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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask him to keep DD?

70 replies

Coolcreature · 23/04/2022 15:01

I've changed some details here.

DD5 went to her dad's yesterday. His girlfriend has tested positive for Covid girlfriend is very involved with DD so lots of close contact.

I've suggested he keep DD, and we wait it out. If on day 5 DD is testing negative, then he take DD to school and then ill pick her up and she will come home. This is also the advice from 119.

His reason for wanting her to come home tomorrow as normal is that he will get "stressed" and that DD will have to watch her brother and sister go home. (That's their mums choice, none of my business)

Im extremely vulnerable and was a shielder. I've had pneumonia, a heart attack and have high blood pressure. I've also got numerous mental health disorders which have lead to me being hospitalised in a psych ward.

So me catching it would be horrendous in all ways. And I am the sole parent of another child.

AIBU?

OP posts:

AlternativePerspective · 24/04/2022 17:39

Sorry, for your DD to live with her dad permanently.

Stomacharmeleon · 24/04/2022 17:58

Am with @AlternativePerspective

MichelleScarn · 24/04/2022 18:41

And no, I wouldn’t be moving the BF in. Sorry but I just wouldn’t. It’s not fair on your DD for her life to be curtailed to accommodate the vulnerabilities of someone who doesn’t even live there ATM. very much agree with this. Will you send her away every time she's in touch with a positive case?

Original poster

Coolcreature · 24/04/2022 20:22

AlternativePerspective · 24/04/2022 17:38

Ok first things first, if you’ve been vaccinated then the outcomes for COVID patients, even those with underlying conditions are far better than they were in the beginning of the pandemic.

The vast majority of patients ending up in ICU or worse because of COVID haven’t been vaccinated.

I am vulnerable, was told in no uncertain terms that if I caught COVID I would be unlikely to survive. I am currently recovering from COVID and although it’s been bloody unpleasant the outcomes are nowhere near what they would have been two years ago.

Secondly, if you need to get professionals involved etc then wouldn’t it be better for your DD to live with your BF permanently if she’s such a risk to you?

And lastly, if DD is living there, then IMO I wouldn’t be expecting her to compromise for the fact you’re moving in someone else who currently doesn’t actually live there.

Fact is the GF tested positive at the time she was there. Had she tested positive a day later your DD would have been back with you by then.

This is laughable

I've also changed a hell of lot of details so comments about BFs/GFs aren't relevant.

Anyway, DD is home, her Dad started getting aggressive and made it clear he didn't want her. No excuse given now, just doesn't want her.

It comes down to me being the actual parent everytime.

Anyway, all points are moot. Let's see what happens.

OP posts:

Moomeh · 24/04/2022 20:25

Which part of that post was laughable? I think if you make up details to keep you anonymous, people will respond about those details in good faith and end up being inaccurate but that's not their fault.

I hope your dd is fine and hasn't caught it.

MichelleScarn · 24/04/2022 21:28

Why was the post laughable? Its an answer to the info you gave, so dds dad gf doesn't have covid or you're not vulnerable or your bf isn't going to come and live with you after surgery?

AlternativePerspective · 25/04/2022 05:38

So what you’re actually saying is that you made the whole thing up. Ok.

Sushi7 · 25/04/2022 06:19

@Coolcreature I've also changed a hell of lot of details so comments about BFs/GFs aren't relevant.

So why mention them at all if they’re not real? How can people offer you advice if you’ve fabricated most/all the story? Very weird.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/04/2022 06:31

@Mustardmusings I have. There is a priest in Italy who had to have one. He was fit and well before getting Covid. I don't know how he even survived.

AlternativePerspective · 25/04/2022 06:40

It is.

OP: “AIBU? insert long and protracted story>”

poster: <addresses all points of the long and protracted story>.

Poster: “your post is laughable, because none of the points in the OP actually happened.”

I think there’s a term for making up threads isn’t there? Mmm

Fulmine · 25/04/2022 07:01

If you are triple vaccinated you are less likely to catch it as well as less likely to be severe. The new variants are much, much milder than the original covid.

Not necessarily true. Everyone I know who has had covid recently has been considerably more ill than I was in the first round. And we are still getting pretty high levels of deaths.

Billandben444 · 25/04/2022 07:20

Not necessarily true. Everyone I know who has had covid recently has been considerably more ill than I was in the first round. And we are still getting pretty high levels of deaths.
All 6 of my close family have had covid in the last 3 months, all fully vaccinated - symptoms ranged from mild head cold to fluey cold. At no stage was I ever worried about them which I would have been if they'd caught it pre-vaccination.

Zonder · 25/04/2022 07:30

Your poor DD. I hope she didn't pick up on the fact that he didn't want her.

BungleandGeorge · 25/04/2022 07:42

Has your daughter been vaccinated? You and your bf?

hellcatspanglelalala · 25/04/2022 07:54

And we are still getting pretty high levels of deaths.

With covid, not OF. Because so many people now test positive when they're in hospital sick or dying with other things.

Original poster

Coolcreature · 25/04/2022 08:03

The laughable bit was saying she shouldn't live with me

OP posts:

Moomeh · 25/04/2022 08:36

Coolcreature · 25/04/2022 08:03

The laughable bit was saying she shouldn't live with me

I don't think that was laughable at all. I think it was highlighting that you're unreasonable not to want your dd at home any time she has an infectious illness.

Moomeh · 25/04/2022 08:37

(Let alone this situation, when she doesn't even have the illness, just a CHANCE of having caught it)

Original poster

Coolcreature · 25/04/2022 14:31

Oookay 🙄

OP posts:

JustLyra · 25/04/2022 15:37

hellcatspanglelalala · 25/04/2022 07:54

And we are still getting pretty high levels of deaths.

With covid, not OF. Because so many people now test positive when they're in hospital sick or dying with other things.

The ONS figures are people dying of covid, not with, and they are still high.

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