and he says in return if/when we go back he will drive us anywhere we want.

On one hand I know that Marrakech is one of the scam cities of the universe (lots of the people who run investment scams targeting UK pensioners are actually based there). I have no way of knowing if the kids in the photo he has sent me are really his and if there really is a charge to go to school and if he really has no work.

On the other hand €30 is affordable for me and I genuinely do feel sorry for people who rely on tourist revenue who have had a very hard time of it over the last two years. Morocco is open for tourists now but it was locked down for the whole 2020 season and some of 2021.

Would I BU to send him some €?

OP

I can totally understand how you are torn, both from the original post and your updates.

I think if I were your original post I too would have asked about the school. The other thing I would consider is buying educational materials to send

I know that would have cost more but a local house with a teacher would welcome notebooks etc and this could be negotiated against fees in the same way, "give my child a place at your college and I will pay for a new library" but on a smaller scale

OP, you are being scammed and even if the amount is small to you, you would be encouraging the scammer. They love rich Westerners like you. Btw I would never give my contact details to a taxi driver I met on holiday and if he managed to contact me I would block him immediately. He’s not a friend no matter how helpful and friendly his manner. He’s a holiday service provider.

Why would you even give your number to a local taxi driver you’ve just met.

This is like Pandora with the Tunisian beggar.

The bit I'm struggling with is the low key contact over the past couple of years which OP thinks is friendly but is actually him wondering if he is getting the repeat business. How can anyone think a random taxi driver is remotely interim how they are?

This thread is such an eye opener though. I used to read articles about people being conned out of money and think 'just how' and considered it rare that people fall for such things. This thread says otherwise. What a collection of gullibility

I wouldn't send him any money - it's not as if he's someone you know well or have a meaningful connection with. I think sending money will almost certainly lead to requests for more.

This kind of contact is so normal in Moroccan culture! Nothing to do with scamming money from people. It's a different culture with different norms.

This thread beautifully demonstrates why MN attracts so many begging threads and con artists.

I think I’d just send it
the cost of losing the money (£90) to a scam is low for you and the benefit could be high for him. Just make sure you don’t end up sending more and more that’s the real danger.

Going against the grain here, but if it’s money you’re not really going to miss, I think I’d send it - strictly as a one off. Life must have been very hard during Covid for anyone dependent on tourism.

We once helped someone we met on holiday and had got to know and liked - it was a one-off and genuine, for a particular purpose - it was rather more than you’re being asked for. We met him in subsequent years and he never asked for any more.

@XingMing and others, I hear you on not donating to Oxfam. I don't donate to big Western charities either. Many of them spend way too much on overheads, apart from their dubious ethics. Some years ago DH and I decided to identify a good charity in our home country, and we spent some time visiting and looking at their accounts and overheads. Now we just donate to them. Obviously, most people don't have the time or connections to do this, but perhaps sound out friends who live in the country. It is what I have done for Sri Lanka donations.

I don't think OP deserves to be berated as she has been.

I'd say the same thing if it was an English taxi driver she's not seen for four years asking her for money!

It seems to be like people are on MN are so so keen to be seen as good and kind and helpful that it no longer matters if they get scammed or ripped off in the process - it's bonkers 🤣

Poor attempt at virtue signalling. It doesn't give out that 'vibe' at all considering loads of posters have suggested she donates to a Moroccan charity instead of this individual.

If a london taxi driver text her after 4 years asking for money for their kids school fees I'd say not to send them money either.

It's pretty simple: if you can easily afford the money and you liked him, send it to him. But it's absolutely fair enough to email back and say prices in UK are sky rocketing and wages have been frozen for years, so you have no money to spare. And sadly won't be going on holiday to Morocco any time soon.

If you want to and can afford it, send him the money. But don;t feel guilty if you can't or don't want to.

More fool you

Education is free and well funded in the UK too, and still our free state school seems to be constantly asking for money for something.

OP, I think it is unlikely that he would hold out for that long just to scam on purpose. I think it is likely that he indeed kept in light touch with some possible minor future benefit in mind (for example, if his children move to the UK to have an "emergency" contact here or something, or hoping you'd recommend him to any friends who'd travel to Morocco), but now things genuinely became difficult.
A scammer would have "love bombed" (well, "contact bombed") you and asked for money much sooner.

It isn't. Asking for money isn't the done thing in English culture. It's far more normal in developing countries and places where people actually give a fuck about others. When there's no social welfare or safety net, it's either ask people for money or starve to death.

I agree. It's completely acceptable in many developing countries to ask for money or food. People take care of each other. People who had almost nothing were so incredibly kind to me.

Agree. A few years ago when I realised quite how corrupt the big charities are (Oxfam probably the worst of all, but others are bad too) I found a small '100%' (no overheads) charity that funds a specific school and orphanage in Kenya. We sponsor two individual children who are similar ages/sexes to my own. Have been in regular contact with them via the charity for about 10 years now.

We also donate/raise a lot of money for a local hospice here in the UK.

I also agree OP has done nothing wrong and those calling it a 'scam' or a 'con' don't understand anything at all about the dynamics of the relationship or how things work in poorer countries.

Good grief Op. Of course its a scam. He will be doing this to multiple gullible women. Block and don't visit Morocco again

It matters, @dustandroses because next time it might not be a switched on, internet connected Mumsnet user who is contacted asking for money. It might be someone's elderly parent with dementia, or a vulnerable brother with mental health problems.

Every SINGLE person on this thread who is saying just send the money is condoning that sort of scamming. Even if this isn't a scam, the OP has no way of knowing or fact-checking. And the person requesting the money knows that. She doesn't even know that the taxi driver from years back hasn't sold his phone, complete with all those contact numbers for wealthy Europeans, to his neighbour Scammy McScammerson.

It's the Ukraine thing all over again, rather than do what's actually needed and donate a tenner to the DEC, people would rather buy a whole load of stuff from supermarkets and send it over in the vague hope it will get where it's needed because it gives them all the feels and reinforces their self-belief that they are a GOOD PERSON.

You might as well say: only visit countries with safety nets and social welfare. That would make life very dull. Because this will happen to you in nearly every country which doesn't have one.