Dd 13yrs old wants to meet online friend

[Ijustneedaminute]

My 13 yr old daughter wants to meet up with her online friend. I am glad she has asked us and that she feels she can be open with us but we live in the south west and this friend wants to meet in Brighton. I think it’s too far and too much money but my DH says we could make a weekend of it. Now I feel a bit mean because I actually don’t want to do it and think it’s going to be weird. I said to my daughter is there anywhere closer we could meet but she said the friend wants to go to Brighton. What should I do?!

Massive hysteria on this thread, if kids have face timed it's not a 50 year old bloke catfish

That was a very different situation. For a start, he went alone without telling anybody, to the guys private residence. In this situation, the girls parents would be present in a public place. There is almost no comparison.

Some of the children I know (from age 9) are into video games and chat online with others from all over the world. Is that unusual?

MN is so full of hysteria when it comes to teenagers and the internet.

I was always talking to "strangers" on forums and the odd chat-room as a teenager - eventually that progressed to MSN and video chat. They were all just regular teens like me. I met up with a few of them and we're still in touch 20 years down the line.

My parents knew, their parents knew, we met in safe places etc. - as long as you're sensible there's not much that can go wrong. Jus make sure you don't let her go alone, make sure the friend also brings a parent, don't let them wander off alone on the first meeting etc.

Absolute hysteria in this thread. You can't compare a situation where the OP and her DH are accompanying their DD to meet this friend in a public place to Breck Bednar, for goodness sake.

It's a long way to go if you don't actually want to go OP, but other than that I think its a great way to handle meeting online friends.

Also FWIW I've been making friends online and meeting them since I wasn't much older than the OP's DD.

All kinds of different scenarios, including chat rooms where RL friends also hung out (so we went to meet-ups together), to special interest forums where we've initially met at public events and then privately afterward. A few local tweet-ups. I travelled to France to spend a week with a girl I'd never met when I was about 22.

In fact in September this year DH and I are going to spend a weekend with people I originally met over 15 years ago, through a forum. They've become good friends, despite us covering a wide range of ages, backgrounds and nationalities.

Of course there are dangers to be aware of and appropriate precautions must be taken (as the OP is doing) but just as in life not everybody on the internet is a pervert prowling for victims. There's a whole world of perfectly normal and interesting people out there to meet.

Trust me (as the former 16 year old that did it) if OP or any parents clamp down too hard on the subject of online friends then there's a good chance a headstrong teen will do it anyway on the down low, which is far riskier obviously.

I've just looked up poor Breck. His parents were limiting his internet, and he sneaked off.

This is very different to a child telling their parent about a meet-up and asking them to facilitate it. I've spoken to DD1 - who is 13 - about making online friends and how meeting anyone must be carefully organised with us in the loop.

If I refuse to ever allow her to do things then I risk the sneaking off situation.

And at 13 the world of social media opens up. They are allowed certain accounts without parental supervision. DD1 knows how to set up a new email account etc and could have a internet life I know nothing about. Instead I have discussed that I will always allow her to meet a friend, but with my input. She uses my discord account instead of having her own, for example.

Sadly we can't teen-proof the world, and let's face it she can be online dating in 5 years, with all the ghastly things that entails. I'm trying to world-proof my teen.

My dd loves a certain singer and has met with other fans of this singer. We have always met the other girls to ensure their safety amd they have met in a public place. Now she has met with them a couple of times, a couple of them have been to our house.
we have taken her to London to meet with her online friends which is about 45 mins from where we live. I wouldn’t be too keen to travel 2 hours or so but I know at the last meet up, one girl has travelled from Torquay to meet the others in London!