To message my ex?

[amberandbar]

I was with my ex for just over a year around 6 years ago. The ending wasn't great due to his lies and cheating. However, I can confidently and truthfully say I'm over it now.

He was training to be a mental health nurse when we split. I remember him saying to me, 'what have you done with your life? Fair enough you have your daughter but what have you actually done with your life?' He said this near the end of our relationship. Coincidentally, I'm now in the final months of doing the course he did (have always worried this looks like I'm trying to follow him).

In spite of this, I genuinely believe he was a good guy. He keeps popping up on my people you may know and it's clear on his profile that he has a fiancé and a baby.

Would I be unreasonable to message him just saying that I'm glad to see he is doing so well and no hard feelings on my part? And congrats on the baby?

Or would it look absolutely nuts?

Yabu. He's clearly moved on, leave him alone!

Why? To tell him you’re as good as him and that you’ve done the same thing? To worry his fiancée? Who are you doing this for? It was 6 years ago, move on.

Totally unreasonable.
Do not do it.

what are you hoping to get from making contact?

Yes, you would. He didn't treat you well, you don't need his approval & he doesn't need yours. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Don't do it. It won't end well.
It's in the past and you should leave it there.

Yep it’d be unreasonable! Don’t do it. You were together for a year, 6 years ago, it’d be strange to message him. You risk looking a little stalkerish too to be honest.

I think it’s better left in the past.

Nuts. Move on and be happy!

Don't do it. I really think you'll regret it.

Okay. IABU got it

You would look jealous and bitter. Dont do it. The words will never sounds in his head like that do in yours.

especially dont do it since you have moved into the same field of work. Your paths will cross. Either directly, or via people in common.

This would be really weird. Block his profile and move on.

I get the temptation.
I would most likely contemplate it to.
Mull it over and wonder what his response might be, how the conversation would go... but actually it won't be anything wonderful. There's no place for this to go. The relationship died. It's done, never coming back, find something else to think about.

Well done on your course. That's awesome!

Yes it would be very unreasonable. The only person who would send a message like this is someone that is definitely not over the breakup and that's the message he'll take from it. He'll likely tell his fiancé as he'll think you're a bit of a stalker and will worry you'll message her, you'll be an object of pity. Move on, put him out of your head.

He lied, cheated and tried to put you down, he doesn't sound like a good guy. You say you're over it but his words have been playing on your mind for six years. Let it go. His life will not be improved for having your blessing.

I suspect you would like to make contact so you have the opportunity to let him know "what you have done with your life". He will be fine without knowing and you will be even better by not giving him the chance to reveal how insignificant his hurtful words were to him.

Congratulations on nearing completion of your course.

Omg why do people do this! Leave him alone

Definitely not a good idea, it's like opening a can of worms.

What a terrible, ridiculous idea. You'd look like a nutter.

So you want to make him feel good, which is how he will feel if you approach him now? He's a liar, a cheat and he insulted you. Stay away from him and just pity the poor woman who is with him now.

What’s your current relationship status?

Single why?

Makes sense now

Because If you were in a happy relationship you wouldn’t give him a single thought 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don't do it and block so you're not tempted to stalk him.