AIBU asking DM not to pray for me

[Felinefancier]

My DM aged 92 is very religious, an anti-vaxxer and doesn't believe in Covid.

I'm just getting over Covid and when we last spoke, she asked if she could pray for me. I said yes, but the 'prayer' was all about rebuking Covid and me for believing in it.

She also berated me for not taking lemon and garlic at the onset of symptoms, because that would have cured me in days.

I haven't seen her in person for over two years. I'll be visiting the city where she lives this weekend.

I know she's not going to change, but she probably doesn't have long left for this world, I want to see her but I find her criticism-disguised-as-prayer deeply offensive.

AIBU to ask her not to pray for me as a condition of my visit?

😂😂😂

@VeganGod

Yes I read the OP.

I think people expect no criticism of any form from others these days and have a propensity to be overly sensitive.

What is the criticism that OP has pointed out? Exactly? What is so hurtful - the only thing I can see is that she didn't take the lemon and garlic? Are you sure that warrants cutting someone off?!?

God, if I didn't get any criticism from my mum, I would be a much less well rounded person and possibly lacking in any resilience and most likely overly confident. If your mum cannot offer criticism, then who can?!?

I suggest the OP offers to pray for her DM and asks that the Lord rids her of her, misguided ideas, and gives her compssion and understanding of others!

I'm not religious at all but I am from a very religious extended family, when they tell me they're going to pray for me I just inwardly eye roll.

Honestly OP your Mum is 92, so what if she wants to pray for you? You haven't seen her in two years and at her age in particular you don't know how long she's got left. My Grandfather was fine until he was 95 and then suddenly one thing went wrong, then another and weeks later he wasn't here anymore. Make the most of her while she's here.

Ask her to pray for people more in need instead, such as those in Ukraine, or those who work in the NHS.

My Gran is incredibly pious whereas I’ve always been an Atheist. I let her pray for me because it makes her happy and it doesn’t affect my life either way. Not sure why you want to upset a 92 year old tbh, just let her have this.

I just find it strange that she'd ask if it's ok to pray. I pray all the time for my kids but they don't know about it. If I told them they wouldn't care, certainly wouldn't be offended by it. 🥺

Do some people only read the post title but not bother with the actual content of the post? That is the only way I can explain the totally 'not getting it' responses on here.

This is not about someone praying. This is the mum slagging of their daughter to her face, but protecting herself from criticism for doing so by pretending it is 'prayer'. The mum is being vicious, not religious.

Your mum should be one of your biggest supporters as well as the person to be honest with you if she thinks you’re making a mistake.

As a mum, if I think my children are making a bad choice, I’ll talk to them in a straight forward way. They have a chance to respond and the point of our conversation is to understand and think about each other’s points of view. I have no desire to only talk at them. It is done through love.

To hide the criticism in prayer is manipulative. It relies on the other person being scared to offend their ‘religion’. It’s not religion, it’s simply being a cunt and trying to pass off a one sided conversation as prayer. When someone is praying, we don’t disturb them, the mother knows this, so it’s gives her a full 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to be a cunt, to a person that can’t reply. She isn’t trying to understand her daughter and it doesn’t sound very loving.

I also believe that you should use Scripture to challenge this abuse of prayer. This came to mind:

James 3: 9-12
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.(N) 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?(O) Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

I'm more interested in the fact that she speaks in tongues. This blows my mind, has she always done this?

Let her pray for you, it's way of showing she cares and loves you.
She probably thinks cos' you aren't doing things her way she has to 'chastise' and pray for you at the same time.

My mum and dad never told me they loved me or were proud of me; but they prayed for me.

Now, they are gone, I understand it was how they were raised. They mentioned their pride to others. I wish they had told me.
But, they did sort of accept my faith and way of praying was different to theirs. But, they still had to tell me to 'say Amen' aloud so they could hear it.

Your mum's approach to faith requires the speaking in tongues. I don't get that, but she does, she needs it as a safety net. Just tune out like others have said.
Also if you can pray for her, or hold her hand, times have been tough on the elderly.

Don't cut her off, she's still your mum, and like most mothers - annoying and embarrassing in some way.

Stay strong and be you 🌻

She doesn't always speak in tongues, only when it's something important 😮

@Squirrelandnuts you obviously missed this comment from OP:

Loud prayer, 5-10 minutes, usually at the end of the visit or phone call, often includes her speaking in tongues. Usually includes veiled (and not so veiled) critism of me.

Its not her mother’s way of showing she cares, it’s her way of getting in sly digs. If it makes OP feel bad/upset then it is most definitely not “not doing any harm”.

We are under no obligation to put up with bad behaviour from anyone, giving birth to someone is not a get out of jail free card - there are sadly a lot of awful mothers out there as the recent news proves.

This. It would be like asking the sun not to shine.