AIBU to want to be a discreet pooper? (lighthearted)

[Lovemypeaceandquiet]

NC for this, but I couldn’t help myself to ask if I’m the only one.

I don’t like people to know when I’m popping.

As in, I don’t like to make it obvious - let’s say I can’t just get up and go for a longer toilet break and then come back to the room full of people knowing they know I’ve just been for a number 2.

So I time my toilet time for when no one is around.

For example I’ve got guests staying over this weekend, so I woke up before everyone else to use the downstairs toilet.

Alternatively, I wait for everyone to wake up and go downstairs, so I can use the upstairs bathroom before taking a shower, so the lengthy stay in there is justified by something else than taking a 💩

Even when it’s just me & my husband in the house, I choose the furthers bathroom away from him!

I know it’s a natural thing and everyone does number 2, but it makes me uncomfortable to think that someone knows exactly when I do it 😬

Hm your body gets used to a particular time. It just requires a bit of practice but once you know at what time you can expect to poo it makes life so much easier.

Op, I've got no issues at home but I hate public toilets. I just can't bear anyone knowing I'm doing a poo. At work I use the toilets on another floor and make sure that there is no one else. If anyone enters I wait till they have left. It's a pain.

I used to be able to go every morning immediately after waking up and before showering but now I'm not that regular anymore and it's a real pain. 😶

Or you could just practice getting used to using public toilets and being comfortable with other people knowing that you have the same bodily functions as just about everyone else.

Then just go when you need to go. Obviously needs a bit of organisation when you're out in the wilderness but seems a better solution than trying to force your body into fitting into an arbitary schedule.

I used to only poo once a day, fairly quickly after I got up. Something has changed in recent years though, and now I really have no choice about pooing at work or in public toilets. I would draw the line at actual public pooing, but if there's a toilet available then I'll use it for its intended purpose.

I’m 100% with you, OP!!
when my late husband was still alive, and we were on holiday, I used to make him go for a wander/ a fag/ a drink so I could poop in peace! Bless him, he was never bothered😇
Since being widowed, I have been dating a chap for about 18 months now, but luckily we each live in our own homes, so the issue doesn’t arise.
I never ‘go’ at work nor did I at school…. Just couldn’t.
Lockdown was a joy, weeks at home, so I could poop whenever!
I know holding it in is probably not good for the system, but I’m nearly 60 now so unlikely to change!

I feel the same but have IBS so don't have the luxury of discretion

Forgot to add - if you’re on hols and needing to go, you can always ‘forget something’ in the room and pop back to collect it…. Take the room key and then you can poop in peace!! This works really well for me!
And, why are men such info-sharers about poo? Over the years, most men I’ve known - either family or colleagues, seem to have to give you descriptions or ‘best-Evers’ regarding this…🤷‍♀️

Same as you OP.

Would never go at work unless there was no choice

Also at home there is a sink or I time it to have a shower afterwards

YABVU to use the word 'poop'. It's 'poo'.

This used to be me 100% as a teenager.. I would hold it in for hours. I even went home.on the bus a couple of times in my lunch hour to avoid pooping at work.
Now I don't care!! If I need to go I need to go

Quite, but I think you and I are the only ones left.

I have IBS so I don't have the luxury of being precious about these kind of things.

You're missing out! Sometimes I take a longer break to the toilet just for some peace, especially of there are guests around and I need some space!

I do understand though, I can count in one hand the number of times my husband has farted in my presence, he squirrels off to the toilet to do them or pretends he has to go and field something, it's pretty cute! And while its normal I'm glad I dont live with a pig that thinks the louder the funnier!

Does it take you so much longer to poo than to pee?? I don't understand how people can really tell the difference.

Perhaps you should take longer for your pee breaks to narrow the margins of their estimation and leave them in greater doubt.

I announce my poos to my DP. I'm proud of them, like a hen who's laid an egg.

I don’t think anyone should be in pain or suffer with medical issues for others comfort but there’s a balance to be struck. I’d find it antisocial if an adult who could wait stank out a plane toilet, that’s not fair for the people who are stuck next to the toilet. It’s natural but no one else wants to hear or smell it.

Me too ☹️ and urgency too just for fun 🥴

Lol, you are too shy to let people know when you use the bathroom but you are happy to post about it on a national chat forum,😂🤣😂🤣

I seem to have very selective bowels and can’t go in places other than where I consider ‘home’ - this also includes our holiday home, my mum’s and very occasionally hotels. Nowhere else. Travelling is a bit of a problem - I’ve seen me not go for a week when abroad, it’s become a standing joke.

I have no issues at home, but it’s as if I just switch off when I’m away from home.

I just clap my hands together loudly and I use Captain Oates' famous quote
'I am just going outside, and maybe some time'

And, why are men such info-sharers about poo? Over the years, most men I’ve known - either family or colleagues, seem to have to give you descriptions or ‘best-Evers’ regarding this…

I've never known a man who does this, not one male colleague has ever mentioned his shits.

Ignoring the 'call to poo' is not a good thing and can lead to constipation over the long term.

Chikapu

You’re very lucky then!!

in just the last couple of weeks at work, I’ve been treated to a story of someone stuck in a lift, desperate for a poo, and what happened when the lift didn’t stop - and then 2 different men giving it
“I’d give that 5 minutes to clear” regarding the toilets.🙄

@Lovemypeaceandquiet I admire your bowel control..... I 'poop' in a bag. Imagine that eh! (As in a colostomy bag not a random bag)

Oh god my mum's the worst for this bless her. She once went on a sail boat holiday with her boss and his fil, she didn't go for two days and felt so ill. When they docked she legged it to some public toilets. When my dh first moved in, she would drive at night to the nearest public toilets because she was so mortified.
early in our relationship, dh booked a weekend away for us at a b&b. The room and the bathroom were separated only by a wooden concertina door, that was embarrasing.

I laugh now but my poor friend 😂 she went on holiday with her boyfriend, his brother and girlfriend when she was about 19 and was told not to drink the tap water. she drank the tap water. They were all sharing a bathroom and she said it smelt like pure sulphur. She went once and was so embarrassed the next time she had to go, she went in the grass outside and didn't have tissue to wipe with (I think time was of the essence) so in her words "had to tobbogon across the grass like a dog!" 😂 the girlfriend said to her the next morning, oh my god the pipes absolutely stink in this place.

I'm going to be boring here, but for all you regular (ha) holder-inners, it's really really not healthy long-term to "resist the urge" as it were.

There's plenty of articles about it - and the risks include:

Constipation
Impaction
Bowel Perforation
Distension of the rectum (lovely!)
Colon inflammation which could lead to cancer
Appendicitis
Haemorrhoids

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/is-it-bad-to-hold-your-poop#complications

I'd rather just poo