Council worker urinating in full view of kids at our back window

[Yummymummy2020]

Without drip feeding or leaving anything out, I was in my sitting room (whole wall is basically giant window) and my two year old asked about a man out the back. There is an estate behind us and some railings close to our window. The man was full frontal facing us urinating against the railings in full view of my kids. One is a baby but obviously the two year old noticed. I went out and asked him what he was doing despite it being obvious but I was caught off guard and wanted to say something. He asked was I alright and I just came back inside a bit stunned. Now I’m really annoyed because I am weirded out and didn’t want my kids to see anything like that. But I don’t know if I’m being dramatic about this. He knew the kids were there so I feel it’s basically flashing, my husband thinks it was a foolish choice to make(there are more secluded areas seconds away) but that it’s not a huge deal. I think it is, it’s obvious the kids were there and I think it’s being a creep to deliberately do that in front of people. No idea if he had a medical issue, but again, there are secluded areas near by so why do there. The kids were in and out the back area (giant window is partially a sliding door) so I think it was really obvious we were there and also the back is littered with kids toys and a big play table . Basically there is no way he was unaware of kids. I complained about it but I’m being made feel a bit like I’m over reacting and feel a bit bad if I am in fact being dramatic. I didn’t call the police but had considered it. Then thought well maybe that’s too much. I do get medical needs to go toilet in a hurry but I had this bad feeling about his place of choice that he could have been a creep and also I obviously interrupted him and he didn’t seem embarrassed or apologetic. His back was to the estate he was doing work on but full frontal to us if that makes sense.
not really sure in a way why I’m posting here I guess just to get other feelings on it, I suppose since it was a wee it’s a bit different to flashing alone but I kind of feel it’s not with young kids especially, and I feel I should say I’m not a prude!

I would have complained to the council - normally, if he just seemd caught short I'd let it go but it seems he's a flasher pretending he isn't.
I think I would report to his dept at Council - obviously you don't know his name but you could say it appeared like flashing and you are concerned - it might be laughed at but I be others keep an eye on him in the future.

Even taking everything out of the equation about his motivations, a council worker urinated against your garden railings in full view of your window despite having other places to hide himself? That in itself is worthy of a complaint in my view.

Op

Irrespective of the kids present
he should no be urinating in public
no need to go in to so much detail when you contact the council
but there will likely be an online form that you can complete with this issue

Plus I also agree that choosing to do so at a garden with a large window and full of kids toys does suggest that he wanted to be seen, normal people hide in trees or face a solid wall or fence if caught short.

Op you need to focus on being much more sure of your opinion rather than “feeling bad” that your husband has a different opinion to you.

Complain im all for the "caught short" defence but not infront of children there is no excuse especially as you say there were better areas that didn't involve exposure to children

Thanks everyone. I guess because I don’t know what he was thinking I don’t want to paint someone out to be a creep in the wrong as obviously that’s very serious with long term implications. But also it did seem very off to me. If I was going on gut alone, I would be thinking he was being sinister. Yes, I Definitely don’t want someone using the railings as a toilet but I guess if the kids were not here I would be more laid back about it despite it being gross and more than likely unnecessary to do it there in particular. im generally pretty laid back and not one to complain but this really annoyed and unsettled me. It’s never happened before to my knowledge so don’t think it’s an ongoing thing, this caught me off guard altogether and I didn’t know if I was over reacting as such!

So are you going to report?
usually very simple
online form on council website

Op
You have put a lot of effort into excusing this man's behaviour into your post.

People who respect normal social boundaries do not piss on the street.

No, you need to complain about that. It’s exposing yourself at the end of the day.

@tomatoandherbs sorry I should have replied to you directly, I actually did already report as per my op but just wasn’t sure if I was over reacting as I don’t know if it’s counted as flashing which could cost someone their job (I would have thought) and just I guess I was a bit on the fence if it was innocent if it warranted someone having that happen if they were just caught short and made a stupid one off choice. I do agree it was the right call to report it to the council I just wasn’t sure if escalating it to the police was too much with too serious consequences for the person really. I am open minded about whether I’m over reacting to be considering that as such given the fall out for someone afterwards when I can’t say for certain they had sinister intentions as bad as it looks if that makes sense!

So the entire thread is about whether your husband is right to think you’ve been ott and unfair?

op, seriously. A man took a piss in broad daylight, full frontal. Throw kids in to the equation and the only baffling (and about weird) thing is that your husband thinks otherwise. Oh and the fact that then makes you entirely question yourself

You should complain. There are going to be policies in place for these workers eg waste collection or grounds maintenance.
These policies will state that they should use buildings where there is a pre agreed arrangement or portable urinals or as a last resort VERY discretely in public. The fact that he chose to do it so close to your house in full view is grounds for a complaint to the council.

@sickofthisnonsense you are totally right and I think i am making excuses because I worry too much about other people thinking I’m over reacting! I feel a bit better now to see so many people would complain also and that I’m not! Thank you! And to all that shared their opinion on it!

Whether or not innocent is irrelevant
it was not appropriate
a form of vandalism
And would like incur a penalty notice

Op you are definitely not overreacting. i hate men pissing in public but if they must do it they could at least be discreet. I tend to think someone who doesn’t give a shit about exposing himself is either an arrogant wanker who needs to be given a warning or a sex offender. There are women or kids who’d be really traumatised by that kind of thing - like an old woman on her own in the house who feels vulnerable? I think your husband needs a lesson in empathy. Ask him if he’d wee in front of a stranger? I bet he wouldn’t and he knows it’s wrong really.

Well I was questioning if I was overreacting yes, that was the point of the whole thread, to get other peoples opinions. I don’t recall saying he said it was unfair though? I believe I said he said it was a foolish choice to make but not a big deal. I did say I’m being made feel like I’m overreacting but I’m livid about it so I’d imagine that’s why.
its nice to have mumsnet to ask opinions on with stuff like this, I’m genuinely not trying to aggravate anyone by asking opinions though so I’m sorry if it’s caused you annoyance. I do appreciate your input though.

Sorry this was a reply to @tomatoandherbs

@stealthninjamum you are so right he definitely wouldn’t. I know a lot of people can be brutal for doing this, happens in the park a lot, but I guess you somewhat expect it there not in full view of your back garden. Thank you!

You say it was obvious children were in view of him so I’m assuming you were as well as a lone female. Please also report this to the police OP.

I don't think your over reacting seems very odd thing to do with better options seconds away - a complaint makes his employers aware of his behavior and a chance to deal with it if they deem it necessary - if no one reports it they get no chance to do that.

@Jackjack0962 yes I was on my own at the time with the kids though this would not always be the case. I do think it was obvious now myself that the kids were there because it’s all glass so you can see in very clearly and there was clearly kids toys also close to the railings area so in my opinion, even if he didn’t take notice of the kids he surely would know kids and young ones at that lived here so if it wasn’t sinister it was a really stupid place to do it for sure.

I don’t buy the “caught short” argument. How come women can always manage to find a public toilet?
You never see women squatting for a piss in the street - why are men so useless at planning toilet breaks, or so uncaring of public decency?

If he deliberately urinated in front of kids, he’s a flasher. That is what a flasher is. Please don’t question your feelings. Report him with a description to the police he’s probably doing it in various locations.

I work with sex offenders. Please report to the police and inform the council you have done so. You aren’t being dramatic and it potentially could be a big deal. I hope you’re ok 💐