To feel embarrassed that DH has a career and I don’t

[Joolz90]

I feel like a failure. 30 with no career and he is doing so well. What does he see in me 😢

From your updates it seems to me that you like the idea of doing something (anything) which has good progression and pays well, but you don’t know or really care what that would be. Is it because you feel less when you’re in social situations? What is your motivation for wanting this? You haven’t mentioned that yet. It could be as vague as wanting to provide a better future for your children, but you haven’t mentioned, even vaguely, why you want a career, other than this envy of your DH.

The thing is, unless you’re passionate about what you want to do, or you are highly driven by the desire for more money, a bigger house, or whatever, then you are unlikely to stick at doing what you will need to in order to get established in, or progress within, a career role.

There are lots of routes to getting a better paying job with prospects for progression. Not all require a degree; for many workplaces, it’s just as important to have a solid record of reliability and hard work, so that they know you’re a good bet as a a person worth investing their time in. Look at apprenticeships - my government agency, for instance, takes apprentices at degree or postgrad level for general, specialist and technical roles, and they are all ages and come from all backgrounds. Or if you want to go into a field where a vocational degree is needed, you should look into universities which offer the courses you need.

But for any major change like this, you need drive, and to recognise that it will be hard work before you get your reward. Find the thing that motivates you, and you will find that drive.

Not all 'careers' are well paid though. A career is something you have passion for, a good level of training in and the drive to progress. It's not always about the money.

Open University Degree?
I'm half way through mine. Once I'm done I hope to start my dream career. I can't wait!

@OooohAhhhh what is it you are doing?

I don't think university is the only route to Rome. For example, I know a graphic designer and two digital marketers who got there using vocational qualifications, which took less times and cost less. Some of what happens at uni on vocational courses is padding.

Far better to really decide what you'd like to train as, talk to people doing it and learn more about the role in practice, and what the skills are. Then do proper research to find out how people got there-ask people in the roles, and don't just rely on what recruiters or universities say is necessary. You could save a ton on money.

There are loads of really interesting and well paid jobs working with buildings that you could do off the back of your current role. Are there more senior people you work with who you look at and think "I could do that" or "that looks interesting, I wish I knew how to do that"? I bet being on an FM helpdesk gives you insight into loads of different things.

A degree without any passion would be the biggest waste of money. You can't just "oo I dunno" your way onto and through a degree.

Look, just look through the job pages. Every role on there has a manager, a specialist, a compliance officer and so on. You take a role at the bottom and work your way up internally. But if you're not even looking at jobs and are able to discern what you might like to do, what you need to work on is cultivating some interests and a sense of personality so you can actually develop likes and dislikes and opinions. There's a chance you feel a career is something that will fill what you feel is lacking, when what you're lacking is a sense of identity and who you are. If you feel so empty and blank right now, and got a job, you'd just be empty and blank but sitting at a desk.

To be fair @Joolz90 you could have built and actual career where you are. I work in Facilities Management. I am director at our company. 2 kids, no degree but its well paid once you progress to a certain point. Even if you didn't want to say in FM forever, you could have pursued progression, further skills and further education.

If you want a career, build one. It's not your first thread about this but you dont seem to be doing much about it. Careers aren't built over night. It takes years. But those years will pass wether you do something or not. So in 10 years, you can either be in the same position you are now or you could have pursued your wish for a career and be established in it.

@Joolz90 Forensic Psychology. You can browse their degrees or free open learn courses on their website

Or you don't even have to do a full degree. You can stop at higher education level, diploma, or degree level.

If this isn’t you, there are some good suggestion on here for a very similar poster

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4511941-Is-32-too-old-to-start-a-degree

It's not too late at all, you're not necessarily even half way through your career and I've got the impression that FM is a field that can be really good for progression, whatever your qualifications, if you're up for it. Maybe if current employer isn't good for progression find one that is? Some of the FM companies are very big on promoting people with potential.