Step MIL asshole behaviour!

[Blue89]

Her baby shower started at 1 and finished at 6. Right after I received an invite I decided I wasn’t going as she invited MIL and SIL who have treated me like shit from day one. I thought, why should I subject myself to 5 hours + of abuse and passive aggression for anyone. My partner said if I don’t go he isn’t going either. I said if he didn’t go it would automatically be my fault and I don’t want to give anyone a reason to dislike me anymore. Because of this, we didn’t arrive to the venue until 5:35. I even had do drag our son from his nap to attend despite his bedtime being at 7:15. Luckily MIL / SIL had already left as they heard we were on route. The SMIL completely blanked me and was not too welcoming. I messaged later on to apologise but she read my message and didn’t respond, she later changed her profile picture too. So clearly ignoring me on purpose. As a result I’ve decided I won’t be speaking to her again.

I don’t think it’s worth me being uncomfortable around people just for her delight. Not sure why she’d even invite MIL, strange as they’re not even friends. I feel she is more annoyed because she wasn’t able to experience the drama she tried to create or perhaps im just paranoid.

Thoughts on the situation? How would you deal with things moving forward?

Another reason we decided to go was because the place was filled with smokers and it was too much for me let alone our 7 month old baby.

Umm so your step mil is pregnant? And invited her husbands ex wife to the proceedings?

There is no backing away slowly on this one there is run for your life

Your DP needs to face up to the issues and if he wants a relationship with them, he needs to step up. He should have went alone.
Turning up at that time was exceptionally bad manners, either go or don't, but don't add fuel to the fire. It's up to her who she invites. She invited her baby's half siblings. Your SIL might have wanted her Mother there, asked and was told yes. That's their business.
Tell your DP it's his problem going forward and he can't ignore, minimise the issues for a quiet life. It never works.

How strange to invite your DP/DH's ex to your baby shower (if I've understood that correctly).

Did you reply to the invite? Was she 3 or ting you to attend based on your reply?

If you said you'd be going, it was rude to turn up 25 mins before the end.

You apologised. How did you expect her to reply? What could she have said?

She's not replied but been online. So?

I agree with you jot wanting to take your baby to a smoke filled venue though.

What does your DP/DH feel about this?

Quite frankly I don't think I would have appreciated you turning up 45 minutes before it was due to end - it would have been better if you had sent some very nice apologies along with a present in advance. I can't work out from your post whose baby shower it was, but it sounds as if it was a member of your DH family in which case of course your MIL would, and should, be invited. This occasion wasn't about you - you should either attend and be polite, probably leaving early giving your baby as an excuse, or not attend at all.

Was she 3 or ting you should say 'was she expecting you'. Sorry!

Is it your step mil who's pregnant?
To be honest I would rather you hadn't turned up at all than arrive 25min before the end, I find that very rude.

Turning up half an hour before it ended was rude. Go or don’t go but don’t show up half an hour before it finishes.
You took your problems with mil and Sil out on step mil.

what do you mean about Facebook profile?

bloody hell what's the point of turning up 25 min before the end. Just don't go!
THAT was rude.

This is one of those posts I would love to hear the other sides story

You really thought showing up half hour before the event ended was reasonable? On what planet would that be reasonable?

Turning up just before the end was extremely rude and I didn’t agree with it. I felt manipulated by my partner I to going. He should of attended at 1pm as the invite suggested. However, sitting around until I agreed to go is the reason why we attended so late. I mentioned how rude it was and I wasn’t happy at all. However, whether I went late or not at all, I’d still be the problem. So if my dh decided not to attend because we didn’t, it would also be my fault. So dammed if I did or didn’t.

we didn’t bring a gift as we’ve gifted them over £300 worth of baby stuff including 3 boxes of nappies. She couldn’t be upset about not receiving more.

I’d still be the problem

Tbf, I think you're correct on that one. No wonder they don't seem to like you.

@TheCanyon i don’t understand your logic? If I can never do right in someone eyes, how’s that my fault?

You could have got it right by going. Or at least turning up on time.

You assume she would have been annoyed if you hadn't gone. But if you had just explained to her maybe she wouldn't.

Turning up 24 minutes before it ends is the absolutely worst thing you could have done. Your dh, maybe have suggested it, but you (knowing that's just awful could have chose not to.

If your dh manipulates you. Then your issue is with him. Not the family.

Non of them get on with you. Can't help wondering if this is the fault of your manipulative husband.

Could you please clarify who all these people are? I'm a bit confused...

Judging by everything written here there were two assholes in attendance and they weren’t your in laws

Very hard to follow but from the bits I did understand it all sounds very Jeremy Kyle

You don’t need to see any of these people who have treated you like shit from day one.
Why would you?
You married your Dh not his horrible family, so if he wants to meet up with them, tell him he’ll have to go alone.
If he won’t go alone and they blame you, who gives a shit, they shouldn’t have been so horrible with you.
Middle finger to them op!

Beat me too it!!

You should have declined invite explaining why and offering a separate catch up or went on time. You have been rude to step mil.

Dh should have went or declined making sure family are aware it is his decision. He has been very unfair to you.

Could step mil be upset that you turned up extremely late? Is she not allowed to be upset about that? I probably wouldn’t have responded either.

you have a dp problem if he’s manipulated you into going at all when you didn’t want too.

then there’s the dynamic with your MIL & SIL has he stuck up for you at the points they’ve been nasty to you?

Your husbands father has married a much younger woman who is now pregnant with your husbands half sibling? Is that the jist of it?

Why didn't you just go? And stop playing all these silly games trying to decide if you'll go or not. You could have sat far away from MIL and SIL. Or just say you'll get something when baby was here safely but you're superstitious. Instead you made a massive drama and I imagine step MIL thinks you hate her

Oh and you turning up at the end of the event does not make ‘SMIL’ an asshole 🤷🏻‍♀️

I messaged later on to apologise but she read my message and didn’t respond, she later changed her profile picture too. So clearly ignoring me on purpose. As a result I’ve decided I won’t be speaking to her again.

Her life isn't about you! She just changed her profile picture. She had nothing to say to you after your apology. Did you sit there with a sour face on when you did make it there. She's done absolutely nothing wrong and now you've decided not to speak to her because she hasn't replied to your apology? Grow up!